how do we treat each other?

Published

Why are we so quick to judge others? Lately I've seen so much backstabbing, accusations, negativity at work that I'm in total shock that fellow registered staff members could be so cruel. I am not talking about one or two people here. I have seen staff get an idea in their head that someone is " out to get them" and by the end of the shift and into the next the poor person, who was going about their business and oblivious to the gossip, is almost tarred and feathered and hung out to dry. Then, in the next moment the accusations are proven false and no one - not one person- apologizes!!

I have been left notes and had insinuations made that I am sitting around on my shift when in fact, I almost never get a break and spend a lot of time " housekeeping" because others leave charts, old notices, etc laying around and I like my work area to be tidy. I have stocked med carts, emptied trash, washed and dried bottles that were coated in old drippings ie. colace bottles and still .... I hear " what are you nurses doing??"

As for common courtesy.. what happened to that???? I was out the other day shopping and I had one person after another walk in front of me in an aisle where I was trying to find something, and not one person, young or old said excuse me.

I'm sure we could debate this one forever but I just needed to vent. We need some civility brought back to our lives, thats for sure.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in pulm/cardiology pcu, surgical onc.

It is sad that so many people are disengaged, don't even think (or care) of others feelings or how their actions will affect others. I don't socialize with certain co-workers at work (or anyone outside of work) anymore because they can be so catty it's ridiculous or they're so blatantly fake it makes me vomit a bit in my mouth. Then there are the ones who are always sick, over-worked, taken advantage of, clueless, chew gum with their mouth open, or wear way too much perfume and way too tight scrubs. I never ask them how they're doing.

Sorry I went off on a rant and forgot where that was going. I keep my head down and keep truckin' thru my 12 hour shift than beat feet to get outta dodge but I always thank my co-workers especially CNAs for their help.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Hello. I agree with your concept that nurses "should not be quick to judge others". After working for decades, I have learned that sometimes the extremely high stress of nursing work can unfortunately cause us nurses to become "snappy" and too quick to judge co-workers. In your responses to occasional less than ideal interactions with co-workers,it is helpful to separate the small stuff from the big stuff. If the situation is small stuff of general "negativity and gossip" , a good coping strategy is to develop a "thick skin" and to maintain a "shake it off" attitude. If the situation is big stuff such as a specific complaint about your professional work, it might be wise for you to kindly, assertively, and privately talk with the co-worker(s) who expressed the concern (to protect your professional work record and to convey that you strive to be a great team player). Best wishes!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
If the situation is big stuff such as a specific complaint about your professional work, it might be wise for you to kindly, assertively, and privately talk with the co-worker(s) who expressed the concern (to protect your professional work record and to convey that you strive to be a great team player). Best wishes!

ocean, i agree w/your entire post but wanted to comment on the above.

while privately talking with a coworker is the professional and considerate way to handle concerns, experience has taught me to have a witness in some way.

whether you talk in the presence of the nm/boss; relay contents of conversation w/boss; follow up in writing to boss...

it's a smart idea to keep a higher- up in the know.

as we have seen, coworkers can cause others to be fired/suspended, r/t bogus complaints/charges.

if anyone starts badmouthing you, you need to get mgmt involved somehow, to give them the heads up that 'jane' may be starting problems about you or whomever.

it's sad that it has to come to this, but nursing is an incredibly back-stabbing profession.

people we always believed to be 'friends', have proved otherwise.

a consistently flawless work record, can suddenly become tainted.

nurses who try to do the right thing, often find themselves on someone's **** list thereafter.

as the op suggests, 'we' are often extremely disrespectful and even contemptuous to/of ea other.

we need to do whatever it takes, to protect ourselves.

leslie

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care.

It's sad but this seems to be the status quo. I really can't get my head around why women who are smart, have a lot on their plate and claim to be "caring" people are so hateful and disrespectful towards each other. Nursing is a second career for me and I thought there would be less politics in health care. Wow, I was really wrong. It's a lot worse. Interestingly, this is a management problem IMO. Too often, the best nurses are selected to be in management and they are not necessarily the best managers. I've been on both ends of the spectrum. It's a really sad reality of nursing. And unfortunately it's everywhere. That's why I enjoy traveling or agency. You fly under the radar.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med-Surg, Home Health, LTC.

I have not posted in awhile and came on to read or talk about what you posted.

How do we treat each other?

I have seen a change over the last ten years.

Less respect, more rudeness, blaming...all you mentioned....

Enough that I have taken a break from nursing for awhile and really trying to find in my heart or perhaps a "place"

where it could be different and I can return.

I even tried noc shifts! Quiet enough, certainly better, but oh those AM nurses jump in ready to cause such grief!

I often consider if it has changed for nurses, how must it be for patients?

The negativity reaches out there to them too.

I do not believe this is isolated to just the medical field. Our society is suffering

anyways thanks for the post, at least I know there are others feeling and seeing the same.

Peace.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm reminded of something I heard on TV earlier this year. If two men have a argument/disagreement they will for the most part shake hands and go have a beer after the argument and remain friends. You won't see this happen with women. Sad but true. Most women just don't let things go. They will hold on to arguments FOREVER. And will hate that individual until the day they die. What I don't understand is how can someone call themselves a Christian and not forgive?? I think some would rather be shot dead or have surgery without anesthesia than forgive another human being. Something so simple yet so hard.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in SNF, 2 year s hospital.

I am so glad that you posted this! The same exact thought came to mind after working sunday! All the back stabbing and gossip is crazy!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc.

The sad truth of it is, though, that this isn't strictly a "nursing" thing it's an entire societal thing. Nobody is nice to anybody anymore. We, as a culture, spend so much time looking out for number one we forget that there are other people out there. There is a ridiculous sense of entitlement pervasive in our society. I repeatedly hear the phrase "nurses eating their young" to the point of being sick to death of it because it isn't just in nursing...it's everywhere. We are humans eating each other and it's only getting worse. To me it seems like our society is crumbling. There is very little civility, work ethic, humanity, kindness, introspection, charity or any positive character trait demonstrated by people today and it's disturbing...in a "Lord of the Flies" kind of way. I truly fear for our future.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

This is why I generally get along better with males than females. Women are so catty towards each other, pretend to like you, then gossip about you behind your back. Guys will talk crap about you to your face and I respect that...as long as they don't get too disrespectful of course. I guess I never really thought about this as far as my nursing career goes. I will obviously have many more female coworkers than male. But I guess I'll do as I do in my current job: have zero female friends, eat lunch in my car, keep to myself, etc., etc.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in PACU, OR.
The sad truth of it is, though, that this isn't strictly a "nursing" thing it's an entire societal thing. Nobody is nice to anybody anymore. We, as a culture, spend so much time looking out for number one we forget that there are other people out there. There is a ridiculous sense of entitlement pervasive in our society. I repeatedly hear the phrase "nurses eating their young" to the point of being sick to death of it because it isn't just in nursing...it's everywhere. We are humans eating each other and it's only getting worse. To me it seems like our society is crumbling. There is very little civility, work ethic, humanity, kindness, introspection, charity or any positive character trait demonstrated by people today and it's disturbing...in a "Lord of the Flies" kind of way. I truly fear for our future.

Like you, I see these traits in society, and the only solution I can think of is to identify a point at which it started...

What do you think? Benjamin Spock? WW1 or 2? Does the problem lie in schools, or is it the media? Can we put the blame on Hollywood?

If we can pinpoint a source of the problem, we can at least try to develop a means of countering it.

OP, your problems at work can probably be traced to 1 or 2 nasty troublemakers. Identify the source and you're halfway to solving the problem. The problems in society as a whole are far more complex, but essentially boil down to a lack of respect for other people and life in general.

So when did we become so nihilistic?

Nice debate, now I'll have to wait until this evening to follow it further...I'm already late for work....sorry boss, it's those naughty allnurses tempting me again...:D

Up Vote Up Vote ×

It sounds like life at work is becoming unmanageable. Unfortunately what you are saying is beginning to sound perfectly normal to me. Thats who people are and that is what they do. Trying to stay centered and go placidly among the haste is a challenge. I know the stress that results from all of this can really take a toll.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion