I need to get me one!
As for asking about gender preference, I don't let it be an issue. If there's going to be something done to an area covered by a bathing suit, I won't ask preference, but I'll usually make an opportunity for them to speak up. Just last week, gave an enema to a 30's y/o woman. I knew it was coming but not sure if she did. So at the beginning of shift, during my assessment I said something like, "And the doctors have written for an enema, it'll take me a little bit to get supplies together, so I'll be back in about 30-45min, ok?" Of course she said, "no", but that was more of an issue with not wanting the enema, not me So, while not specifically asking, 'are you ok with a dude giving you an enema?' I do give notice prior to that I'll be the one.
Now the time before that, a different woman did say, "You?" with a little hesitancy. I replied, "Yeah." She said, "uh...well-" "You'd prefer a woman?" "Yes" "I'll see what I can do"
Think she wouldn't still preferred a woman if she knew that, in the supply room immediately prior, I was explaining to the new nurse how to do it?