The hardest parts of nursing?

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Specializes in ICU.

I've definitely found what's hardest for me - and it's when people really open up to me, especially ones that are not doing well. I had a patient this week who was freshly extubated and still in ICU because of heart rate instability, and I really bonded with her over the course of a couple of nights. She was intelligent and a great conversationist, a real gem among the sedated, the barely conscious, the delirious, and the detoxing patients I usually encounter. She told me that she had talked to me more in the past couple of nights than she had talked to her own family members, that she was really going to miss me when I was off work, and that she felt safe with me around. She wanted my address so she could keep in touch, but I explained to her that it was against hospital policy and I didn't want to get in trouble, but she was welcome to come up to the unit and say hello when she was better.

Maybe it's just how I'm programmed, but my patients expressing these heartfelt feelings of trust and attachment put the heaviest weights on me of all. Being responsible for someone's emotional well-being is so much more difficult for me than taking care of their bodies, and it feels like so much more responsibility. These are the types of days when I go home and can't sleep because I feel so overwhelmed.

I will be responsible for people's lives all day long, but please, please, please don't give me their hearts.

What parts of this job are hardest for you?

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Specializes in Medical-Surgical/Float Pool/Stepdown.

Supporting a patient that wants to be a DNR and is fading fast but their hospice consult isn't until the morning and they are still a full code (I work night shift medsurg) or when a pt or family member asks me how long they have after getting a devastating diagnosis that the MD just dropped on them and plans to expand on later after "more test results come back" ...

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

I agree that the patients who feel an emotional attachment to you that is far greater than whatever attachment you may feel for them is difficult to deal with. I've had a couple patients request to keep in touch and give me their phone numbers. As nurses, we need to have a professional distance but still be present for our patients. It's a hard balance.

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Specializes in PACU.

Patient families. I get that having a loved one in the hospital is anxiety provoking (I've been there). However, when the patient is calm and accepting and the family is freaking out I find that hard to deal with. I really want to focus on the patient but I can't because cousin so-and-so is in the corner telling me they are going to call the BON if I don't tell them what the patient's H&H is (true story). Dealing with families is especially hard when their wishes are contrary to the patient's wishes. Now, before anyone gets nuts, I will say that most of the time families are fine and keep the patient calm or they can be a buffer when you get a patient you would rather not have.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Oncology, Epic CT.

The patient that comes in with no family.

I will never forget a male patient I had in my second semester of nursing school. He was in his late 50's and getting surgery for a hernia. He told me he was newly divorced (his wife had actually left him for another man) and his adult children were on the opposite side of the country. He was very anxious not just because of the surgery itself , but he actually said it was because no one was there with him (He was always use to having family around him whenever he had to go to the hospital, he had an extensive cardiac history and as well as a extensive number of visits to the hospital. This was his first time with no family around). So, I held his hand and said I would take care of him for as long as I can. I stayed throughout the whole surgery process. I even got the opportunity to go in with him into the OR and watch the surgery itself. Afterwards, I was still by his side when he woke up and when he was conscious enough to do so, he gave me his heartfelt thanks for staying with him.

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It is very difficulty for me to have family members that do not agree with the patient wishes or that do not agree with each other. It is much better to have everyone on the same page.

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Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
It is very difficulty for me to have family members that do not agree with the patient wishes or that do not agree with each other. It is much better to have everyone on the same page.

I just have to say, I had to literally blink and rub my eyes when I saw your username - I thought it was "MediaMom"

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

As much as I love my patients while they are my patients, I realized early on that I could not maintain relationships with them all after discharge.

I would have no room in my life for my own life f I did that.

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Specializes in Acute Care Pediatrics.

I agree with the patients that come in with no families. They are the hardest for me. I work in pediatrics... so you can imagine the weight that can fall on you when you continually take care of a baby with no parents in the picture. Or the teenager who sits alone night after night struggling... and you know he's just never known the true love of a family. I guess part of it for me, is that maternal instinct where I just want these kids to have what my kids have... because I think all kids deserve it.

I use my time with these kids to make sure that they know that they are valued, worth something, and loved and cared about.

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Specializes in kids.

When we care more than they or their family do......

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Oncology, Epic CT.
I agree with the patients that come in with no families. They are the hardest for me. I work in pediatrics... so you can imagine the weight that can fall on you when you continually take care of a baby with no parents in the picture. Or the teenager who sits alone night after night struggling... and you know he's just never known the true love of a family. I guess part of it for me, is that maternal instinct where I just want these kids to have what my kids have... because I think all kids deserve it.

I use my time with these kids to make sure that they know that they are valued, worth something, and loved and cared about.

I cannot even imagine. You seem to have a big heart, my friend. Kudos to you for being a peds nurse. That is the field I wish to go into some day.

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Specializes in med, surg,trauma, triage, research.

still the hardest thing for me after over 30 years in nursing is the relatives of a patient who is dying or who have died, I just can't not feel for them and find it hard to not cry along, I know I'm less help to them if I do, but it's hard.

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