This is what happens when you don't feed the nurses

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Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

Had a really rough night on Labor day. No break for 10 hours. My co-worker and I decide to go out to Perkins for breakfast. Well, they are running behind, really far behind. (We waited over 1hr and 15 min for food, but nothing else near was open.) So we bonded with the people at other tables, pulling out raisins, cereal bars and fiber one bars passing them down the tables to hold people over:rolleyes:

So anyway, about 3 am we started getting slap happy. She tells me about her daughter's Swedish college roomate asking her if she has ever heard of a "touchdown." Well, yeah, right? Ummm, I guess it means something A LOT different in Sweden. Apparently, a touchdown is when your having a BM and it touches the water before it "plops." So, we figure we should come up with our own terms. Tell me what you think, and please feel free to add your own.

Sinchronized swim - Diarrhea

Interception - Dis-impaction

Home Run - A successful Dis-impaction

1st base- passing gas

Penalty Box - C dif

Replacing the divits - when our little old people poo on the floor, then track it all over the room.

OMG, I laughed so hard, thought I was gonna bust a gut. My dear hubby, however, looked at me like this:confused:

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Specializes in med-surg, MICU/SICU, Csurg ICU, HH.

There's nothing like a good poop joke!!!:yeah:

Here's mine:

blow out - when the BM is so large and forceful that it blows out the top of the diaper and out both legs:bugeyes:

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Specializes in ER.

Yes! If it's forceful enough to hit two nurses and the opposite wall the patient deserves a medal.

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would the patients that start having a bm the instant they sit down on the shower chair be charged with a false start?

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Traveling - When they can't make it to the bathroom in time :lol2:

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

Interference -- playin' in the poop --interfering with it getting to it's intended destination....

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Double Dribble - You just cleaned them up and oops...there they go again.

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Specializes in Emergency.

ROTFLOL!

I loved the term "Interference"

I have so many patients who (sadly) sufffer from dementia, and they really do play in their poop. We check and check these patients, and they still manage to poop, then smear it over every surface within their reach. THEN they want to touch your face, and tell you how wonderful you are. EEEWWW!

Amy

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Specializes in Med-surg, tele, hospice, rehab.

Only nurses can appreciate poop jokes. :D

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

flagrant foul- when a pt deliberately throws a wad of poop at a nurse :devil:

fumble- when a pt is attempting to get to a bedside commode and poop gets all over the bedrail, bed, floor and commode, plus the nurse's shoes- basically everywhere but it's destination :no:

suspension- when your coworkers don't help you clean up a fumble, a travel, a double dribble, an interference, a false start, a blow out, or replacing the divits :rolleyes:

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, home-care.

ERROR - pronounced AIR-AWWWWWW - When you sit to poop and only farted.

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It's always important to know what your coworkers worst body fluid is...Hopefully as a team there is NOTHING you can't handle. :icon_hug:

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