The golden first year?

Davey Do · Feb 11, 2021

2 hours ago, pinkdoves said:

It’s been over a year and I still hate my life. Beginning to think I shouldn’t have been a nurse at all

With all the empathy that I can muster, pinkdoves, I have to admit that I am having difficulty understanding this situation.

In comparison, I did not know if I really wanted to be a nurse, and that's the paramount reason that I became an LPN first. I figured a one year program, try it out, and if I don't care for it, I'll find something else.

I loved just about everything about nursing from the get-go and knew that I had made a good career choice. However, had I been hesitant, I know I would have changed directions.

Part of what puzzles me is the fact that all that we had to do in nursing school gave us a taste of what is to come. As an LPN student I knew that I'd be providing direct care, doing techy things, documentation, and dealing with people's personalities.

Please. Enlighten me.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Feb 11, 2021

Certainly stick it out until June, then see what your hospital system has available.

Perhaps you do not hate nursing, you just hate hospital nursing. Start researching other opportunities that are available to you.

Good luck.

RNperdiem, RN · Feb 11, 2021

What do you have outside of work that you look forward to? Hopefully you keep in touch with family and friends, have outside interests and don't depend on work to provide everything you need to be happy.

Are you taking care of your health? Getting enough sleep, fresh air and sunshine? When you have felt down in the past, what helped you feel better. What are your coping skills?

Are you young in your first "real" job? If so, be kind to yourself and remember that transitions in life like this can be stressful. Maybe you would be feeling the same in another line of work. Oddly, I find that is helps to have had some really bad jobs to compare with helps. On a bad day I remind myself that I have dealt with more stressful, weary jobs for way less money. I think of the job where all I did all day was run menus through a laminating machine, or the cold call telemarketing job- all for close to minimum wage.

speedynurse, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-P · Feb 11, 2021

I do think nursing has become very convoluted and hospital nursing truly does focus on the wrong things sometimes. For a period of time, I thought I hated nursing when I was fried in the ER because I was so frustrated with the abuse of patients and being run into the ground for 12 to 16 hours. Now that I am out of the ER, I actually miss certain aspects. The critical thinking and the teams.....etc. However, I genuinely enjoy nursing now in surgical services. There are definitely some annoying things in this branch....arrogant surgeons and little things here and there. However, I really enjoy taking care of patients. I enjoy hearing about their lives and sometimes meet some really wonderful people that have learned a lot about. I don’t hate nursing at all and actually am not sure what else I would do in life for a job. I have learned there are better nursing jobs or worse nursing jobs though.....much more stressful or less stressful.

Davey Do · Feb 11, 2021

2 hours ago, speedynurse said:

For a period of time, I thought I hated nursing when I was fried in the

Same here, Speedy. I was canned as a NS back in '03, wanted to leave nursing, started opening my freelance art business back up, got hired at Wrongway, and lasted 17 more years in the profession.

pinkdoves, BSN · Feb 12, 2021

11 hours ago, Davey Do said:

With all the empathy that I can muster, pinkdoves, I have to admit that I am having difficulty understanding this situation.

In comparison, I did not know if I really wanted to be a nurse, and that's the paramount reason that I became an LPN first. I figured a one year program, try it out, and if I don't care for it, I'll find something else.

I loved just about everything about nursing from the get-go and knew that I had made a good career choice. However, had I been hesitant, I know I would have changed directions.

Part of what puzzles me is the fact that all that we had to do in nursing school gave us a taste of what is to come. As an LPN student I knew that I'd be providing direct care, doing techy things, documentation, and dealing with people's personalities.

Please. Enlighten me.

it sounds like you're having trouble understanding because you're taking my life and comparing it to yours. I am assuming I'm a lot younger than you so I can safely assume much isn't the same today as it was for you. I was never an LPN. I went to nursing school straight after high school. Nursing school (especially nowadays) does NOT prepare you for bedside nursing. It was a lot of watching and sim lab, but not a lot of hands-on. The most I learned during school was during my externship I took on my own accord (not through my school) so god forbid someone doesn't have that experience, how do they even survive? I enjoyed learning the concepts of nursing: pharmacology, pathophysiology, etc., but being the bottom of someone's shoe more times than not is not what I ever wanted my career to be.

9 hours ago, Been there,done that said:

Certainly stick it out until June, then see what your hospital system has available.

Perhaps you do not hate nursing, you just hate hospital nursing. Start researching other opportunities that are available to you.

Good luck.

I think this could be the answer. I really do not thrive in the hospital but I feel so stuck. I'm so miserable I'm scared I'm going to be here forever ? thank you!

pinkdoves, BSN · Feb 12, 2021

On 2/11/2021 at 11:40 AM, RNperdiem said:

What do you have outside of work that you look forward to? Hopefully you keep in touch with family and friends, have outside interests and don't depend on work to provide everything you need to be happy.

Are you taking care of your health? Getting enough sleep, fresh air and sunshine? When you have felt down in the past, what helped you feel better. What are your coping skills?

Are you young in your first "real" job? If so, be kind to yourself and remember that transitions in life like this can be stressful. Maybe you would be feeling the same in another line of work. Oddly, I find that is helps to have had some really bad jobs to compare with helps. On a bad day I remind myself that I have dealt with more stressful, weary jobs for way less money. I think of the job where all I did all day was run menus through a laminating machine, or the cold call telemarketing job- all for close to minimum wage.

I thankfully have really great family and friends. But sometimes my nursing schedule is so hectic that I can barely have an outside life it seems...I sometimes feel like I live in that hospital. I have not been taking care of myself the way I should. I have lost a lot of weight since starting as a nurse. I am young (23) and this is (I guess technically) my 2nd job but first real career move if that makes any sense.

I guess I compare myself to my sister who works in business. She makes more money than I do sitting at home from her laptop and watching daytime shows...then I go to work and am running around, yelled at, abused, etc...it just doesn't seem worth it to me. There are other jobs out there that don't require this but I feel so stuck. I wish I could be 17 again and choose a different major...sometimes I think I need to check myself into a mental hospital. I don't understand why anyone would do this for more than 2 years. I guess there are different personalities...and god bless because I'm struggling to even make it to 1 1/2 years.

pinkdoves, BSN · Feb 12, 2021

8 hours ago, speedynurse said:

I do think nursing has become very convoluted and hospital nursing truly does focus on the wrong things sometimes. For a period of time, I thought I hated nursing when I was fried in the ER because I was so frustrated with the abuse of patients and being run into the ground for 12 to 16 hours. Now that I am out of the ER, I actually miss certain aspects. The critical thinking and the teams.....etc. However, I genuinely enjoy nursing now in surgical services. There are definitely some annoying things in this branch....arrogant surgeons and little things here and there. However, I really enjoy taking care of patients. I enjoy hearing about their lives and sometimes meet some really wonderful people that have learned a lot about. I don’t hate nursing at all and actually am not sure what else I would do in life for a job. I have learned there are better nursing jobs or worse nursing jobs though.....much more stressful or less stressful.

I think I am also frustrated partly because of this reason. The healthcare system is all about money. I work at a prestigious hospital there are people lining up for this place yet they refuse to hire them to save money. It's not okay and ends up short-staffing us all the time. But "it's okay" because the business people look at the numbers and calculate we have enough staff...it drives me nuts and I would love to see them come to our "fully staffed" units. It's hard because I feel like this job takes over so much of my life and I'm so miserable. On my days off I research what other jobs I can have in the future when I can switch positions or units. I feel so hopeless and I've been depressed ever since I started as a nurse. I get a lot of SI teens who overdose. I always am required to ask them questions like "do you feel suicidal today" which is ironic because someone should be asking me that. My whole life seems like a fog. I'm so close to working at starbucks. so close...

TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN · Feb 12, 2021

7 hours ago, pinkdoves said:

I think I am also frustrated partly because of this reason. The healthcare system is all about money. I work at a prestigious hospital there are people lining up for this place yet they refuse to hire them to save money. It's not okay and ends up short-staffing us all the time. But "it's okay" because the business people look at the numbers and calculate we have enough staff...it drives me nuts and I would love to see them come to our "fully staffed" units. It's hard because I feel like this job takes over so much of my life and I'm so miserable. On my days off I research what other jobs I can have in the future when I can switch positions or units. I feel so hopeless and I've been depressed ever since I started as a nurse. I get a lot of SI teens who overdose. I always am required to ask them questions like "do you feel suicidal today" which is ironic because someone should be asking me that. My whole life seems like a fog. I'm so close to working at starbucks. so close...

If you're feeling this much distress it's time to see someone professionally to talk to. Your employer likely offers EAP which is a good place to start as they provide a certain number of sessions for free and can usually get you seen quickly. You also need to make an appointment with your PCP. If you're getting to the point of being suicidal and don't feel you can stay safe then seek emergency help, don't try to be a hero its okay to need help.

I would encourage you to make a list of things you like about nursing and things you dislike about it in order to help organize your thoughts and let you reflect on what's causing so much stress. I don't think your nursing career is doomed, there are so many options and hospital nursing is just one of those options.

If you're this miserable it may be time to go into survival mode and secure an exit strategy from your current employer, private duty homecare has a lot of pediatric patients where you are one to one with a child that has chronic medical problems, a lot of nurses find it less stressful than inpatient and it may give you some breathing room until you figure out longterm what you want to do.

I would encourage you to try to secure another job before leaving but in the end do what you must to survive.

Davey Do · Feb 12, 2021

22 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Please. Enlighten me.

10 hours ago, pinkdoves said:

it sounds like you're having trouble understanding because you're taking my life and comparing it to yours. I am assuming I'm a lot younger than you so I can safely assume much isn't the same today as it was for you. I was never an LPN. I went to nursing school straight after high school. Nursing school (especially nowadays) does NOT prepare you for bedside nursing. It was a lot of watching and sim lab, but not a lot of hands-on. The most I learned during school was during my externship I took on my own accord (not through my school) so god forbid someone doesn't have that experience, how do they even survive? I enjoyed learning the concepts of nursing: pharmacology, pathophysiology, etc., but being the bottom of someone's shoe more times than not is not what I ever wanted my career to be.

You are absolutely correct, pinkdoves, I was "having trouble understanding because you're taking my life and comparing it to yours", because my life is my closest point of reference.

From my point of reference, I was experiencing difficulty in understanding your situation. However, pinkdoves, by you allowing me to see your perspective- your point of reference- you have expanded my parochial view and broadened my horizons.

Too often, we seasoned old folks forget from which we and others came. Your statements of "I went to nursing school straight after high school" and "Nursing school (especially nowadays) does NOT prepare you for bedside nursing. It was a lot of watching and sim lab, but not a lot of hands-on" made me see the light.

Ooooooh!" I said, "I went from taking a First Aid course, being certified in CPR, got my EMT-B, then EMT-NR, to becoming an LPN and then going for my RN! Pinkdoves went straight from HS to nursing school!"

Thank you, pinkdoves for enlightening this old dude!

Now, I'm going to read the other posts. Thanks again!

Davey Do · Feb 12, 2021

2 hours ago, TheMoonisMyLantern said:

If you're this miserable it may be time to go into survival mode and secure an exit strategy from your current employer, private duty homecare has a lot of pediatric patients where you are one to one with a child that has chronic medical problems, a lot of nurses find it less stressful than inpatient and it may give you some breathing room until you figure out longterm what you want to do.

Moon's entire post was filled with wise and insightful advice advice, pinkdoves, but I chose to quote this portion because it set me to thinking.

Obviously, you are intelligent and compassionate, having gotten your RN and "having a great family and friends".

Having worked in HH for a few years, I can echo Moon's advice. Private duty is so much more personal and 1:1, plus you get to use your nursing skills.

I wish you the very best in persevering through this difficult time in your life.