Things that make you go "EEEWWW"

Nurses General Nursing

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Stevielynn's thread about the nursing home with the signs on the food carts brings up (oops, no pun intended:D ) something that happened at work yesterday that turned even MY cast-iron stomach. I was the PRN helping with admits, and as I was charting vitals on one new pt., this lady came running up to me holding a patient gown literally dripping with fresh emesis and hollering that her mother was throwing up, and would I come quickly?

I followed her to the patient's room (even after she refused to give me the gown so I could deposit it in the linen barrel and NOT have a trail of slightly used vegetable soup running down the hall) and found a very confused elderly woman sitting up in bed, naked, with vomit EVERYWHERE--all over the bed, on the floor, even in her hair. Worse yet, she was just about to start eating again, apparently having already forgotten being sick, and seemingly unaware of the fact that she'd baptized the tray along with everything else!!

Well, it was all I could do to hang onto my own supper, and I had no choice but to deal with it alone because even the aides were too busy with vitals on the fresh post-ops we'd just gotten. Half an hour later I emerged from the room, smelling ghastly and feeling somewhat under the weather, but by gosh that little lady was nice and clean and her daughter pleased as punch with the service. At least I got a thank-you out of it.....but I hope I don't have to deal with anything like that again any time soon.:eek:

Specializes in Everything but psych!.

BWWAAAA HAAAA HAAAA! What a bunch of great stories, as I'm sitting here eating my dinner by the computer!

I used to work on a unit where digits were reattached. We used leech therapy, using gloves and forceps. The pharmacy kept the leeches. Every now and then there would be a lazy leech and we would send it back for a refund. Funny how nothing else works to improve circulation in the reattached digit!

My worst odor next to GI bleeding is working on a bowel obstruction in the OR. Even though you are wearing a mask, the odor is so vile that it even seeps through the mask.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Kinda gives a deeper meaning to the term FOS, doesn't it?

Sorry. I had a long night and am a little goofy.

Ok, mjlrn97, what's FOS? (I have a lot to learn!)

These stories are hilarious!

Originally posted by wanabebabynurse

Yeah, I'm one of those "non-nurses" who shouldn't be reading this so I think I will stop reading now and I really hope that all this "euwww" stuff can be gotten used to (bad English, I know)

or I will never make it as a nurse. :) :)

Don't worry, this kind of humor develops from the human need to find a way to make something positive out of a negative. There are lots of things in nursing that aren't so yucky but there are many that are. You will be surprised at what you can handle when you know you are helping someone else but then you will laugh about it later like the rest of us because it diffuses the discomfort!

hahaha...justa guess but thinkin >>FOS=Full Of Poop..but with an "S"

One of our well-known indigent patients who would come in, usually once a month or so, to get the maggots scraped off of his gangrenous legs. Despite repeated advice to have them amputated, he steadfastly refused.

Specializes in NICU.

Just this morning I was changing the ostomy bag on a baby and as I took the old bag off, I saw the baby tense up...the stoma bulged out a bit...and WHOOO!!! Thick stream of mucousy stool shot up like a geyser. Thank Jehova I have been pooped on before (never thought I'd be THANKFUL for that...) and hade the foresight to hold gauze near the stoma while the bag was off; otherwise I'd have gotten hit with it Lord knows where.

Have you ever seen a cookie press? You put the dough in and pull the lever down, and a tube of cookie dough comes out? Babies are like that. I have stood over a baby for fifteen minutes trying to change a diaper, and every time you lift their legs to put a new diaper under them, they "press" out that stool. Lift. Squish. Lift. Squiiiiish. Liftsquish. LIFT-SQUISH. L-I-F-T. S-Q-U-I-S-H. I particularly love it when they've been needing to stool for days and it's semi-formed, almost SNAKELIKE, as opposed to those violent spurts that can plaster a wall ten feet away. It's more fun to watch when it's semi-solid. :D

I don't eat cookies anymore.

The parents always laugh when we say, "She finally had a huge dirty diaper for us today! Yay!". They, and my husband, don't quite get it.

Ah, the life of the misunderstood.

My husband and I would get tickled at my son when he did the lift - squish thing! Sometimes it would take four diapers just to get through one diaper changing session!:chuckle

Speaking of C-diff, since it causes profuse diarrhea, I made up a little ditty for all who deal with it, reminiscent of my first grade reader:

c-diff. c-diff run. run, diff, run.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

BWAHAHAHAHA!! I'd forgotten all about the lift-squish thing with babies, it's been so long since I've had little ones at home, but last night I was working in the nursery, and it must have taken this one newborn 20 minutes to push out his first stool.....just about the time I thought he was done, he'd squeeze a little more out. Just like toothpaste. Of course, it's that dark green, tarry stuff that sticks like glue to the baby's hiney and takes half a box of wipes to remove......at least it doesn't smell!:D

We had a nurse who went in to do cares in the LTC facility where I work. She pulled back the covers--not sure what she was doing, a blood sugar or something---and came out of the room, looking at her hands, saying, "Now how did he get lotion all over?" Needless to say........................it wadn't lotion.:o

Specializes in NICU, PICU, PCVICU and peds oncology.
:uhoh3: :uhoh21: :eek: :imbar :imbar :imbar EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW
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