Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this:
Updated:
Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
Have fun!
Oh, and it would help immensely if that ever-so-helpful MD would have his discharge directions clearly stated and the discharge meds checked against the medication reconciliation sheet so that I wouldn't have to track him down for clarifications.
Wouldn't it also be nice if the "ever-so-helpful MD" wrote his discharge summary, medications, etc: BEFORE telling the Pt that they can go home. I just hate telling the Pt that we are waiting for the Dr to write the "letters" but he has got caught up with something else and no I don't know how long he will be.:angryfire
I went into the room of a co workers pt the other night. She was busy in her isolation room and I checked her pt becase the light was on. I walk in and the pt is OOB and doing the pee pee dance. She says to me "I have to go to the bathroom, but I don't want to get all unhooked from all these wires, can't you get me something to pee in?" I looked at her and said "You are already half way there. I'll unplug the IV pump, and disconnect the pulse ox, bp cuff, and heart monitor and you can walk." No I will NOT get you a bedpan when you are up and halfway there already.
Same pt I told her not to touch the IV pump. Pt said "Well it was beeping and I can't stand the noise." I said your light was on and I came to you. I let her know in no uncertain terms DO NOT TOUCH the IV pump! I was glad that only NS was running and not a pressor or something.
I went into the room of a co workers pt the other night. She was busy in her isolation room and I checked her pt becase the light was on. I walk in and the pt is OOB and doing the pee pee dance. She says to me "I have to go to the bathroom, but I don't want to get all unhooked from all these wires, can't you get me something to pee in?" I looked at her and said "You are already half way there. I'll unplug the IV pump, and disconnect the pulse ox, bp cuff, and heart monitor and you can walk." No I will NOT get you a bedpan when you are up and halfway there already.Same pt I told her not to touch the IV pump. Pt said "Well it was beeping and I can't stand the noise." I said your light was on and I came to you. I let her know in no uncertain terms DO NOT TOUCH the IV pump! I was glad that only NS was running and not a pressor or something.
Only thing I EVER do with my IV's is hit the silence button. Then I hit the call light and tell them it was beeping
I suppose this counts under this section.
I had to get my port flushed yesterday. I went to the oncology clinic (as usual) and I heard another patient growling yelling at the nurse. Of course, being the nosey person that I am, I sat quietly listening to what he was yelling. I can't believe this idiot was whining about his TWO sticks for a lab draw. TWO! And we are talking about a butterfly. Stubbing my toe hurts worse! I wanted to yell at him " Oh yeah! Like the highlight of that woman's day is to stand there and take your crap while she's trying to do her job......And her job is to HELP you!"
Seriously folks, I couldn't take that. I would have....well...it would have been a darn good thing he was already in the hospital!
Only thing I EVER do with my IV's is hit the silence button. Then I hit the call light and tell them it was beeping
My dear, you can be quite certain we are not talking about you. I'd take care of you in a :heartbeat.
Now, back to the topic:
-- To the family member who keeps "reminding" me of her loved one's needs and with whom I have discussed the patient's condition, plan of care, medications, discharge plans, doctors' abilities, tests, treatments, and side effects for the past two hours -- I will NOT get there any faster if you monopolize my time. I just gave you two hours. Now it's time for me to pass meds to my other sick patients. Believe me, since mom's obtunded and on a g-tube, she won't mind. Really.
Please just leave me alone and stop thinking you are the only one here.You have already got your son shipped to our ward and into a side room, despite him not having anything infectious (only infectious people get side rooms) I have already got your son two extra blankets and extra pillows,his tablets earlier than everyone else,he was washed and dressed first as per your 'request'. His meals are different to whats on the menu,he is the first to be fed,first choice of pudding and if you dont like whats on the menu you ask for something else which i (as the student) has to go and get for you.I am not his personal nurse, there are another 18 people on this ward. Just popping up to the nurses station whilst im being given handover and asking for this,that or the other is doing my head in. No i dont know when the doctors will be here, nor can i ask them to see you first. No i will not take your disabled son for a walk around the hospital grounds-whats wrong with your legs?
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
I was a pt. care tech. at the hospital a certain NFL QB went to after a bad motorcycle accident. This all happened a few months after I had left the place. I graduated school and went to another facility for my first job. But I still kept in contact with a number of people from that hospital.They said he was a dream come true pt. He was more motivated than the usuall pt., set his alarm for when PT was coming and got himself ready and everything. He was polite and personable to everyone from his physician to his nurse to the housekeeper on the unit that day.
Of course, part of that may be that he was given preferential treatment. But, you can play the "which came first, the chicken/egg" game too here. I do believe some of his preferential treatment came from how much people liked him.
I know those of us who follow football know who this QB is, and while he probably did get "perferential" treatment, he is basically a nice person. His demeanor on and off the field is consistent. He doesn't let his ego get in the way of his manners! He always says hello and is never too busy to stop and chat with his fans. It is a shame more people do not conduct themselves with graciousness and manners. For those patients who think nurses are their servants...I would not speak to you or place my hands on you if I was not getting paid to do so. Next time when you come into the hospital, how about taking a bath, brushing your teeth, wash your hair????
I know those of us who follow football know who this QB is, and while he probably did get "perferential" treatment, he is basically a nice person. His demeanor on and off the field is consistent. He doesn't let his ego get in the way of his manners! He always says hello and is never too busy to stop and chat with his fans. It is a shame more people do not conduct themselves with graciousness and manners. For those patients who think nurses are their servants...I would not speak to you or place my hands on you if I was not getting paid to do so. Next time when you come into the hospital, how about taking a bath, brushing your teeth, wash your hair????
Actually, this is kinda good for this thread. This charge nurse I knew on my unit while there, she got fired for accessing his info. on the computer while he was there. I couldnt help but chuckle when I found out. I couldnt stand her. I'd tell her a pt. requested pain meds, she'd shoot me attitude and not give them, then the pt. would get upset with me cause it took so long to get them (meanwhile, only got them cause I'd tell other nurses).
She spend the whole day on the computer shopping for things, nick nacks for her house.
Now, there is something I would have liked to tell the pts.
"Oh, dont be mad at me. Your nurse is bussy buying a miniature lighthouse. Here is the pt. complain number to call and here is the DON's home phone number."
From tonight:
1. Much as I'd love to sit with you and dish about what's wrong with the patient in the bed next door/room next door/down the hall, it's none of your $%^& business. Oh, you'd be happy for them to know what's wrong with you? Well, in that case... still no.
2. If you think there's a problem with your boyfriend's newly inserted IV let us know, don't just remove it yourself. You certainly don't get to then complain because his meds are 25 minutes late. And why are you here at 1AM any way? No, you don't have a right to be here. Now get out of my face before I call security to kick you out.
to the medicaid pt. who is in & out of rehab and complaining and demanding:You don't work, you do not contribute to society in the least, you are here because everyone else is paying your bill with their tax money, so be grateful that I am taking care of you and don't call me names and demand special treatment because I have read your chart and I do know that you are a menace to society"
I would never say that but it felt good to write it.....
This sums it up for me - it's what I'd like to say to about 95% of our patients -- and all the illegals as well. Although many of them stay very quiet and dont' complain much while they're in. I think they just fear being found about and deported.
But the typical jerk, on disability, only there for the pain meds, w/ the hx of ETOH and substance abuse -- you honestly are the bane of society - and I can't figure out why we as a society, continue to tolerate it.
Only thing I EVER do with my IV's is hit the silence button. Then I hit the call light and tell them it was beeping
I really think that is what she was trying to do. But she wasn't even close becasuse she didn't know where it was. She said "I was so sick of the beeping I just started pressing buttons." She opened the channel where the IV tubing was. I had to reset the IV tubing.
If all they hit is the silence button and call someone no problem.
Meg I think any of us would take care of you if you were in our hospital.
RedCell
436 Posts
I've always wanted to say "excuse me madam, I am going to feel your chest for a thrill" Yeah never actually had the cojones to say that one. I have a slight inclination that they might misunderstand my true meaning.