Threatened by Patient Family

[Susan9608]

While helping a co-worker (so she could eat lunch) I was threatened by a patient's family; they made specific, violent treats towards me. I immediately reported this to my supervisor and one of our managers, plus the MD available in the unit.

The solution was to have this family therapist (who had been working with the family) come down and speak to them. She wanted to be "gentle" with them, since they are having a stressful time, and said she would approach the issue "through the back door." What she ended up saying to the family was that their "guy talk" was too much for the "young ladies" in the unit, and that they need to tone it down.

I was very upset. When I got home, I told my family about this situation, and my husband is incensed. He feels like they didn't take the situation seriously at all, and that at the very least, security should have been called, if not the police.

I don't feel particularly safe there, and my husband is concerned for my safety as well. There are no metal detectors at my hospital, plus security wasn't even made aware of the potential for a problem. But as far as my unit is concerned, the matter was taken care of by the therapist telling the family to "tone it down."

The therapist said that if the threats continue, she'll have a "family conference" with them to tell them it's not appropriate to talk to the staff that way.

I think this is all BS - that they are catering to this family at the expense of their staff. I'm ****** and fearful of these people, given what they said they want to do to me (and all of our nurses.) My husband doesn't want me to go back there unless the family is dealt with a little more stringently and unless security is at least notified that these people are a potential problem.

I don't know what to do ... if I should talk to my manager again or if we should go to security ourselves or what. Anyone been in this situation before? Thoughts?

[lindarn]

I didn't have to worry about getting another job after I was assaulted on the job and stalked and harassed by another person in the course of my employment. After insuring that I understood that I was the problem and that these men could do what they pleased, my employer saw that I didn't work for them anymore. They even blessed me by insuring that I wouldn't work for anyone else. My solution: weapon of choice. To hell with the employer.

I hope that you retained an attorney and sued the pants off of them. That is all that these people understand. I truly feel that nurses do not know how to stand up and assert their rights, using our legal system. Make no mistake, your employer would not give a second thought to bringing legal action against you, if they thought that they could get away with it. JMHO and my NY $0.02.

Lindarn, RN, BSN, CCRN

Spokane, Washington

[caliotter3]

I hope that you retained an attorney and sued the pants off of them. That is all that these people understand. I truly feel that nurses do not know how to stand up and assert their rights, using our legal system. Make no mistake, your employer would not give a second thought to bringing legal action against you, if they thought that they could get away with it. JMHO and my NY $0.02.

Lindarn, RN, BSN, CCRN

Spokane, Washington

My attorney served the employer with a cease and desist and would go no further. I was told that the employer could do as they pleased and it was up to me to "prove everything".

[caliotter3]

I was also told by another attorney that I had to become a statistic before I could take action against one of my attackers. I was told the same thing by law enforcement. Thus, weapon of choice. I've slept with it for years now.

[flightnurse2b, LPN]

I was also told by another attorney that I had to become a statistic before I could take action against one of my attackers. I was told the same thing by law enforcement. Thus, weapon of choice. I've slept with it for years now.

it's a sad state of affairs, isn't it?

i was stalked and harrassed by an ex boyfriend and the cops said they couldn't do anything for me until he actually put his hands on me. i was like thanks guys, i'll call you back when i'm bleeding to death.

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

A good friend of mine was stalked by a guy she'd went out with twice. He broke in to her apartment, she'd come home and find her underwear spread all over the bed with "presents" on them, and her cat disappeared. She went to the cops, and the guy told them they'd been living together for years and she was just having PMS and acting crazy. She ended up moving out of state to get away from the guy. In our society, we are NOT protected.

Personally, I'm a big believer in bringing a gun to a knife fight....

[caliotter3]

It is not unrealistic for the OP to fear these family members when the patient does pass away. That event gives them the perfect excuse to take their frustrations out on her and the employer will be oh, so empathetic with them and throw her to the dogs, if she is still alive. No hypocrisy around the workplace. No, none at all.

[Susan9608]

I did specifically tell the management that I'm afraid of what these people will do when the child dies. Management still maintains that we have nothing to fear physically from this family. I have no idea what makes them so sure, but I sure wish they'd share it with the rest of us. Because everyone I've talked to is freaked out and thinks security should have at least been notified.

[leslie :-D]

susan, do be careful.

i work inpatient hospice, and we did a stint of peds hospice.

sometimes parent(s) DO lose control.

as someone who has buried her 6yo dtr, i am too familiar w/the feelings that penetrate your soul, and can/will make you into a very crazy, unstable person.

you may want to consider mace...

if i wasn't so wary of some of my pts families, i'd be the first to give them a great big bear hug.

sometimes insanity walks a very narrow line.

leslie

[Valerie Salva, BSN, RN]

It upsets me that our supervisors seem to think that workplace violence is ok - just this past week, a tech had her thumb dislocated to where she needs surgery and a MRI tech was bitten. There is no excuse for this. The answer is to threaten to take our jobs instead of holding the responsible parties, well, responsible.

I would document what went on in a notebook and keep it safe. Also, look for another job. Enough is enough, and if you were frightened, than that is enough reason to leave.

This is why we need nursing unions. (effective ones).

[Susan9608]

This is why we need nursing unions. (effective ones).

Amen! If I had any idea where to start, I'd begin trying immediately to bring one to Texas.

[lindarn]

In response to the nurse in Texas- the NNOC has already organized nurses at at least one hospital in Texas. Contact them ASAP, and talk to a union organizer. Keep the faith!

Lindarn, RN, BSN, CCRN

Spokane, Washington

[Magsulfate, BSN, RN]

It was very difficult for that ONE hospital to bring in NNOC.... it is difficult for nurses to have unions in Texas... although I do believe it would benefit us,, especially in a situation like this one...