(8/29) This week, I have learned......

Nurses General Nursing

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(Forgive the early submission this week. Got a busy day tomorrow and last week's thread has just changed its code status to DNR, with a discharge to hospice. Thankfully, most of the family agrees. Unfortunately, one person thinks I'm trying to get more inheritance than Farawyn, but thankfully that's what probate lawyers are for.)

This week, I have learned:

Creatinine can go from 9 to 1.9 in 12 hours. Then 0.65, 24 hours after that, with 13,000 mL out in two shifts.

If you're prepared to ask if your patient group can be split up tomorrow, be prepared to be made out to be an a-hole in front of the rest of the staff just for asking.

My legs are a-holes.

Furry woodland creatures are terrifying.

Metoprolol is a hell of a drug.

Cardiologists should consult nephrologists for beta blocker dosing once a creatinine hits, like, 2.

Some patients would rather walk across the room to pull the code blue button rather then push the nurse call button on their remote they've had glued to their hands for days.

It appears the end of August is "Celebrate Right Before Shift Change Disasters" season.

There are two miserable ladies who post in every thread. But now I'll never know who they are.

There is a person with an STD in their colostomy stoma.

An iPhone can delete all of your contacts in one area code and rename all of your contacts 'Steve'.

I am incredibly frustrated that hospitalists don't clarify code status at admission. Families are SHOCKED to consider that just because their kids know what they want, doesn't mean we'll know.

The State Highway Administration employs archaeologists.

My baby turns 8 tomorrow. I remember feeling impatience at the end of that pregnancy because I wanted to KNOW her. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and has grown more so with every passing year. As fulfilled as I am by being a nurse (I was one of those disgusting "called to it" nurses. Wear gloves when you read my posts, friends. That icky stuff might be contagious.), being Mommy is my one true superpower. :)

What have you learned this week?

There are a ton of drugs that can be a hell of a drug!

About offensive humor - we have a pain in the ass monitor tech who frankly is more full of herself than I know how to deal with. She called to ask me to check on a person coming up asystole. The patient was being bathed at the time, so I knew she was okay. I said, "she's alright, I just put a pillow over her head." Apparently that was taking it a bit TOO far.

(Apologies to others here who I probably just offended. The humor in this head is very disturbing by my own admission.)

I think you are safe here.

Specializes in ICU.
In my defense, I know her job is a frustrating, monotonous one that she dreads. I couldn't imagine having to call busy nurses over and over, all day long. I was hoping to give her a quick giggle. I was really bad at it.

Well, I just laughed, so you gave someone a giggle.

I don't think monitor techs have a sense of humor. I think they were specially raised in the monitor tech cave from birth, where humor is strictly avoided at all times lest it turn them into regular human beings who can take a joke.

Specializes in Hospital medicine; NP precepting; staff education.

Some doctors will hide from patients (when they are being cared for by someone else but who want that certain one who gives good meds).

There are a ton of drugs that can be a hell of a drug!

About offensive humor - we have a pain in the ass monitor tech who frankly is more full of herself than I know how to deal with. She called to ask me to check on a person coming up asystole. The patient was being bathed at the time, so I knew she was okay. I said, "she's alright, I just put a pillow over her head." Apparently that was taking it a bit TOO far.

(Apologies to others here who I probably just offended. The humor in this head is very disturbing by my own admission.)

I was referring to the Rick James bit on SNL. Anyone?

I would have laughed. Dark and dry, just the way I like it.

Specializes in Hospice.
There are a ton of drugs that can be a hell of a drug!

About offensive humor - we have a pain in the ass monitor tech who frankly is more full of herself than I know how to deal with. She called to ask me to check on a person coming up asystole. The patient was being bathed at the time, so I knew she was okay. I said, "she's alright, I just put a pillow over her head." Apparently that was taking it a bit TOO far.

(Apologies to others here who I probably just offended. The humor in this head is very disturbing by my own admission.)

-Atropine 1% ophthalmic drops administered sublingually is also one helluva drug-I may like it even more than Morphine in some situations.

-I also have what could be described as offensive sense of humor. My daughter was born at 36 weeks, with Hyaline Membrane, and intubated for a week. One day she was being bathed, which she loathed with a hot, boiling loathing. Being intubated, she was screaming silently. I looked at the nurse and said, "That's kind of nice. Can we take her home like that?"

That was the day I discovered NICU Nurses have NO sense of humor, and will look at you like you're a serial killer.

One day she was being bathed, which she loathed with a hot, boiling loathing. Being intubated, she was screaming silently. I looked at the nurse and said, "That's kind of nice. Can we take her home like that?"

That was the day I discovered NICU Nurses have NO sense of humor, and will look at you like you're a serial killer.

Wow, that's pretty dark. I initially read the post as she was being bathed in hot, boiling water. Glad that was not the case.

Specializes in ICU.
Being intubated, she was screaming silently. I looked at the nurse and said, "That's kind of nice. Can we take her home like that?"

Intubation: the closest thing to a real-life mute button. :)

I learned that I apparently don't leave this forum when I can't sleep and am just waiting on time to pass to go to work...

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.
-Atropine 1% ophthalmic drops administered sublingually is also one helluva drug-I may like it even more than Morphine in some situations.

-I also have what could be described as offensive sense of humor. My daughter was born at 36 weeks, with Hyaline Membrane, and intubated for a week. One day she was being bathed, which she loathed with a hot, boiling loathing. Being intubated, she was screaming silently. I looked at the nurse and said, "That's kind of nice. Can we take her home like that?"

That was the day I discovered NICU Nurses have NO sense of humor, and will look at you like you're a serial killer.

I have a home care mom with a similar sense of humor. If anyone were to ever read some of the text exchanges between the two of us.........well, DCFS would get involved. :)

Specializes in Hospice.
I have a home care mom with a similar sense of humor. If anyone were to ever read some of the text exchanges between the two of us.........well, DCFS would get involved. :)

Lol I kept expecting them to show up at my door.

Specializes in critical care.
I was referring to the Rick James bit on SNL. Anyone?

I would have laughed. Dark and dry, just the way I like it.

I totally got it, I promise! And it was Dave Chappell. I'm Rick James, *****!

Specializes in critical care.
Intubation: the closest thing to a real-life mute button. :)

I learned that I apparently don't leave this forum when I can't sleep and am just waiting on time to pass to go to work...

Not gonna lie. I get patients I wish I could just intubate. Just wake 'em up all better and bounce 'em out.

I totally got it, I promise! And it was Dave Chappell. I'm Rick James, *****!

Just for old time's sake. I have a friend with a shirt that had the quote on it. Almost tempted to buy one. Almost.

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