Why are we so quick to judge others? Lately I've seen so much backstabbing, accusations, negativity at work that I'm in total shock that fellow registered staff members could be so cruel. I am not talking about one or two people here. I have seen staff get an idea in their head that someone is " out to get them" and by the end of the shift and into the next the poor person, who was going about their business and oblivious to the gossip, is almost tarred and feathered and hung out to dry. Then, in the next moment the accusations are proven false and no one - not one person- apologizes!!
I have been left notes and had insinuations made that I am sitting around on my shift when in fact, I almost never get a break and spend a lot of time " housekeeping" because others leave charts, old notices, etc laying around and I like my work area to be tidy. I have stocked med carts, emptied trash, washed and dried bottles that were coated in old drippings ie. colace bottles and still .... I hear " what are you nurses doing??"
As for common courtesy.. what happened to that???? I was out the other day shopping and I had one person after another walk in front of me in an aisle where I was trying to find something, and not one person, young or old said excuse me.
I'm sure we could debate this one forever but I just needed to vent. We need some civility brought back to our lives, thats for sure.
It is sad, but I do have to agree with the majority of these post. Women are just "catty" by nature and when you are in a career field that is mostly women, this is what you run into. I am at a point where I have been a nurse for only 2 and 1/2 years and I am considering another career change because the backstabbing and lack of team work between nurses is so sad. I work with nurses that try so hard to get even with each other that it consumes them, and really the only people that suffer are the patients. I see why there is a nationwide shortage of nurse because people get tired of dealing with it after a while. I know I am.
It is sad, but I do have to agree with the majority of these post. Women are just "catty" by nature and when you are in a career field that is mostly women, this is what you run into. I am at a point where I have been a nurse for only 2 and 1/2 years and I am considering another career change because the backstabbing and lack of team work between nurses is so sad. I work with nurses that try so hard to get even with each other that it consumes them, and really the only people that suffer are the patients. I see why there is a nationwide shortage of nurse because people get tired of dealing with it after a while. I know I am.
Is it that bad? That you are considering a career change?! That is unfortuante to read. After all your hard work in nursing school, don't let something as silly as immature women deter you from what you love to do. Keep your head held high
Exactly, I agree. Kids especially aren't taught good manners today.
I had someone in the pre-Xmas rush barge past me in a hurry to get somewhere, and nearly knocked me over in the process. I managed to grabbed onto something and didn't fall, but if I had been very old, I could have slipped and broke a hip.
I never, ever push by people without saying excuse me or if I think they haven't heard me (or may be deaf), I lightly tap them on the shoulder, repeat my request or mimic what I want. I think it's so incredibly rude just to push by people.
In some hospitals I've worked at there are big signs in the nurses' break room saying u aren't allowed to gossip re patients or other staff members, but some people still do. I wonder if some of these break rooms have hidden cameras or recording devices?
Exactly, I agree. Kids especially aren't taught good manners today.
I wouldn't blame the kids. In the not-too-distant past, rudeness was allowable as long as it was directed at the right people (usually women and non-whites). Most of the rudest people I've encountered have been elderly. It's almost as if once someone reaches 60, their filters disappear (if they ever had any).
One day while walking through a store I passed by a young man, very handsome. African. I smiled and he smiled back with a genuine heart. A short while later he came up to me and began to talk, introduced himself.
We spoke for a few moments, I inquired where he was from. He said he was visiting the US for four m onths and would be returning home soon.
I asked him "what is the biggest difference you see here, in the US, compared to where you live?"
He replied......" you are so angry here. Everyone has so much, but you are so angry. where I am from, we have so little but we are happy. We are connected. We share. If you are sad, I am sad. If you are happy, I am happy".....
Wisdom I shall never forget as I watch the demise of this empire.
Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
Embarrassingly, I had to confront my NM one day over a silly allegation that was made by a rather dramatic co-worker. I was new, trying to strike up conversation and find common ground with some of my co-workers. We were talking about when we would have kids, how hard it is to be pregnant while nursing, etc, etc. This co-worker said, "You know that nurse with the blonde hair, everyone loves her, she works with Dr. X, I think her name starts with a J or something...you know who I mean!" I thought I did know who she meant, so I saw this nurse and asked her if she was expecting. OMG...THIRD WORLD WAR. It got blown WAY out of proportion, so I decided to head the disaster off at the pass and went to my NM to tell her the convo. I felt incredibly ridiculous sitting in her office relaying the story. She made me feel better by telling me that the co-worker that was spreading rumors was fired and that I should not feel bad about anything. I was relieved, but it also made me very disappointed to know that such a simple conversation could lead to such dramatic gossip. I now know to NOT discuss pregnancy. politics or religion at work. That was 13 years ago. It was a hard lesson to learn, but a very pointed one.
Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
Exactly, I agree. Kids especially aren't taught good manners today.
I had someone in the pre-Xmas rush barge past me in a hurry to get somewhere, and nearly knocked me over in the process. I managed to grabbed onto something and didn't fall, but if I had been very old, I could have slipped and broke a hip.
I never, ever push by people without saying excuse me or if I think they haven't heard me (or may be deaf), I lightly tap them on the shoulder, repeat my request or mimic what I want. I think it's so incredibly rude just to push by people.
In some hospitals I've worked at there are big signs in the nurses' break room saying u aren't allowed to gossip re patients or other staff members, but some people still do. I wonder if some of these break rooms have hidden cameras or recording devices?
I see the absence of manners in our young people today as well. I wonder often if it is because I am older or if it is because parenting is simply different in this day and age. I see kids run around the store, pushing people out of the way in their quest to get to the toy section and I am floored. My mother would have "ripped my lungs out through my nose" as she used to say. I guess times are different now. My parents believed in using the belt instead of a "time out", and we respected that. Nowadays, using a belt or any form of physical punishment is a criminal offense. My older brother used a rather different approach to discipline. He would make his kids read 20 pages of an American classic novel and then study the words that they didn't understand with a handy dictionary placed in their room. He would quiz them and know if they read the material or not.
I don't understand the lack of manners in our society today. Especially in our workplace.
I see the absence of manners in our young people today as well. I wonder often if it is because I am older or if it is because parenting is simply different in this day and age. I see kids run around the store, pushing people out of the way in their quest to get to the toy section and I am floored. My mother would have "ripped my lungs out through my nose" as she used to say. I guess times are different now. My parents believed in using the belt instead of a "time out", and we respected that. Nowadays, using a belt or any form of physical punishment is a criminal offense. My older brother used a rather different approach to discipline. He would make his kids read 20 pages of an American classic novel and then study the words that they didn't understand with a handy dictionary placed in their room. He would quiz them and know if they read the material or not.
I don't understand the lack of manners in our society today. Especially in our workplace.
How did your brother's kids respond to that discipline style? Sounds like a pretty good alternative to the belt.
A lesson that we have learned the hard way in South Africa is that "freedom" and "constitutional rights" are concepts that can only really work in a society which is well-educated and disciplined to start with. Once the yoke of draconian leadership was lifted, crime levels shot through the ceiling, drug and alcohol abuse amongst young people soared, respect for elders vanished in a puff of smoke and kids started dropping out of school at an alarming rate.
Keshia, what part of Africa does your young man come from? Here, the traditional culture which you describe is disappearing, partly due to lack of respect for such traditional values amongst the youth, and partly due to the fact that many "traditional" leaders are abusing their positions for personal gain. As I have already mentioned, respect for elders, which is the cornerstone of African tradition, is slowly becoming almost non-existent amongst our youth, abuse of women and children is rampant and the family unit is breaking down. Due to the ravages of AIDS, more and more families are headed by children orphaned by this scourge, and supported by grandparents with old-age pensions.
As I have mentioned before, nastiness in the workplace can usually be traced to one or two individuals with their own axes to grind, while the problems afflicting society are far more complex, but to a certain extent can be attributed to a lack of discipline, which in turn spawns disrespect.
After moving to a new region, I simply could not BELIEVE the way doctors, nurses and ancillary staff spoke to each other! I have never seen such rudeness in my life! So, I basically talk to no one other than professional conversations, no longer even attempt to socialize outside of work, and ignore ANY gossip I am privy to.
Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
How did your brother's kids respond to that discipline style? Sounds like a pretty good alternative to the belt.
A lesson that we have learned the hard way in South Africa is that "freedom" and "constitutional rights" are concepts that can only really work in a society which is well-educated and disciplined to start with. Once the yoke of draconian leadership was lifted, crime levels shot through the ceiling, drug and alcohol abuse amongst young people soared, respect for elders vanished in a puff of smoke and kids started dropping out of school at an alarming rate.
Keshia, what part of Africa does your young man come from? Here, the traditional culture which you describe is disappearing, partly due to lack of respect for such traditional values amongst the youth, and partly due to the fact that many "traditional" leaders are abusing their positions for personal gain. As I have already mentioned, respect for elders, which is the cornerstone of African tradition, is slowly becoming almost non-existent amongst our youth, abuse of women and children is rampant and the family unit is breaking down. Due to the ravages of AIDS, more and more families are headed by children orphaned by this scourge, and supported by grandparents with old-age pensions.
As I have mentioned before, nastiness in the workplace can usually be traced to one or two individuals with their own axes to grind, while the problems afflicting society are far more complex, but to a certain extent can be attributed to a lack of discipline, which in turn spawns disrespect.
GH, they are both graduating from HS with honors in May. I guess his style of discipline worked! I agree that core values should be instituted and recognized early in childhood. I am saddened by the downward spiral you describe in your culture. You are absolutely correct when you state so simply and powerfully that lack of discipline spawns disrespect.
The fact that the're graduating with honors only means that they did well in school, not that they're well-behaved.
My father-in-law raised 9 kids. He recently said "Some of them, we were nice to, some of them we beat the hell out of. It didn't make a bit of difference."
RondaG
1 Post
It is sad, but I do have to agree with the majority of these post. Women are just "catty" by nature and when you are in a career field that is mostly women, this is what you run into. I am at a point where I have been a nurse for only 2 and 1/2 years and I am considering another career change because the backstabbing and lack of team work between nurses is so sad. I work with nurses that try so hard to get even with each other that it consumes them, and really the only people that suffer are the patients. I see why there is a nationwide shortage of nurse because people get tired of dealing with it after a while. I know I am.