Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

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Never....NEVER...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary! :eek:

Anybody got anything to add?

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
Lessons learned from working in corrections...

Never take other people's meds, even if they promise it will help you sleep.

Never fight the cops, then fight the CO, then fight the Nurse. You will wind up loosing.

Never jump off the top tier to lay the ground work for a psyc defense (poor outcome)

Never swallow your glasses.

Banging your head against the wall is a bad idea to cure a head ache.

The best fighter in the jail is the shower...3,987 and 0.

How the hell do you swallow glasses??? Honestly I can't swallow a calcium tablet without almost choking. I couldn't imagine trying to swallow glasses.

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Specializes in Mostly geri :).
How the hell do you swallow glasses??? Honestly I can't swallow a calcium tablet without almost choking. I couldn't imagine trying to swallow glasses.

Answer: alcohol lol.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, School Nurse.

Don't use kerosene on your 10 year old's lice infested hair and then smoke near her. Luckily the obvious tragedy did not happen, but the girl was hysterically terrified the next time I found lice in her hair.

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*explicit*

never... pack your lady parts with makeup pads so you can continue "working" on your period. (hooker)

never... refuse to amputate your leg when it is gangrene and has an infestation of maggots. you can apparently be sued to have it removed because it is now a health violation. (homeless man)

did i mention i worked at the county hospital??

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Specializes in Mostly geri :).
*explicit*

never... pack your lady parts with makeup pads so you can continue "working" on your period. (hooker)

never... refuse to amputate your leg when it is gangrene and has an infestation of maggots. you can apparently be sued to have it removed because it is now a health violation. (homeless man)

did i mention i worked at the county hospital??

That is an amazing work ethic.................:eek:

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How germy which is? :lol2: I'd rather handle a gerbil than someone's sticky brown turd.

Based on some of these stories, they could be one in the same.

Also for anyone questioning the mechanics check out the South Park Episode titled "the Death Camp of Tolerance"

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When your frat brother talks you into using cocaine for the first time and........"Dude, you were like, turning blue for like 20 minutes, Man and your heart was ..like doing really freaky s&*^ like John Bonham on the drums...Man"......it is highly inadvisable to try Cocaine again.

Especially if you have a artificial heart valve and your father died of a heart attack at age 38.

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When your dog dies after eating some weird plants in the yard, it is not a good idea to try and eat them yourself to see what will happen.

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Do not try to remove Norplant by yourself.

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I know someone who did that....

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After four years working in an Alzheimer's unit, I have see wayyyy too many creative places to use the bathroom other than the toilet (a dining chair, waste basket, laundry basket, living area chair, large planter, shower chair, drawer, the list goes on but I think the open dishwasher takes the cake). :smackingf I just had to laugh because otherwise I would be sad because the residents really did think they were on the toilet most of the time and disgusted because I was the one cleaning it up. It's really a plus that pregnant women don't use the restroom in odd places...most of the time. lol :yeah:

At the ALF where I work, one of the other aides found a resident taking a crap into the canister of the vacuum. :lol2:

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If you know you are having a heart attack, do not walk past your family, get into your car, and drive almost 100 miles to the hospital where you work. Even if you are an RN.

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well I'm just a student but...

don't smoke with your oxygen on

don't walk in the snow all night long with no boots on

I'm sure theres more but I'm tired right now lol

My husband works for the Department of Transportation and when it snows, he usually has to work. This past winter, he was driving in the snow and saw a woman, 2 toddlers, and an infant on the side of the road. He stopped to help them and discovered that NONE of the kids had any socks OR shoes on and had been standing in the snow for a while. Apparently, the woman had ran off the road and gotten her van stuck in a ditch. My questions would have been: Why would you take the kids out in the snow without shoes? And: Why didn't you let the kids stay in the van instead of having them stand in the freakin snow???

My husband took them to the office and an ambulance picked them up. I never heard anything about the outcome but I hope no one lost any toes that night!

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clorox bleach is for clothes. you use different bleach for hair.

quote]

and clorox was never intended to be used as a douche or enema so you can feel "really clean down there".:no:

actually, at one time bleach was intended to be a douche. in the early 20th century, there were several douches on the market that were actually diluted chlorine bleach.

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Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

When you are on a beach vacation in the Gulf Coast...

And you wake up unable to see out of one eye at all, have a pounding headache in the back of your head and have numbness, tingling and muscle weakness on one side of your body....

Do not tell your family that you want to go home, before seeing an MD.....and have them drive you approximately 350 miles north without stopping.......past many really good hospitals.......past Atlanta, which has some state of the art care....to a 60 bed facility in the BFE zone, because your brother knows a good MD there that he plays golf with. Because they will do a crappy CT and see a massive head bleed. And that 7 hr delay will result in blindness, massive brain damage and you may die before they get you back to one of the many decent hospitals that passed by on the way north...and could have actually done something to prevent many complications.

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