Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.
LOL,LOL When i come in your room could you get off your cell phone, make eye contact, and turn your tv or headset down? Speak English when i enter your room. All relatives of the patient shut your mouths at once.Make yourselves not seen and not heard. Your relative is dying and all you care about is getting a snack and poring over the food choices in the cafeteria. I can't even go to the cafeteria without seeing you people! Take your &*%^$# headset off stupid! Will you many relatives stand up and get off the floor and bow or salute me when i enter the room. Why are you laying in the patient's bed? If you and the patient are that comfortable go home and neck in your own bed. If the doctor has made you wait to see him all day tell HIM and do not abuse me because you haven't seen your doctor yet, and do not pretend to the doctor that you are not mad at him for taking all day to get in your room---GO ON-- YELL at the MD like you have been yelling at me. What --you are afraid of the doctor but not of your nurse??? Don't interrupt me or the doctor when we are speaking to you. Let us finish. You are an uneducated oaf who is too dumb to not use the internet and learn some medical stuff before you come in here. Speak to management about me and i will slash your tires and find out where you live. Why didn't you ask your CNA why you are still laying in poo? No, i will not fill up your water pitcher while i am already wiping your butt, emptying your catheter, changing your dressing. Get a life and do what your doctor tells you and you just might stay out of the hospital you imbecile!! Do you change your linens on your bed every day--NO? Then i'm not going to do it every day while you are here either. Yes, you got it-- i will straighten your linens to LOOK like i changed your bed. Get over yourself!!!! This isn't club med!! And you waited until your physician fled the hospital before you wanted him to change your pain meds to something stronger--you dope. LOL!!!!!
and if you were this pt, would you like those hours? or better yet, if you were the family and your family member were in the hospital, would you want to only be able to see them from 2-4 or 7-9, on the days when you work from 3-10? I think it's great, albeit an incovinience, that the family is so supportive.
Well, you are a either a troll, or an incredibly naive teenager.No, you can't visit Uncle whenever you want, and I could give a rodent's behind about youur culture. The man NEEDS rest, and once I have made sure he has seen his immediate loved ones, the rest of you are surperfluous and annoying
Well, you are a either a troll, or an incredibly naive teenager.No, you can't visit Uncle whenever you want, and I could give a rodent's behind about youur culture. The man NEEDS rest, and once I have made sure he has seen his immediate loved ones, the rest of you are surperfluous and annoying
haha I'm a teen CNA and even I know that most of the time family members are more trouble than they're worth! I wish visiting hours were regularly enforced at my hospital!
Not only that, we have other patients to consider as well as the one you're visiting - they need rest, and we need space to do our work. Having a constant stream of people coming on, going out, making drinks, each asking whichever passing nurse (or random other staff member) to update them on what's happening even though five other family members have already been updated means we can't do the work we need to do. Visiting hours are limited most places for a reason; we may make exceptions when it's really necessary, and tend to be particularly accomodating when patients are dying, but those policies are in place for a reason.
I may work for you but since you are on medicaid "I ALSO PAY FOR YOU!"And "NO I AM NOT YOUR PRIVATE NURSE" "I HAVE 39 OTHER PATIENTS ON THIS FLOOR"!. THIS IS A LONG TERM CARE FACILITY NOT A HOTEL!" BOY THANKS, IT FELT SO GOOD TO SAY THAT NOW IF ONLY MY PATIENTS WOULD READ THIS FORUM! LOL! Oh yea I forgot about the resident who is screaming Help!, ,Help!, Help! and when you respond they calmly ask you fro their remote control or some other unimportant task,meanwhile you were trying to pass out one of you 40 something patients medicine, and you have to put everything in the cart and lock it up before running because you are sure by the sound of it that the patint is falling out of bed!
I work in a pain management office, so we get some "shady characters," so, here goes:
- No, it doesn't matter if the doctor you used to go to prescribed you #180 Oxycodone 80 mg for 30 days, you're not getting that here! If you "need" that for pain relief, go back to that doctor!
- If you have cocaine in your system, don't try to become a new patient!
- Yes, I will believe the Kentucky Kasper report from the DEA over you telling me that you didn't go to Dr. Such-and-such and get the #120 Lorcet 10/650 mg a week after your came here.
Oh, and we also do weight loss, so here goes for them:
- No, you won't lose weight if you eat a package of Oreos, by yourself, every week! At least try something sugar free!
- Listen, I get it, I like chicken noodle soup, too, but regular old Campbells isn't exactly diet food. (Can we say hypernatremia?)
Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.
Well, you are a either a troll, or an incredibly naive teenager.No, you can't visit Uncle whenever you want, and I could give a rodent's behind about youur culture. The man NEEDS rest, and once I have made sure he has seen his immediate loved ones, the rest of you are surperfluous and annoying
I like to work the saxaphone. I play just what i feel. Drink scotch whiskey all night long and drive behind the wheel....deacon blues.
Specializes in Med-surge, hospice, LTC, tele, rehab.
Sarcastic things I'd like to say:
"Oh...how silly of me. I must have forgotten that you and your family members DO know more than the doctor."
"Oh yes, I do know EXACTLY what time your doctor will be here. We have new GPS tracking devices on all of them."
"Why yes ma'am. We do make you NPO just to torture you."
"Your family member has the hiccups or burped? Get the crash cart!"
"Yes, it is my fault that the doctor came in and talked to you before your family got here at 3:00 p.m. I'll just call him and tell him to come back and see you again."
"Oh yes, Mr. Smith, the doctor calls me at the hospital every morning and says, 'Good morning Nurse Frustrated. I will be in to see Mr. Jones this morning at 9:52 a.m. My plan of care for the day is this..." (Yeah right!)
"Yes, I can diagnose that tingle you've had in your pinky for months just by looking at it. Yes I can change your medicines to anything you want right now. I have ALL the power."
"Yes, I do have the results of your MRI that you had done 10 minutes ago and can tell you all about it. It doesn't matter that it's 6:30 pm on a Saturday."
If you have a "friend" or "cousin" who is another inpatient on a different unit, you better not call them to sneak you in a box lunch after you been told you were NPO. After all, you came to the hospital complaining of abdominal pain of unknown origin. I will tell that patient you are NOT to have any vistors after visiting hours and I will gladly hunt your "cousin's" nurse down and tell her what's going on. Don't try to be slick. I will also call the doctor and let him know you may be ready for discharge in the AM.
And another thing, if you are watching the clock for your next "fent shot", then I have a hard time believing you are in pain. And if you can question me about how many mcgs equal 1 mL and you want me to "flush it fast", then I'm convinced you are a drug seeker.
And don't let me find out you are off the unit after I gave you your "fent shot". I will call the doctor and request you be discharged in the AM. You are obviously not that sick if you can go visit your "cousin" down the hall and the both of you go out and smoke.
And don't try to split staff. We get report twice a day and all the nurses are on the same page. Don't try to play all "innocent" and bad mouth the previous nurse. I will not believe one word that comes out of your mouth.
enchantmentdis, BSN, RN
521 Posts
LOL,LOL When i come in your room could you get off your cell phone, make eye contact, and turn your tv or headset down? Speak English when i enter your room. All relatives of the patient shut your mouths at once.Make yourselves not seen and not heard. Your relative is dying and all you care about is getting a snack and poring over the food choices in the cafeteria. I can't even go to the cafeteria without seeing you people! Take your &*%^$# headset off stupid! Will you many relatives stand up and get off the floor and bow or salute me when i enter the room. Why are you laying in the patient's bed? If you and the patient are that comfortable go home and neck in your own bed. If the doctor has made you wait to see him all day tell HIM and do not abuse me because you haven't seen your doctor yet, and do not pretend to the doctor that you are not mad at him for taking all day to get in your room---GO ON-- YELL at the MD like you have been yelling at me. What --you are afraid of the doctor but not of your nurse??? Don't interrupt me or the doctor when we are speaking to you. Let us finish. You are an uneducated oaf who is too dumb to not use the internet and learn some medical stuff before you come in here. Speak to management about me and i will slash your tires and find out where you live. Why didn't you ask your CNA why you are still laying in poo? No, i will not fill up your water pitcher while i am already wiping your butt, emptying your catheter, changing your dressing. Get a life and do what your doctor tells you and you just might stay out of the hospital you imbecile!! Do you change your linens on your bed every day--NO? Then i'm not going to do it every day while you are here either. Yes, you got it-- i will straighten your linens to LOOK like i changed your bed. Get over yourself!!!! This isn't club med!! And you waited until your physician fled the hospital before you wanted him to change your pain meds to something stronger--you dope. LOL!!!!!