Tired and burnt out from the abuse

[NurseK93, LPN]

On 11/16/2019 at 6:16 PM, Kooky Korky said:

I am sorry you are having trouble and hope things improve soon.

In truth, of course, no one really cares about your personal troubles, such as your fiance having to sleep alone, least of all your patients. You shouldn't expect them to.

You didn't have to stand there for her whole tirade. Nor do you have to keep working where you do or at the bedside. Look around and find some other specialty.

Honestly, though, I'd have been angry at you, too, if you tried to tell me to not bother you because it's 2 a.m. and you'd just been in and found me asleep, and I was bothering other people by using my bell, no matter how nicely you had said it.

You need to come to an understanding that people just are not at their best when they are sick, afraid, lonely, and probably confused. It seems that pt didn't understand the situation with her primary nurse being on break.

Use commas and paragraphs.

Good luck.

I don’t recall saying that anyone, or my patients should care about my “personal troubles”. But as you said, they are ‘personal’ and what I feel about me and my life.

I also enjoyed how you edited your original comment where you started off by saying no one should care about my personal troubles, but then continued on about how premarital sex is ungodly and I should not be living with my fiancée as if that was the bigger issue here.

Thanks for your input.

[NurseK93, LPN]

On 11/16/2019 at 7:03 PM, NightNerd said:

However, from what I'm reading, you essentially told the woman to stop bothering you. Using the call bell is how we want patients to contact us. Like, it's understandable that you were annoyed, just having checked on her five minutes before and found her sleeping. But this is part of the job, and I'm not sure that was the best battle to pick at 2 AM.

I agree 100%. I’m not going to sit here and say that I handled that the best way I could have. But that’s a lot of the thing that has been frustrating/bothering me as well. I see my patience wearing thinner and thinner. Am I proud to admit that? No. Of course not. But I’m just being honest. I’m only human too and the anxiety and frustration is very real.

[Trudi Smith, RN]

I don't think you lost your temper. Patients do need to understand call-bell etiquette. If it's an emergency or they truly need help, call. If not, go to bed. The other posters are enabling bad behavior. Hold patients to a standard or they will think anything goes. The way hospitals advertise today suggests that the hospital is some kind of hotel and that patients are customers - and the customer is always right. To some extent this is true, since a patient could choose to take their business elsewhere. But why should hospitals be desperate for their money anyway? Ethically speaking we are here to help patients, not placate them. If they are unwilling to accept the help, then they should find a place that will satisfy their misguided expectations. I hope that you will consider public health. It is a great field with so many opportunities to really impact people's lives for the better. In the hospital, we put bandaids on problems and pretend we've really accomplished something. In PH, we try to get to the crux of the problem and empower our patients to take care of their own health.

[brownbook]

I am the most theraputic, knows how to handle the worst patients, nurse you can imagine. Yet I've been in similar situations as yours.

In my case I brought what really were minor problems/stresses/worries from home to work. I do feel badly for you.

There are other units and hours you can work. Start looking around, applying for different jobs. I've met nurses (who did not have years of experience), working great jobs and hours. When asked how they got the job they said, "I didn't like working nights or med/surg so applied".

[MSO4foru, ADN]

So maybe I am again being the dissident here. ( clearing throat)... However, there is a lot to be said as to how Many ( again capital letters for emphasis) medical facilities advertise them selves cs how they are Staffed. Should the OP have been asking the pt if she was anxious, afraid- etc... things that could be resolved with anxiety meds or ( maybe) a chaplain visit- absolutely. Is it Ever ok to tell a pt ( under most circumstances) to stop using a call light?- NO. Do some/ a lot of pts need assurance- Yes. Do most pts understand what our sillly uniform colors mean - NO ( I don't care how many explanatory colors posters are posted). Most pts who are in an acute care setting are not there of their own choice- meaning : they know something is not right. And yeah, they are scared. At least.

Perhaps my question is where does upper management start taking some accountability for this? As more and more hospital systems are being bought by for profits who use " staffing grids" ( by the way, is my current understanding that as things sit right Now, every hospital in continental US will be under control of about 8-10 hospital chains within next 6-10 yrs) and whose goals are to make a profit by reducing supply cost And cutting labor cost, and well, any other cost they can think of, where does that leave these pts?

And I don't think that " the OP should find another job" is either a valid option now or will be in another couple years. I think as this *gig economy* gains speed, more and more of us who depend on our employers for things like health insurance, PTO, and retirement plans are going to find ourselves SOL.

Back to point- is some of this " just heathcare"- yes. Sorry, I don't mind that your finance had to sleep alone sometimes. My hubby has for the last nearly 20 yrs. Do I mind that some pts are on call lights Way more than actual physical needs are- well, no. That's part of the job. Do I care that you feel like you are failing because of a fractured system that is more dedicated to making money than serving pt needs- ABSOLUTELY.

Sadly I think is becoming a more widespread problem. And if answer to it was as simple as getting another job, most of us on this forum would be working at same facility.

[Estateboy, RN, EMT-P]

Yep enjoy the wine. Some pt's have a "Holiday Inn" mentality where you are there to serve them and some pt's don't. You and I have had both and and we will have again..

[NightNerd, MSN, RN]

I've totally been there. Sometimes you do feel yourself losing patience and motivation, and it sucks! It's really sad to watch yourself change like this because of work-related stress. That's why it's so important to look out for yourself, which is why I say use as much PTO as possible and remember who you are outside of work. If nights are making it even harder to deal, maybe consider transferring to days; just know that the patients and families will all be awake and clamoring to have their needs met. If you've been on that unit for a while and feel it's time to try something different, you can do that too! There's no right or wrong, it's just about what will work for you and allow you to take the best care of your patients.

Ultimately, bear in mind that these 36 hours per week are not your real life, even if some of themare awful. You are going home to a fiance and, I assume, other loved ones and various hobbies and possessions that bring you joy. If you can keep this in mind, while also remembering that for your patients this very much IS real life, you may buy yourself some time from burning out.

[SmilingBluEyes]

The day a larger number of hospitals/clinics enforce a "no abuse policy" and support their staff in cases where abuse occurs, will be the day they never have to worry about a "nurse shortage" again. People will be lined up to work these places.

Enough already. We are not punching bags!

[brownbook]

On 11/17/2019 at 12:56 PM, SmilingBluEyes said:

The day a larger number of hospitals/clinics enforce a "no abuse policy" and support their staff in cases where abuse occurs, will be the day they never have to worry about a "nurse shortage" again. People will be lined up to work these places.

Enough already. We are not punching bags!

To call this abuse is over exaggerating. The patient didn't threaten physical harm or even use foul language. Yes the patient was extremely over the top annoying. Yes the patient shouldn't have become irate, condescending, call the nurse incompetent, insubordinate, has no business being in this profession, belittling the nurse, etc.

This is an obviously sick (or she wouldn't be in an acute care hospital) immature woman with lots of issues.

The Nurse is, should be considered, a highly trained, educated, "professional". I have handled such situations badly. But I realized it as I was doing it, knew I was worried, stressed out from issues at home (nothing serious). To this day I still cringe when I remember it.

Dismissing a patient's complaints, telling a patient not to use the call bell unless it's urgent because it is 2 am, telling a patient they are disrupting other patients. If you don't realize that is absolutely not the way to handle this situation I can't help you.

Better staffing ratios are a concrete way to help stressed out over worked nurses.

And as far as I hear and read, there is not a nursing shortage.

[NurseK93, LPN]

Thank your for all of your replies.

As I had mentioned in a previous comment reply, yes I 100% agree that I did not handle this in the best way I could have. But that is also a lot of what I am trying to say. I am tired, stressed and feel worn thin being at the bedside. And I do think in the end it is having a negative result on the care I am able to provide from my patients. No one likes to admit that, but even though we are nurses, we are still all human.

And this was just the instance that really got to me and felt like 'sent me over the edge'. Of course there are a million other things that have been piling up to that moment. Working short, pts getting more and more acute. Trying to take of said acute pts mixed with extremely confused/combative patients. No PSWs where I work. No unit clerk after 7pm. Budget cuts.

I commend you all who seem to have no issue maintaining your patience and professionalism all 12 hours of your shifts every single day. Truly.

[brownbook]

1 hour ago, NurseK93 said:

I commend you all who seem to have no issue maintaining your patience and professionalism all 12 hours of your shifts every single day. Truly.

Hooray for me, the first time I used the quote icon...whoopee.

Anyway NurseK93....a nurse who says they have no issue maintaining their patience and professionalism all 12 hours every day is lying.....just as much as any nurse who says they never made a medication error.

I mentioned several times that I really blew it badly once. Of course my supervisor, who is an idiot, (we all disliked her and she especially disliked me), was walking by And certainly more than once I wasn't as patient and professional as I could have been.

[mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN]

On 11/16/2019 at 6:16 PM, Kooky Korky said:

I am sorry you are having trouble and hope things improve soon.

In truth, of course, no one really cares about your personal troubles, such as your fiance having to sleep alone, least of all your patients. You shouldn't expect them to.

You didn't have to stand there for her whole tirade. Nor do you have to keep working where you do or at the bedside. Look around and find some other specialty.

Honestly, though, I'd have been angry at you, too, if you tried to tell me to not bother you because it's 2 a.m. and you'd just been in and found me asleep, and I was bothering other people by using my bell, no matter how nicely you had said it.

You need to come to an understanding that people just are not at their best when they are sick, afraid, lonely, and probably confused. It seems that pt didn't understand the situation with her primary nurse being on break.

Use commas and paragraphs.

Good luck.

What if they won't sign?

They have no choice. No one has never NOT signed it.