The Ancient Ones

kiki9988 · Jun 26, 2012

I agree with you 110%. It's heartbreaking to see, and sometimes makes me angry. At the end of the day though, all I can do is do my job of educating patients and families and letting them make their own decisions. It seems simple to me until I imagine these were my own parents in this situation and I don't know if I could "be ok" with letting them go, even if I knew it was for the best.

perioddrama · Jun 26, 2012

People are afraid to die, and people are also afraid to lose loved ones.

Well said.

I feel like this year, I've been to more funerals than other years... and it's only June. Out of the eight friends and family members' funerals that I've gone to this year, three of them were due to complications because of medical interventions... and it's really hit home.

My parents have sat down and talked with us adult children regarding their wishes. It was a hard conversation, but at least we had it early and we know what they want. That way, if anything happens, we won't be making decisions when we're highly emotional.

jcmLPN · Jun 26, 2012

i agree its a touchy one... but there is a lot of suffering that goes along w being bed ridden and trapped in Ur own body that families don't get... not sure how I would feel but at some point I would make myself chose quality over quantity I guess..

Fiona59 · Jun 26, 2012

It's guilt. People are afraid of death. Very few die at home anymore. Adult children want their parents kept alive at all costs.

I've worked in LTC and several patients who were full codes and really had no quality of life were kept alive to keep their pensions going to support the eldery wives (no survivors benefits).

I've seen elders kept alive because their children "Knew" Dad/Mum was a fighter and "would want everything done". They don't see the pain in the eyes and the fear when when some procedures are performed.

The body wears out as does the spirit. Nobody was meant to live forever.

One of my earliest memories is being taken to see my greatGrandfather. When I asked my Mum about it, she told me I was visiting him on his death bed. He had asked to see all the greatgrandchildren one last time. He was at home. This event hasn't scarred me, made me afraid of death or the dark. All I remember is an old man in a bed with a German Shepard on the floor.

People need to realize there is nothing to fear about death. I just hope when my time comes, I'm at home, in my own bed with my dog nearby.

Asystole RN · Jun 26, 2012

to each their own.

different people, different religions, different cultures, different values...

we are not in a position to judge the very personal and difficult decisions that patient's and their families have to make. once we allow our own prejudices to lay judgement upon our patient's and their families we have failed them. we are there to support their values, their beliefs, their culture, their decisions.

Asystole RN · Jun 26, 2012

People are afraid to die, and people are also afraid to lose loved ones. But shouldn't a society that is severely over burdened with the cost of medical care draw the line somewhere? Just because we can extend the life of someone, doesn't mean it's always the proper thing to do. Comments?

I agree, people should know when they are a burden to society and do us all a favor and just die.

Who cares about their religion, their culture, their values, and their right to decide the path that their life takes.

There are few groups that are as much of a burden on society as the retarded. What kind of quality of life is it when a person has cerebral palsy? Grandma's life has no real value, she lived a long life didn't she? Maybe we should do them a favor, save society the burden and just euthanize them?

We are nurses, we have dedicated our lives to helping people, not judging whether their lives have merit.

Fiona59 · Jun 27, 2012

My first reading of the OP caused me to react like the above poster. Actually, I though, Eugenics is somewhere in the OPs thoughts.

But the more I thought about it after pulling my fingers away from the keyboard, I realized what the OP was trying to say (and I don't think English is their first language).

We've all provided care to patients that we just go "WHY are we doing this?" but we still provide care. There are cultures that feel everything must be done for their parents in order not to lose face in their community but at what cost to the healthcare system and to the body of the patient? In my hospital we serve a diverse ethnic community. Many from impoverished, third world nations. They receive a level of care and services that would be unable to them in their homelands. Should we say you are refugees from (pick a nation of your choice) and wouldn't have access to this there and denyh care?

And yes, with the costs of healthcare rising unpopular decisions will eventually have to be made. Should surgery for bowel obstructions be provided for 90 yos or newborns? Cataract surgery for 1000 or a baby in the NICU? Dramatic yes, but in reality healthcare rationing exists in all countries.

sapphire18 · Jun 27, 2012

It's not our decision to make. End of story. If it's a really bad situation, well, that's why ethics commitees exist.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Jun 28, 2012

op, many think it but few are willing to say it, especially in this culture.

tyvin, BSN, RN · Jun 28, 2012

I think Washington State and Oregon have the right idea...the right to die if terminally ill with

Death is so misunderstood by our society so much so that we've had to develop elaborate cultures of rituals to deal with our need for immortality. I've had many a conversation with very old people who are in real intractable pain and just plain hurting in misery. They would like the "choice" as the terminally ill people do to be able to go. That they must live so society can have a clear conscious and all wonder at the marvel of man.

Lying in the bed; unable to move due to the pain. There's a g-tube because it hurts too much to eat... but she didn't want the g-tube...the family wanted it. So she stays there; day after day... her face stained by the tears that can no longer come...she has no more energy to cry...she just prays to die.

Asystole RN · Jun 28, 2012

I think Washington State and Oregon have the right idea.

I would agree with you that people should be able to choose to die mercifully. The optimal word though is choose, the OP and some of the responders do not think choice is an important part of healthcare decisions.