Too quiet to be a nurse?

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Today was the worst day I've had so far in nursing school. I admit that I'm not a very outgoing person, but I'm great with my patient's. I'm able to communicate with my patient's and the nursing staff at clinicals without a problem. However, today my instructor had a conversation with me and asked me "do you even have any friends"? I told her that no I haven't made any close friends but I do talk to different people in my class. She then told me that I am very strange and that makes her question herself about me. That it was weird and I seem like a very cold person. I couldn't really talk after this. I was very upset because I've never thought of myself as a bad person. She proceeded to tell me I need to break down my wall but she's not my psychiatrist. I feel so discouraged and I'm beginning to think maybe I don't have what it takes to be a nurse because I'm not very sociable with my class mates. I'm in my first semester. I just prefer to keep to myself. Does this make me a bad person?

Be strong! They try to "weed out the herd" all through nursing school. Just continue to study, pass your tests and move on. The best revenge for negativity is to prove them wrong!! One day it will just be a memory. Believe in yourself!!

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First, why do you automatically assume there is something wrong with you?

Develop your self-confidence and self-esteem and these kinds of things won't even bother you. I have always been a little different and a little introverted. Doesn't make me stupid, anti-social, or a bad nurse. It won't hurt you either. But you will definitely need to "grow some ****s" and realize that people who speak to you that way are being inappropriate.

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Wasn't there someone last week who was too bubbly to be a nurse? Perhaps this forum should be called "All Drama Queens" the way some people carry on. Honestly people, you need to develop a strong self concept and ignore the rude and ignorant. If they are incorrect or inappropriate, call them on it. Asking what they mean in a mildy interested voice with a neutral expression will get you useful information, let them know they have crossed a line and show you as being willing and able to receive feedback.

Do you think engineers, accountants, motor mechanics et al go through this sort of interpersonal angst? Life is too short.

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Her opinion on your social life isn't important. Maybe she would rather you get fall down drunk every weekend, cause that would certainly make you more social. Plus nurses are weird people anyway, that's why they're the best!

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I don't that you are a bad person and I don't believe that because you did not make you a slue of friends doesn't make you anti social. Everyone doesn't have to be a social butterfly to be a nurse. As long as you care about people and respect your patients and coworkers you are fine. Please don't let her opinion discourage you. That is all it is an opinion, not a fact. You decided to become a nurse for a reason and I am sure it did not involve her or anyone else's opinion. So stay focused. Stay determined and keep your head held high. Just know that you have a purpose and don't let anyone or anything stop you from achieving your purpose. Gain all you can from your instructor and be the best that you know you can be. Good luck! You can do it!

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What a horrible faculty member she is! I can totally relate to you, I am the same way. You are there to better the patient and also for you to have a career you enjoy. Don't be discouraged, you are an honest and good person! More people and nurses should be like you. :yes:

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That teacher is an insensitive ----- Who the hell cares if you're making BFFs in nursing school or not? She needs to mind her own damn business. If you think you will enjoy being a nurse and be good at it, politely ignore her and do your thing, girl.

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Specializes in CVICU, CCRN.

Your instructor was way out of line. As long as you are able to communicate effectively and appropriately with patients/staff nurses/other students, then there is no reason that she should be commenting on that.

What if you had a mild case of Asberger's Syndrome or Autism? Quite honestly, if I were you, I would bring this discussion up with a staff member within the school of nursing to try to cover your butt. It would be a terrible thing if this instructor tries to fail you because she doesn't like the fact that you are an introvert.

Also, her comments were far from professional.

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That doesn't make you a bad person at all! That makes her a bad instructor! Instructors are suppose to help a person grow, not hinder them. Don't give up because then she'll win. There will always be an instructor that gets under your skin. I have one of those now. I just keep telling myself "three more weeks." Part of it is a game, and you just have to nod your head and play nice. I have a classmate in my group that's EXTREMELY quiet. She'll barely even ask the instructor a question; I've only heard her ask one. She's one of my closest friends! She's really really really quiet, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't have a lot to offer. She's one of the most intelligent students there if you take the time to get to know her.

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I'm introverted myself! I'm not shy in the least, it's just that in order for me to rest and "recharge", I need alone time. Especially if I've been interacting with people all day. I've been told by people who don't know me that I'm aloof or "cold". If you know me, I'm actually usually pretty warm and affectionate. As said before, that was very unprofessional.

Don't worry about being an introvert, it's who you are! My question is, though, are you speaking up in classes and whatnot? Maybe that's what the instructor meant to say, although she chose the WORST possible way to say it.

You'll be great. Many, many, many people would rather have someone listen to them than have someone talk at them. (And a LOT of people like talking about themselves.) Being a listening ear is a GOOD thing.

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I don't know if you are still looking at these posts, but I had a very similar situation happen to me. Not one, but two of my instructors in nursing school told me I was too quiet and didn't ask enough questions! I felt like they were attacking my character and my personality as well. What exactly is too quiet? As long as my patients are being care-for, and I'm learning the material that should have been all they were concerned with. These nursing instructors were Type-A, aggressive personalities and they just didn't see that someone could be different from them and still be a good nurse. Well, I am a great nurse! I did not ask questions, but I did not have any. I knew my material without needing to ask additional questions. I graduated a 16 month BSN program with a 4.0! I have been a RN for 4 years and will be attending a nurse practitioner program in the fall. Do not let those instructors get you down! They are not doing their job as a teacher by saying those things. You will be a great nurse, not matter what those insecure instructors say!

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It is sad that we live in a society which is not only made for extroverts, but prejudiced against introverts. I am an introverted person and am studying to be a nurse. I get along with people very well, but I think before I speak. I have never been one to be chatty and bubbly. As long as you are able to communicate clearly and provide emotional support to your patients, you do not need to be outgoing or extroverted to be a nurse. If anything, I consider my introversion to be one of my greatest strengths. Do not become disheartened by these comments. Keep studying and practice communicating with your patients and colleagues.

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