I really like the Reader's Digest new monthly article. 13 things_____ won't tell you. This month it was teachers. So here are some I would like to see listed for nursing:
I really resent when you call and say you need a nurse immediately and when I get to the room you tell me you need a drink of water with a lot of ice. That is NOT something you need immediately and not something you need a nurse to do for you. Next time I won't hurry.
Standing at the desk staring at me isn't going to get me moving any faster, I am on the phone with the doctor getting orders. Glaring doesn't help either.
I understand you just had surgery, part of your recovery process is getting up and walking, so get up and walk.
Your doctor is an #@$hole, he will kill you sooner or later. Please don't sit there and say to me "well, my doctor says..."
Your family is crazy. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
If you hit me, I will prosecute. I am not your punching bag.
You break my heart. You have been sick for so many years and yet you still smile when I walk into the room. AND manage to make me smile.
I love my work, but it is my work. My life is outside this place with people I love.
Please don't talk to me like I am stupid or deaf. I have a four year college degree and great hearing.
Use your call bell and your inside voice. Screaming nurse, nurse, nurse and banging your cup on the tray table will have people thinking your crazy and they will just ignore you.
When you come in acting like an idiot, your not advocating for your mom. The second you leave every nurse on the floor will avoid that room because they don't want to do a thing to tick you off.
That hug you gave me meant the world to me. The thank you for your great care? Made my day. Yes, I will be back tomarrow and one way or another you will be my patient.
Nursing is hard physical work. Nursing is hard physical work. Nursing is hard physical work.
That doctor you think so wonderful? He's left surgical instruments inside 3 people, just that I know of, and every patient we get of his we just go ahead and open a second IV site for the gent/hespan/transfusions the patient will surely need....I wouldn't let him cut my hair.
Oh, yes ma'am, please feel free to complain to the doctor about me "thirsting you to death." He's the one who told me to put you on a 1 liter fluid restriction, and he'll be happy to know I'm doing my job.
Dude. You are 38 years old. Your AIC is thru the roof, and you told me to your face you eat what you want, don't check your sugars, and never take your insulin. So don't try to kick me when I'm checking your feet for diabetic ulcers, and don't tell me that you never noticed the CRATER in the top of your foot that I can smell from the doorway. If you don't get your s*** together, you are going to die, and you are going to die messy. And I'm getting tired of putting people in body bags for no other reason than they think the rules don't apply to them.
Please, please don't talk to your child that way. You think you are going home in the morning, and I know from your labs and radiology that you'll be on the way to an oncologist, since your "asthma" is actually lung CA. Don't let your last night without the big "C" in your life be like this, you are breaking my heart.
Sir, I know you are drifting in that twilight land between life and death, and you can't react to me. But I want you to know that the last night you are spending on Earth, your son is holding you in his arms, whispering what a good dad and husband you are into your ear. It's been an honor to be your nurse. Good bye.
Sounds like heaven to me! I went back to school and graduated from an accelerated nursing program in the top 5th of the entire class that included all RN programs at the age of 55. Excellent evaluations, grades, etc. and not an entry level job to be found. Those 13 things....I'll take them all off your hands and enjoy every minute!!!!!!
Hope you find a job soon.
The economy stinks right now, and a lot of places have a hiring freeze on. The ones they are hiring have experience. Hope things get better soon for you. It is HARD to be a GN right now.
You'll have your own vent on here someday I'm sure. Trust me, no matter how dedicated a student you are, or how passionate you are about the field, there will ALWAYS be at least one patient that says or does SOMETHING that makes your jaw drop and/or your blood boil. Always happens when you work with people, no matter what profession you choose.
1- you may not know it, but i will not let you die alone. no matter what kind of person you were, i will not let you go without a heckuva fight OR, if you have requested, i will let you go peacefully while holding your hand; either way, you will not be alone.
2- i don't like you. i don't like your family. i think you brought all of this on yourself, but i would count it a professional failure if you ever knew how i felt.
3- i, absolutely, will press charges if you assault me in any way.
4- if your biggest problem at this point is that your water is not cold enough, i'll get you cold water, but you can bet i'll be nagging the dr to get you out of my unit.
5- it really creeps me out to "keep alive" the body of a person whose spirit departed them 2 weeks ago; the family may be in denial, but it just seems wrong.
6- it unreasonable to think your family member is going to be pain free if they actually belong in this burn icu. we will do our best to make them as comfortable as possible, but to make them pain free would require anesthesia and tube down their airway. if you want to truly help him, then encourage him to move despite the pain.
7- pain will not kill you, but bed sores and pneumonia will. you MUST move to get well.
8- you will not heal without proper nutrition. next time you pull out your feeding tube, we will sedate you to replace and the dr will will sew it to your septum.
9- male patients 14 - 35 y/o are THE biggest wusses ever.
10- trauma (except maybe neuro) does not make a nice person turn into a jerk.
11- we have nicknames for most of our patients. we call you nana because we like you. we call your neighbor damien and you've probably heard why.
12- the rules actually DO apply to you and your family.
13- you can't open your eyes and can barely slur out your demand for more pain meds. you're obtunded to the point of sedation and hypotensive. pain is not keeping you awake or waking you up. you are a drug addict, seeking stupification.
I don't have any problems with my patients except for the occasional bite scratch or kick. In fact, many times the patients are much easier to get along with than their owners. That being said, here come my vents about pet owners.
1. You couldn't pay for the parvo vaccination even when it was offered to you over the counter, your puppy now has parvo. Do you think that you can afford the $800-1000 for treatment with a third down?
2. No I cannot sell you a bottle of acepromozine, banamine, or xylazine over the counter for the horses we have never seen. I understand the concept of the veterinarian, client, patient relationship. You should too since you say that your wife is a nurse and can give really good shots.
3. Tylenol works well in people. Just because it works good in people doesn't that it won't kill your cat.
4. It is not my fault that you were too stupid to confine your dog to a crate while riding in the back of a pick-up. Yes the procedure to plate the femural spiral fracture is very expensive. Stop yelling at me for your stupidity.
5. Yes, I've read on the Internet where all vaccinations are "bad". Parvovirus is bad too and a horrible way for a puppy to die.
6. I see that your breeder contract will be null and void if we don't vaccinate this pup to her specifications. Pray tell, what state is she licensed to practice veterinary medicine in? Where did she come up with the once a week vaccination schedule?
7. I can't even touch your cat to weigh and temp him. You are nuts to even think that I would do a dental on him without a general anesthetic.
8. Lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on our part.
9. Yes I know that this is a show dog. However in order to properly place an IV catheter requires that I shave a little of the hair off so that I can see the vein.
10. Here let me put this shock collar on your kid then he'll have a reason to scream at the top of his lungs in small exam room while I'm trying to hold your cat who is making me into a scratching post.
11. What part of the "Please turn off your cell phone" didn't you comprehend?
12. No we will not refill the tramadol for your dog. We have already refilled it twice in the last month with a 30 day supply both times. It's not our fault that you are "losing it". We suspect that you are using it or selling it on the street.
13. Oh let me look. You really do have "stupid" tattooed on your forehead.
1. Was your family member blind, deaf, and MRDD prior to their accident/being on the ventilator? If not, why would you yell at them when you're a foot from their face, and treat them like they're three years old now?
2. Please get away from my patient, I have to sedate them with three times as much medication to keep them comfortable when you're here trying to make them feel better by doing number 1.
Don't get irritated whenever I asked your name before giving your medications. I know you from the time of your admission and I will get you out of this hospital without medication error.
This is not a hotel! So please stop complaining of distrubing your sleep or whatever you are doing whenever I monitor your vital signs every hour or giving your meds.
Having a sick family member does not "practically make" you a nurse. I have had years of education, followed by extensive orientations and countless hours of CEU's and seminars to know what I know and do what I do!
I am your nurse, not your waitress or your entertaintment...Your nurse!
I love the waking them up from their sedation, only to run and grab me because they are now uncomfortable...common sense leaves most people when they cross the threshold!
Tait, MSN, RN
2,142 Posts
This thread has given me the fast understanding that L&D has a lot of lazy, crazy scrub patients as med surg!!