Topic: Venting in Private?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

It's been awhile since I've been on, just thought I would say Hi to everyone.

I've been going through some tough times lately, and thought I would come in and say hello.

Just a thought too....I know that we have ALL vented on occasion, and sometimes this is the only place that you can get someone to listen, or find someone that understands what you may be going through. Seems harmless enough, bad day at work, come home, vent online to your online friends, good way to get your feelings out, and before you know it, you've taken up a whole page, mostly because it feels good to get your feelings out, just by typing them on the keyboard. Vent about co-workers, pts, families, whatever the case may be. Using a Username, we don't really identify ourselves. But maybe someone looks at all of your posts, and puts the information together, that one time you say your from Missouri, then one time you say you have 3 kids, well you get the picture. Fellow co-workers could actually find a post on here, such as the one that I posted in September when I walked out of my job, they could copy it, and then take it to work with them, and share it with your old comrads, maybe even have a laugh about it. Your personal feelings, sharing them with your fellow nurses online that understand what you are going through, taken back to your previous place of employment to be viewed by all, refeuling a fire that should have been out so long ago.

Oh it could happen, and it did, just recently. After not working at this place for 7 months, my original post, my venting, was recently copied and taken there for all to see.

Sometimes when you vent, you don't even mean half of what you say, or later.............MAYBE 7 months later, your feelings have changed, your heart is not as hardened, you've gone through some really crappy times, especially since being unemployed for so long, and pounding the pavement for a job, just to be turned down time and time again, getting ready to lose your home, losing your heat in your house, going to food pantries and other places getting assistance just to stay alive, so different from the world you knew before. Maybe after someone has been through these things, maybe the stop holding grudges and just try to survive.

It sickens me that anything I ever posted here has ended up there. It just sickens me. I know its a public board, I know complete strangers read what I post, but to be sought out, especially after so long, well it just makes no since to me. A fellow co-worker that I thought of as a friend, has been doing her math, put 2 and 2 together and came up with ME. Little ole me all the way out here in Cyber nursing world. Am I wrong to be so upset? Am I just venting? I guess I just don't like being the topic of their conversations, again. I hope that if your reading this, and you know who you are, that you feel ashamed of what you have done, and think before doing next time.

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

I had thought about that when i first signed up here. Marie's not actually my first name (it's half of a hyphenated first name). The majority of the time if i refer to a pt., i change the sex and the age. I also wait 2-3 weeks before i talk about a pt. i've run across.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Yes you should be upset. That was very cruel to share personal feelings like that. That person should have come to you to talk with you about it if they had concerns.

No, they are not a friend.

How awful. Sounds exactly like some of the evil ones I have to work with. I have been pretty descripive too. Somehow, though, I doubt the ones who are giving me trouble are much into learning more about this field or into finding solutions to things going on. THey are more into creating problems and learning more about new co-workers so they can create problems for them...just like the desperate x-co-worker who did this to you. Shame on them!

but..what goes around comes around :rotfl:

Can you imagine if they responded to your post! :uhoh3:

K

Wow, how incredibly pathetic that the individual who did this to you has absolutely nothing better in his/her life to do than drag your name through the mud!! You have every right to be angry about this!

((((((Hugs))))) and prayers to you!

Specializes in Gerontological, cardiac, med-surg, peds.

There are two instances that I can recall in which nurses who shared on this bb suffered professional harm. One was an OB nurse (this was about 4-5 yrs ago, if I remember correctly) who was VERY vocal about work concerns at her hospital and was blackballed after coworkers "discovered" her postings on this bb. She changed her username after the fact, but it was too late. Another more recent incident involved a med surg nurse who was transferring to an ICU unit and was sharing about some of her experiences there. Again, her posts were "discovered" by not-so-supportive coworkers and she was severely chastised for "breach of patient confidentiality."

Both posters suffered severe professional repercussions.

I know it is not right, but it is a cold cruel world out there and nurses can be some of the cruelest.

Again (and I am speaking to myself foremost), beware. :crying2:

Thanks again for all of the support and prayers that I knew I would find here. I wanted to get the message to her, as well as just suggest to be more careful. I looked at all of my posts, I never have mentioned any particulars about anyone from this job, or about myself, but as I said I did vent a whole page worth of information about the day I walked out and how I had felt I was wronged.

The main thing is, I have accepted the fact, after all this time that I was partly to blame for the events that lead up to my leaving. I think I had probably gotten "too big for my britches" so to speak, and maybe a little full of myself. When I walked out I fully expected them to beg me back, and that didn't happen. I guess I thought I couldn't be replaced. I miss working, I miss being a nurse and loved doing MDS's and Careplans. After 7 months and no return calls from resumes and applications, I am beginning to feel as though I will never be a nurse again. People are telling me to just apply at Wal-Mart, or wherever, just to get some money coming in, and I hate to even think of that, not that its beneath me, but just because of what nursing means to me. I got into this profession because of my oldest sister. She was an LPN, and was so caring and so patient, she was just a wonderful person. I would see her with her residents, and just be amazed at how wonderful she was, and what wonderful things she was doing. She taught me everything that I know, my first job was working right along side of her, and I felt I couldn't have learned from anyone better. (She also taught me that if there is drainage, its prulent drainage, not pussy drainage as I once charted right after graduation lol) She is no longer with us, she passed away in June of 2001, from a 2 yr battle with breast cancer, and I miss her dearly. I am the baby of the family and she was the oldest and was like mother to me. And in some silly way, I feel like I would be letting her down, if I never return to nursing again, I feel that a part of her is with me when I am out there with those patients and sharing compassion with them. God I miss her so much....I"m sorry, just a bit emotional after all of this has taken place. The loss of my job has really put a hurt on my family, and sent me into depression, for a long time after I had quit, I would have dreams of them calling me and asking me to come back, and I would hope that one day the phone would ring and they would say, "Well, we miss you, its been long enough, why don't you come on back. It was the best place I had ever worked, the relationship with the co-workers was wonderful, I looked forward to going to work, and new that my sister would be proud of me that I had an office, and a desk and a phone, and all that silly stuff that goes with it. I don't know what went wrong. I had my daughter in February, and my panic attacks got worse. I was afraid to bond with her because I had a horrible fear that she was going to die. I was put on medication, Effexor and Xanax. It seemed to help, but I didn't realize until reading an article about these drugs that they could cause irrational behavior. I had tons of withdrawal symptoms and was again miserable. I don't think I would have walked out of my job if I hadn't been on this medication. (Boy I'm really putting it all out there now huh? Oh well, they know who I am now, so it doesn't matter huh? LOL)I live in a small town, I because of my panic attacks and am terrified to drive on the highways, so I limit myself to the few surrounding towns, to look for employment and nothing is happening. I just didn't need this right now, I was even thinking of humbling myself and going to ask my former manager if I could be rehired. (Just be nice to the girls working in the drive thru windows at MC Donald's you never know it might be me, lol. )

Its just ridiculous that this had to happen at this time. Someone mentioned, trying to talk to my old manager about it, I guess after the person copied it and took it to work, the manager was the one that was letting everyone read it...so there you go there...

I'm not a vengeful person, so I wouldn't try legal action. With all that I am going through I still try to remain upbeat, keep my sense of humor, and trust in God that we will make it through this trying time. I just want to be a nurse, do what I Love, make people laugh and be able to provide for my family. Sorry to VENT so much, its just that finding this out, has set my therapy back a few months :uhoh3:

I have a tendancy to only come to this BB when I have a problem, and even though I'm not a REG, I still feel so welcome, and I appreciate that so much right now, you just don't even know. Instead of playing that silly Roller Coaster Tycoone game I"m hooked on, I"m gonna spend more time in here. It's definately a place for healing, thanks for those broad shoulders.......

Specializes in Endocrinology.

i had my daughter in february, and my panic attacks got worse. i was afraid to bond with her because i had a horrible fear that she was going to die. i was put on medication, effexor and xanax. it seemed to help, but i didn't realize until reading an article about these drugs that they could cause irrational behavior. i had tons of withdrawal symptoms and was again miserable. i don't think i would have walked out of my job if i hadn't been on this medication. (boy i'm really putting it all out there now huh? oh well, they know who i am now, so it doesn't matter huh? lol)i live in a small town, i because of my panic attacks and am terrified to drive on the highways, so i limit myself to the few surrounding towns, to look for employment and nothing is happening.

i had panic attacks after i had my second daughter also. i got on prozac and it has helped me get through school and manage my household. i too counldn't get in my car and drive on an interstate highway because i feared that i would break down or get a flat tire and i had my baby with me and no one would stop to help. you must get back on something to help you get your life back so you can drive further if you have to. you will die in that small town and the problem with small towns (i live in one too) is that everybody knows everybody and you just feel smothered by all the same surrondings.

stay with us, the support here is really great. :)

It is awful that someone would do such a thing. Unfortunately, I've also seen cases where people put 2 and 2 together and come up with 5.

I mean I've seen people so SURE that what they heard and read had to be related to themselves in some way and were totally wrong. They just THINK they have all the background they need.

Wow, thanks for the words of warning. I guess I thought we were all anonomous here and felt safe in talking about past experience and concerns. How very sad that your coworkers were not on the honor system as we all feel we are. I would never resort to taking someones words and using them that way. I hope and pray you find what you are looking for. There has to be a job that needs someone like you. I pray God places it in your past very soon. ((((((((((((((HUGS to you))))))))))))))))).

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

This has been an issue on this BB. I know of at least one person that was fired when someone from her workplace, identified her posts on this BB.

Nothing on the Internet is ever private and don't expect it to be.

Nursie30, you're a nurse.

That is not a state of employment, but a state of being.

That CANNOT be taken away from you.

Get out of that small town. I once thought I would never get another nursing job, also; for different reasons, but I have had jobs all over the country offered to me.

It's a big, bright world out there.

:balloons:

Nursie30 ~ I am so sorry this happened to you. {{{hugs}}}

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