The Customer is always right

Nurses General Nursing

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last night we had a group of rude patients and family members. i work on a post op elective joint replacement floor. none of these patients are in critical condition post surgery, if so they go to the icu. i tell you this because it goes along with my story.

we had a woman in her 40s fresh post op knee replacement. complaining the moment she hit the floor. why didn't she have a nurse in her room providing near constant care, why was her room at the end of the hall, etc etc.

we have a policy regarding overnight visitors, unless the pt is critical, terminal, or unable to speak for themselves(mute, mental retardation, etc) no overnight visitors.

the family member of above patient asked if she could stay. it was nicely explained "unfortunetely we are unable to allow visitors unless...." family and patient got upset wanted to speak to someone else. this is where i come in. i again as nicely as i could explained our policy and apoligized. the pt and the family went nuts. started yelling told me i was just feeding them a line, shoving crap down their throat etc. then proceeded to threaten me stating if i knew what was best i would leave the room and shut my mouth. sucker for punishment i am i stayed and tried to reason with the irate people who in turn basically told me i suck and should choose another profession, i was never meant to be a nurse etc. etc.

i took this personally. i calmly left the room and called my supervisor. she said just let them stay.

ok what burns my butt is i am sooo tired of the patients and their families walking all over us:nurse: and we are just supposed to smile and kiss some more butt. why couldn't the supervisor just have some balls and stand behind her nurses and reinforce the rules? its all about damn patient satisfaction and &*#*ing press ganey.

sorry for the vent. i feel much better now.:cool: thanks for listening.:redbeathe

Specializes in Staff nurse.
And, why is it that competant adults need someone to stay with them overnight in the hospital, like they are infants?

Coz they or their loved ones read a story in the Reader's Digest ( or other) about how you must have someone with you at all times to get good care in the hospital.

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Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.
And, why is it that competant adults need someone to stay with them overnight in the hospital, like they are infants?

Maybe because the hospital is a confusing, threat laden place where strangers come and go into your space with barely a word, doctors shroud your own personal information from you and techs scoff at you for asking for fresh water?

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Specializes in Staff nurse.

It seems to me that everyone wants, no, DEMANDS, that they be an exception to the rules, regardless of who it inconveniences or safety issues. We have a policy of no over-night visitors if your loved one has a roommate. But there are times when a semi-private room has 2 pts. and 1-2 overnighters per patient as well!!

I am thinking HIPAA, safety issues, and ease for nursing staff. Plus two TVs, 2 IVACs, and numerous chairs to walk around for pt. care. :banghead:

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I understand the original poster's point of view - I really do. And I agree that no nurse should suffer verbal abuse from anyone, not a patient, not a visitor, not a doctor, not another nurse, no one. And I do agree that a supervisor should back up her nurses, in most cases.

However, I do think that in the case of visitors and having visitors, if a patient is really adamant about having a visitor and keeping a visitor overnight, it might have been - or might be in the future - more prudent to look at it from the patient's perspective and try to find out *why* it's so important for the patient to have someone stay with them. Is the patient scared? Lonely? Afraid that he/she isn't with it enough to pay attention/ask questions and understand the answers? Afraid the staff is to busy to help with things like getting sodas, fluffing pillows, fetching snacks? Or too embarrassed to ask for help for things like help with going to the bathroom?

I know when I was in the hospital and I found out my husband couldn't stay with me, it stressed me out really badly, and I cried for about 4 hours. I was straight up terrified about what was going to happen to me all alone. I'm an adult, I'm a nurse, but I had just had surgery, and I felt like I was totally at the mercy of all these strangers. It would have been nice to have just had his familiar face there. And you can damn well bet that if I had been in a private room, I would have thrown a fit and insisted that he be allowed to stay. As it was, I felt like I got terrible care that night; had I had someone there with me, perhaps I wouldn't have had the issues I had. Certainly he would have been more patient with me and wouldn't have said to me, "Could you hurry up? I have other patients you know," when I was struggling to walk to the bathroom for the first time after surgery.

So ... I think that there are times to be hard-assed about "policy" and times not to. Perhaps immediately post-op, even if a patient isn't critical is not necessarily the time. At least not in my opinion.

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Specializes in Utilization Management.
And, why is it that competant adults need someone to stay with them overnight in the hospital, like they are infants?

Frankly, I'm not ashamed to admit that I get like that when I'm sick. I want a family member with me when I'm in the hospital. My perceptions are altered. I don't know what I'm doing. Yet I'm well aware that I could die. Not from mistakes, but from whatever is making me sick. I just want my family with me because at least they care about me and can stay with me at all times. Even the most excellent, caring hospital nurses cannot do that -- they don't have the time.

So is that so wrong?

If I had the choice, I would not want to stay in a hospital that would not let me have someone stay with me.

That said, if I found myself in a hospital that did not allow my family member to stay with me, I would not expect my family to make a scene about it.

If your supervisor didn't back you up this time, then do as another poster suggested and defer to her all the time. Let the supervisor take the fall. Just be sweet and say, "It's not policy but maybe we can make an exception in your case..."

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Specializes in orthopaedics.
why didn't the op just call security? i've done it before and it helped resolve the situation. you have to stand up for yourself.

i really and truly wanted to. that was my first reaction. then i thought somehow this would turn on me and i would look like the bad guy for calling security on a poor family member.:crying2:

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Specializes in CCU stepdown, PACU, labor and delivery.
I long for the days of a more respectful society. Our culture is so consumeristic and demanding. It really gets old.

Have to agree. I used to work PACU and they actually had to put a number code pad on the surgical suite doors due to too many patients family members becoming impatient and going through the "staff only" doors to "go see whats taking so long." We would find them roaming through the sterile OR areas!:eek:

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Specializes in Home Care, Hospice, OB.
and, why is it that competant adults need someone to stay with them overnight in the hospital, like they are infants?

okay, i've got to chime in with tait on this one...i would never leave a loved one alone overnight in a hospital if they were seriously ill or a fresh post-op.( i'm not condoning the witchy pt in op.....if it was scheduled surgery, she should have known about the visitors policy well in advance.)

this is in no way a reflection on staff, simply an acknowledgment that nurses are overworked, understaffed, abused, and do not have time for the hand-holding and blanket-fetching that family members (good ones!) can provide. my first night post-op after major abdominal surgery, i wanted my back stratched (mso4 reaction), assistance turning in bed, ice chips--you know, the usual. i would not dream of hitting the call button for these, and didn't need to, as my dh was at my beck and call. he also was the one to use the button when my iv infiltrated, and i was too gorked to notice!

in all fairness, this was a new wing, all private rooms, and designed with a "murphy bed" for family, so he wasn't in anyone's way. by the second night, when i was alert and ambulatory, i sent him home to sleep!:redbeathe

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Specializes in CCU stepdown, PACU, labor and delivery.

I also wouldn't put up with threats. I had a gentle man ( well man) tell me after checking his pedal pulses post cath ( I had explained what I was doing and this was the 3rd or 4th check on him) that if I touched him with cold hands again he was going to kick me in the stomach and send me to ER ( I was 8months pregnant). Never one to speak up for myself, I kicked into mom-mode and told him that I would not tolerate being threatened and if he did it again I would call security and if he dare lay and hand or foot on me I will call the police. He promptly apologized and was very nice, calling me "dear" the rest of the day. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do!

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Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.
I also wouldn't put up with threats. I had a gentle man ( well man) tell me after checking his pedal pulses post cath ( I had explained what I was doing and this was the 3rd or 4th check on him) that if I touched him with cold hands again he was going to kick me in the stomach and send me to ER ( I was 8months pregnant). Never one to speak up for myself, I kicked into mom-mode and told him that I would not tolerate being threatened and if he did it again I would call security and if he dare lay and hand or foot on me I will call the police. He promptly apologized and was very nice, calling me "dear" the rest of the day. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do!

Wow, good for you. I would have been just as livid, there is no REASON to threaten like that.

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
It seems to me that everyone wants, no, DEMANDS, that they be an exception to the rules, regardless of who it inconveniences or safety issues. We have a policy of no over-night visitors if your loved one has a roommate. But there are times when a semi-private room has 2 pts. and 1-2 overnighters per patient as well!!

I am thinking HIPAA, safety issues, and ease for nursing staff. Plus two TVs, 2 IVACs, and numerous chairs to walk around for pt. care. :banghead:

If I had a nickel for every time I tripped over a chair or the visitor's purse trying to assess my patient. I swear I would be rich.

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Specializes in PCCN.

well, as long as pts are told they can have us on their beck and call by administrators, this will continue to spiral out of control. the customer is always right- maybe their should be a meeting of the minds to re- evaluate the "policies" as they are not customer service friendly. it is rediculous that the nurse is damned if you do, damned if you dont. I know if i worked there, id be looking elsewhere. actually since this new" model " of customer service is evolving, and we are getting more abused, i have considered looking for a new profession. too bad everyone couldnt do this as a group. If this is how hospitals want to be- well they can do it themselves- not have nurses be the bottom of the hill where all ^%&^ rolls down.

as far as calling security- what good would that have done? the "customer" would have still demanded that she get her way, and how dare we deny that? the supervisor would have still blamed the nurse- and probably would have had the pt family member escorted back to the hosptal by limo with flowers and champagne to boot.

we are all screwed as long as this (bleeeep) continues.

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