To stay or to go

Published

  1. should i leave or just stay

    • 1
      go for it
    • 14
      stay and wait till you all go back to the states

15 members have participated

Hello everyone!

Okay just to give a quick introduction about myself and maybe that can help with some of the feedback and questions I am going to ask. im 25yrs old with 3 children ages 7,2,and 3 months. My husband is currently in the military so right now we are all the way in Japan. I have always been interested in starting a career as a registered nurse. my husband supports my dream that soon one day will be reality lol. well these past couple of weeks i have been wanting to start getting my college pre-reqs done and all the basic things that it takes to even apply to nursing school. WELL my husband came up with an idea that i go back to the states by myself and enroll in the school that i had already looked into because they have a nursing program that i can go to and just focus on myself and my goals and our kiddos will stay with him. i was a little hesitant about the whole idea at first because i know i will pretty much be gone for like 3 years and that's a lot but he has reminded me that i can always come back when i have off of school and there's always skype and stuff of that nature. i thought about it and i think i wanna do it but it wont happen till next year int he fall. now my question is basically do you think i should do it?

That, for me personally, would be too long away from my children. I was able to complete all of my prerequisites other than the sciences online, while working full-time. In your position, I would do that, and then just have to take the science classes on-campus when your whole family returns to the States.

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Specializes in ED, Medicine, Case Management.

You can still consider online classes because most schools will allow you to proctor your exams for those that require you to take them in person. Usually proctoring takes place at a college, school, or library that is local to you. It is worth looking into. And really, most classes will not require you to take exams in person, so you can at least get started on those classes online. Good luck to you.

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You can certainly do classes online. We had a lady who was stationed in Japan and went to our community college. She took her tests at a local college there. The instructors sent the tests to her preceptor at the college. Get your prerequisites out of the way first before crossing the big pond. Good luck!

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Thank you for replying and telling me that! I'm actually looking to do classes with southern New Hampshire university. I will call the school that I'm going to transfer to just to make sure I can transfer whatever credits I get out here.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I have kids and am a few years older than you. Honestly, I wouldn't, and you probably won't finish. Being away from kids that little for that long is just not worth getting your degree a little earlier. That's A LOT of time to miss of their childhood. Like others have said, you could totally get all your prerequisites and general ed out of the way and be super ready when you get back to the states.

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I don't have children, but I would never leave my children for that length of time. They are so young and they need their mom! You can always start the prereqs online and take the other courses once you get back to America. Maybe it's just me, but I would look at my husband sideways if he suggested that I take an extended leave of absence to another country, especially with children so young. I know military families are used to long separations, but to me I would have a problem that he even suggested it. I don't want to paint him in a certain light, since I don't know him. But based on my background, I would never be okay with a long voluntary separation from a spouse. No shade lol!

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I have to agree with most people here. I couldn't leave my kids (4 and 1) for that long. Maybe 6 months, but for the entirety of a nursing program. Never. However if I were you I would work on not just the prerequisites, but start working on non nursing core classes for a bachelor's degree, you know the history and management and religion/sociology classes. That way by the time you do come to the states you could go straight for your bachelor's and have pretty much nothing but nursing classes to complete.

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I don't have children, but I would never leave my children for that length of time. They are so young and they need their mom! You can always start the prereqs online and take the other courses once you get back to America. Maybe it's just me, but I would look at my husband sideways if he suggested that I take an extended leave of absence to another country, especially with children so young. I know military families are used to long separations, but to me I would have a problem that he even suggested it. I don't want to paint him in a certain light, since I don't know him. But based on my background, I would never be okay with a long voluntary separation from a spouse. No shade lol!

No shade taken lol. Trust me I looked at him crazy as well but I already told him I wasn't leaving. But thanks for responding to my post :)

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Specializes in Hospitalist Medicine.

Personally, I would wait until you are all back I'm the States as a family. I have been a long distance Mom and it is excruciatingly difficult to be away from your child. And mine was a lot older than yours. He was finishing up 8th grade so he didn't have to switch schools during the school year. It KILLED me being away from him. It was hard on him, too. It was only for that school year. 3 years would be incredibly difficult. I can't imagine putting younger children through that, especially an infant.

As you take your pre-reqs, you will have to take a course on human growth & development and you will see just how important it is for your little ones to have the security of having Mom available and getting the nurturing they need.

Having to wait a year or so is a drop in the bucket time-wise in the grand scheme of things. I know you're anxious to get started right now, but think about the long term here, especially with your kids. Look in to alternatives in your location. Most military bases offer college courses. Knock out all the non-lab pre-reqs that you can like English, Algebra, Psychology, Growth/Development, Nutrition, Pharmacology, etc.

Good luck :)

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There's no way I could leave my husband or kids for 3 years (even with visiting frequently). I would take classes that can be applied to a nursing program (english, algebra, sociology etc) and that way the time in Japan isn't 'wasted' time in terms of missing out on going to school. Just my $0.02

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Thank you everyone for all of your positive advice and information. I'm really glad I didn't get the feedback of how a bad mom I would be if I did consider it lol. So thanks a lot

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