The Unwritten Rules of Nursing

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From my own observations I have seen a number of unwritten rules when it comes to nursing practice. Policies and procedures are fine but often times these unwritten rules are more powerful. Here are some I have noticed:

1. Your nose will not itch once all day...until you enter the room of someone on contact precautions.

2. Run around like crazy and you will be labeled unorganized and harried. Move around looking calm, cool and collected and you're labeled lazy and become a target for more work.

3. Never say "oops" in front of a patient. Instead, replace it with the word "there." Same effect for you...and less fear for the patient.

4. The moment you think it's safe to drop ass in your comatose patient's room is the moment their family decides to show up for their first visit in a month.

And my favorite personal observation:

5. Never underestimate the healing powers of being over-bedded.

Feel free to add some of your own unwritten rules of nursing...

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Specializes in Jack of all trades, and still learning.

1. do not run! Thats what I am always told...doesn't matter if it is code blue, just don't run...walk very very fast!!

2. Paint your smile on. It doesn't matter if the computer decides to crash for two hours while you are giving the morning drugs. Or if the registrar decides to walk away for forty minutes while you are supporting a patients leg (not an exaggeration)

3. Never make your own bed at home with hospital corners. In fact, just buy a doona and throw it over the top!

4. The one time you don't wear a gown, is when you get to wear something rather unsavoury on your clothes...ewww.

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Very good ones!

Lets see.

1. Anytime the patient says "I feel something wet underneath me", PLEASE wear gloves. You know it isn't going to be tap water under there!!!

2. Never use the words "quiet", "slow" or "dull" when referring to anything at all at work in ANY unit(You could get hurt as well)

3. If you are on call, don't get into your PJ's, just sleep in your clothes(preferably on top of the covers or in your car) because the second you pull the covers up...riiinggggg rrrriiinnnnnnggg goes the phone.Actually, best to just sleep AT the hospital in your scrubs.

Keep it up.

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My personal favorite - that time when your bladder is the most full, when you have not voided in 11.5 hours, just when you think you will be able to make it to the BR, is when your slowest patient will request to be walked to the bathroom.

Great thread, carry on.

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Specializes in psychiatric ER, Mental Health.

3. Never say "oops" in front of a patient. Instead, replace it with the word "there." Same effect for you...and less fear for the patient

This is perfect!! Love it!:lol2:

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thou shalt not call in sick on the weekend(or holiday)

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Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.

The nurse who calls in on holidays and weekends is always the same nurse and they always get away with it.

You call in sick once in 6 months and you're made to feel like you've committed a cardinal sin.

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Specializes in Emergency Midwifery.
The nurse who calls in on holidays and weekends is always the same nurse and they always get away with it.

You call in sick once in 6 months and you're made to feel like you've committed a cardinal sin.

Yes!!! That's it. I Love It!!!

When preparing for a foley (or some other sterile procedure) you will remember that you have forgotten some vital piece of equipment only after you have donned your gloves. :uhoh3:

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Specializes in Behavioral Health, Show Biz.

Unwriiten Rules of Nursing

1. Never announce, "I'm going on my break." Any patient emergency is bound to pop up.

2. Never volunteer to make coffee and bring snacks to interdisciplinary meetings. Nurses/nursing will forever be stuck with "fetching the goodies" everytime.

3. Never talk to angry relatives while standing in the hallway. Escort them calmly to a quiet room.

HERE'S WHERE YOU PULL-OUT THE STASHED COFFEE/TEA AND GOODIES!

4. Never, NEVER document that a MD didn't show-up to evaluate that patient.

GET ON THE HORN and start callin'/pagin' every Attending MD, Administrator, Health Commissioner, EVEN THE MAYOR if you have to, to come see your patient.(Imagine the admiration you'd receive from your colleagues for the courageous act as well as the pink slip you'll receive from your facility). :trout:

5. NEVER SAY NEVER IN NURSING.

(:devil: Many believe it's a bad omen)

ENJOY THE RIDE!

I am. ;)

SHOWBIZRN

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Don't ever tell anyone that you are bored in the area that you are in.

Don't ever give anyone your cell phone number to call for shifts.

Call display call display call display.

Don't tell anyone how many days off you have in a row, they'll either be jealous and mean, or they'll call in sick and you'll end up working.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, Heme/Onc.

Here are some I've thought of - the *new and improved* rules of nursing

1. Always take the time to void your bladder and eat something. Your coworkers don't want to have to do an accucheck on you when you pass out while helping to turn that 400lb. patient, nor do we want you to have an accident while doing the same! There is nothing short of a code blue that I can think of that is an excuse for "I didn't go to the bathroom today". (And codes only run for 30 minutes or so.) Go to the bathroom. Eat an apple and a piece of cheese.

2. Take care of yourself. No one else is going to do it for you. Stop feeling guilty if you take an occasional sick day for *being sick*. I don't want you coughing all over me, spreading your stomach virus germs or anything else. I'd rather orient an agency nurse for an hour or two and answer his/her questions all shift. If anyone gives you grief, start describing your vomit, sputum or whatever else. Trust me, no one wants to hear it. Consider yourself off the hook.

3. Take care of your coworkers. Even the ones that you don't like. Always be willing to wipe a behind, help with a turn, or start and IV. If you are passing a room that "isn't yours" and the call light is on, at least poke your head in and make sure the patient isn't on the floor. They will remember, and you will always have help when you need it.

4. Never take abuse. Not from the doctor, not from management, not from patients, not from your coworkers. Speak up for yourself assertively, not aggressively. Nurse does not equal doormat, others are only as good to us as we are to ourselves.

5. Never expect an answer to the question "so if xxx has been going on for 4 months, what has changed that makes it an emergency now?"

6. Always anticipate that your boarded and collared patients come off the ambulance having to urinate AND will ask you when the next meal is being served.

7. Don't be afraid to ask the walk-in patient why they are unable to cover their mouths when they cough in your face in triage, don't expect them to be embarassed in turn (this does not apply if you are under the age of 3, or otherwise obviously unable to cover the cough). Give them a mask while you are triaging them.

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Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.

Don't ever give anyone your cell phone number to call for shifts.

Call display call display call display.

These were my top two rules when I was working the floor!

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