Too quiet to be a nurse?

[haileyjewell]

Today was the worst day I've had so far in nursing school. I admit that I'm not a very outgoing person, but I'm great with my patient's. I'm able to communicate with my patient's and the nursing staff at clinicals without a problem. However, today my instructor had a conversation with me and asked me "do you even have any friends"? I told her that no I haven't made any close friends but I do talk to different people in my class. She then told me that I am very strange and that makes her question herself about me. That it was weird and I seem like a very cold person. I couldn't really talk after this. I was very upset because I've never thought of myself as a bad person. She proceeded to tell me I need to break down my wall but she's not my psychiatrist. I feel so discouraged and I'm beginning to think maybe I don't have what it takes to be a nurse because I'm not very sociable with my class mates. I'm in my first semester. I just prefer to keep to myself. Does this make me a bad person?

[athrun340]

wow that was rude. You should have told her to mind her own business. I'm on a quiet side as well. I like to listen/act rather than talk and socialized. Anyway, don't let her remarks discouraged you. Just finish nursing school and get your license. Being quiet does not make you a bad nurse. I know a nurse who is very quiet. She's very soft spoken and doesn't really socialize with her coworkers that much. She just goes to work and get her job done but guess what.. she's very excellent with patient and communicating pt's conditions to the doctors. she's also a charge nurse on a busy tele floor. She's a great charge nurse and everyone respects her. She's currently in the process of getting her PhD in nursing.

anyway my advice to OP is you can be quiet but don't be shy. Speak up if you need to and speak confidently. You can do it!

[HelloWish, ADN, BSN]

OP - This says way more about your instructor and her personal inadequacy than it does about you. That she has no sense of social etiquette and doesn't seem to know how to communicate appropriately to a student, speaks volumes. Asking you to open up and be more outgoing is one thing, being quiet and reserved is not at all bad, and telling you it is strange or weird seems just totally weird and inappropriate to me!

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

INAPPROPRIATE - IMO, that instructor has "boundary issues" & apparently insufficient knowledge of the legal ramifications of this type of interaction with a student. Teacher-student interactions should be focused on academic performance issues. The ONLY situation I can think of in which this type of conversation would be appropriate would be if OP was studying to become a psychotherapist. The student's personality does is not relevant unless it is affecting academic performance; even then, the instructor should refer the student to an appropriate resource who is qualified to address those issues.

There seems to be a prevailing myth that introverts are somehow inferior.... nothing could be farther from the truth. Take a look at this article for more info The Benefits of Being an Introvert | Psych Central . My advice to OP? Stay authentic. We value your low-key, measured and thoughtful & insightful approach to patient care. Your ability to remain calm in the midst of all the 'drama' and confusion is a wonderful asset.

[i♥words]

Why are people always hatin' on introverts? If they could see what the world would be like with only extroverts, they would change their tune. I am in my first semester of nursing school and I already see how my introvert qualities really help me care for patients. For instance, I've always preferred listening over talking, and almost every patient I've encountered needs someone who will listen without comment. I don't have but a couple of close friends in my life (none from school). What is so wrong with that?

If your instructor is commenting on you and not your interaction with patients, then that instructor is out of line. True, this probably isn't the last time someone says something rude to you, but that doesn't mean you should continue to let your instructor speak to you this way. I would document the incident and if it happens a couple more times, follow the chain of command and find someone to talk to about it. Chances are you aren't the only one she's called "strange."

[nyandy]

I'm not going to add anything new because it has been stated over and over that her approach was completely unprofessional and rude. I'm another one that doesn't hang out with fellow students, nor do I participate in study groups (cant learn too much in a large group) I have 2 active children and a home to take care of so I have minimal free time. I am very warm hearted and most patients thank me for my care and kindness. Other than that i smile, and minimal small talk.

As a nurse you seek info with open ended questions and do alot of listening.

Clinical instructors, will come and go. Some are wonderful teachers, some can't be bothered, and a few are down right mean and unprofessional (for a reason I can't figure out).

Smile, participate when you have meaningful info or opinion to add and tell them to have a lovely day when you leave. When you get to the car you can mutter any swear word you want. :)

Don't let anyone, even an instructor strip you of any confidence you may have BECAUSE if you allow it you won't succeed (without being over zealous).

PS: Its Friday so grab a glass of wine and grab a nursing book. Love my weekend cram sessions.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

or

I hear you entirely...and now you have an opportunity to take that feedback and do something positive with it. It's probably nice to hear that everyone else thinks your instructor is wrong and mean and has no business saying any such thing to you. I will absolutely grant you that she was not using her best therapeutic communication technique to express concerns about your socialization (which is, for better or ill, art of working in a team environment). Be an introvert, that's fine. But just as we all try to recognize areas for improvement, you can too. So she was inappropriate. Yep. But did she sorta have a point? Think on that after you look at this amazing video and see what this introvert has accomplished.

[The_Optimist]

Your instructor is an insensitive bully! If she knew as much as she professed to know, she would understand that there are different kinds of personalities. Going by what you have written up there, you are simply an introvert. I cannot definitely speak to the depths of your introversion but that is what you read to be.

Be polite to your instructor but DO NOT let her "self-talk" affect you. You will blossom as you get comfortable with your surroundings. Your instructor knows no better.

Read more here; Quiet: The Power of Introverts - By Susan Cain and above as Greentea already sweetly suggested:)

[nurseladybug12]

One time I was doing a female catheter validation in front of an instructor and I was very nervous, she rudely pointed out that my face was flushed and said " it's getting redder by the second!" I think some people are just purposely evil. I am a shy person also, I did not socialize much in nursing school and I got a few comments from teachers about how that would hold me back and it was also discouraging. After a year on the job, I can say that I dont feel all that shy anymore and your patients will appreciate a gentler approach to communication that a "shy" nurse can provide. Sometimes people are better with one on one interaction. Do not let those jerks discourage you.

[nurseladybug12]

Famous introverts:

Bill Gates

Abraham Lincoln

Julia Roberts

Tom Hanks

Stephen Spielberg

Steve martin

Angelina jolie

Gwyneth Paltrow

Meryl Streep

Diane Keaton

Michelle Pfeiffer

Kristen Stewart

J.K. Rowling

Barbara Walters

David Letterman

Johnny Depp

Michael Jordan

Al Gore

Clint Eastwood

Harrison Ford

Barbara Streisand

All these wildly successful actors are shy and yet they are successful, hmmmm , I dont think you should let it hold you back.

[UCAFblue]

Your instructor was completely rude and insensitive, as everyone else has pointed out. I think it is her, not you, that needs to re-evaluate whether or not she has what it takes to be a nurse. One has to wonder if she acts in this same judgmental manner with her patients behind their backs. I'm similar to you in that I've always been on the quieter side...been that way ever since I can remember, and I can't stand that society seems to have such a negative view of shy people.

I had a similar situation in my first clinical rotation in nursing school. My clinical instructor told my professor that I seemed a bit quiet...I don't think she ever meant for it to go any farther than that, but my professor took that and wrote an entire "letter of concern" about it. It then went in my file at the school and followed me to my clinical rotations the following semester (the letter was only valid for one semester following when it was written, unless someone was to add to it) where my new clinical instructors received a copy of the letter. It was such a blow to my confidence to have all of this attention placed on how they thought my personality was a "problem." I've never had issues interacting with other staff and patients - as others have said, most patients actually responded positively to my more calm/quieter approach. I got through school just fine after that, and you will too. I know it's hard, but don't let this experience sour your view of nursing. There are people out there who will be your future patients, and they'll be thankful to have you as their nurse. :)

[Clementia]

You don't have to be bubbly to be a good nurse. I am someone to whom the ideal vacation would be a solo stay on a desert island. Lots of patients have complimented me for being a wonderful nurse -- because I listened to them attentively and didn't say much. Patients love people like you!

[thecareerchanger, BSN]

I am pre nursing student (changing careers) but I was always shy and somewhat introverted but that has affected my career in human services. I would guess the same would be said about me when the time comes? I really don't see what being shy and quiet has to do with being a good nurse (or even good person) honestly esp. since you already mentioned you already do well with patients and other staff. Her comment was tactless and nonconstructive to say the least