Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
To the able-bodied 25 year old admitted with query H1N1, who on three consecutive occasions buzzed for something just after removal of full PPE despite his nurses asking "Is there anything I can do for you before I go?" - are your freaking arms painted on? Because you can raise the bed head all your own just by pressing that button there, on the control right the **** next to your buzzer handset, just like we showed you when you were admitted two hours ago!
To the able-bodied 25 year old admitted with query H1N1, who on three consecutive occasions buzzed for something just after removal of full PPE despite his nurses asking "Is there anything I can do for you before I go?" - are your freaking arms painted on? Because you can raise the bed head all your own just by pressing that button there, on the control right the **** next to your buzzer handset, just like we showed you when you were admitted two hours ago!
I feel so much better now :)
Sounds like my BF, I'll have to give him a talking to lol.
"Yes, I know it's a stupid rule. The person that came up with it is a moron unfit to manage a plant garden, much less a nursing home. However, they are also the moron signing my check. It's not big enough to get myself yelled at for breaking this rule. The moron in question has awful breath so them opening their mouth for any reason while I'm in the room is bad. "
"No, unfortunately you won't get much sleep in the hospital. Everyone has a job to do and you came here to be treated for your illness. You can catch up on sleep when you are discharged."
Oh wait... I tell my patients this all the time. Sweetly with a smile, of course, no need to go off on a tangent about how sleep is important for healing, etc...yadda, yadda, yadda.
To the able-bodied 25 year old admitted with query H1N1, who on three consecutive occasions buzzed for something just after removal of full PPE despite his nurses asking "Is there anything I can do for you before I go?" - are your freaking arms painted on? Because you can raise the bed head all your own just by pressing that button there, on the control right the **** next to your buzzer handset, just like we showed you when you were admitted two hours ago!
I feel so much better now :)
Those patients have Tyrannosaurus Rex Syndrome. Their little wavy arms in the front are useless and just for show.
"No, unfortunately you won't get much sleep in the hospital. Everyone has a job to do and you came here to be treated for your illness. You can catch up on sleep when you are discharged."
Oh wait... I tell my patients this all the time. Sweetly with a smile, of course, no need to go off on a tangent about how sleep is important for healing, etc...yadda, yadda, yadda.
My line goes something like, "Somehow hospitals got a nasty reputation as a place of quiet and rest, not sure how. Trust me though, I won't wake you up anymore than needed, 'cause if you're asleep, that's less work for me."
I actually said this ... mother brings kid into examination room; kid is eating cheezies and drinking Coke ... when I asked what the problem was, mother said "She's sick" ... my reply: If you're eating junk food, I don't think so. (Small rural hospital, me as only RN, two LPNs, no break --not even to pee -- for entire 12 hour shift that included having to staff emerg (which most people treat like a walk-in clinic) as well as our acute inpatients). Even worse was having to call the on-call doc (as we had to do for all patients) for this one.
Sir, you are 30-something years old. Whining, flailing around, causing drama, and wigging out are not acceptable behaviors in an ICU when you are completely alert and oriented. I understand that you are in pain and are anxious. However, you have refused every remedy available to treat your pain. I have offered you morphine, Dilaudid, Tylenol, Ativan, and Xanax. You have refused each one.
In addition, asking for "my momma" and causing a scene all for an IV start is pathetic. You are not mentally handicapped or otherwise incapacitated. Get over it! Oh, and when momma arrives, you should really listen to her, because she's getting annoyed with you too!
Sir, you are 30-something years old. Whining, flailing around, causing drama, and wigging out are not acceptable behaviors in an ICU when you are completely alert and oriented. I understand that you are in pain and are anxious. However, you have refused every remedy available to treat your pain. I have offered you morphine, Dilaudid, Tylenol, Ativan, and Xanax. You have refused each one.
In addition, asking for "my momma" and causing a scene all for an IV start is pathetic. You are not mentally handicapped or otherwise incapacitated. Get over it! Oh, and when momma arrives, you should really listen to her, because she's getting annoyed with you too!
You've just brought up one of my pet peeves: grown men with tattoos all over their arms, who whine like babies when they need an IV or a lab draw.
To the PIA VIP patients: "I don't care if you know the CEO, the President, or the Pope, I care for all my patients the same, so you need to sit down, shut up, and I will get you a newspaper when I am done taking care of the patients who treat me like a nurse and not their servant."
Patients daughter grabs my arm and states that her father would like to lay down now, I said Ok I will have the STNA's come down. The daughter growls and says why can't you do it. (200 lb 6' tall cva man vs. 5' tall 130 lb nurse) Without even thinking I say, " it will take two people, besides I don't recall seeing your name on my paycheck". Instant foot in mouth but the daughter smiled and said that was a good one...... whew, I thought that was gonna be bad.
No, do NOT mess with the IV pump. Do not mess with your IV or tubing. I don't know why the flip it is beeping, and I suspect you are messing with stuff. Leave it alone!
talaxandra
3,037 Posts
To the able-bodied 25 year old admitted with query H1N1, who on three consecutive occasions buzzed for something just after removal of full PPE despite his nurses asking "Is there anything I can do for you before I go?" - are your freaking arms painted on? Because you can raise the bed head all your own just by pressing that button there, on the control right the **** next to your buzzer handset, just like we showed you when you were admitted two hours ago!
I feel so much better now :)