We see our lives as a series of events and relay those events of our life to others in story form which always has a beginning.
One year ago on this date, an major event in my life began when I pushed over the first domino, causing a chain reaction, which led to my termination two months later.
If I could have generally known the series of events that were to take place due to pushing over that first domino, would I have decided otherwise?
If I could have generally known that what working as a nurse would be like in 1982, would I still have chosen to go for my LPN license over of my paramedic certification?
What is a pivotal first domino pushing over nursing point in your life?
If you generally knew beforehand the series of events that were to take place in your nursing career, do you think you would have chosen to push over a different row of dominoes?
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 1/16/2021 at 2:55 PM, JBMmom said:
maybe I will ease into more creative pursuits as time goes on.
Yeah, easing into creative pursuits is a process, that's for sure, JBMom.
When I was younger and still had a lot of bills to pay, I would make due the best that I could. For example, back in the late '90's, I remember working on my '85 Toyota pickup, putting in a new starter on a Sunday which I had to have running the next day in order to drive it to work. I said to myself, "Someday I'm going to own something that I don't have to work on, but work on it for pleasure".
Sure enough in '09, I bought a '51 Chevy pickup that was totalled in '11 and I spent the next 3 1/2 years resurrecting it. I thought I had found my hobby, completely taking apart an antique vehicle, repairing it, and putting it back together again. But no.
I tinkered with it a bit last Summer, got it running again for the upteenth time, and drove it around a bit, but it's not my main creative pursuit.
I've always done art, so I immersed myself into art after I retired. I now have enough wood, metal, and plastic sculptures, signs, and paintings to do a show if I want. My last show was in '03.
I have learned animation which encompasses sketching, sculpting, painting, photography, digital, and computer art.
Art is my creative pursuit, every day, up to 12 hours a day.
I would highly advise anybody considering retirement to try out any and all creative endeavors and to find something now that they absolutely love doing.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
On 1/16/2021 at 6:25 AM, Davey Do said:
I wonder, SBE, are you pursuing art now? Doing art was therapeutic and a great catharsis when I was in the throes of a stressful nursing career.
Too often, I hear people say, "When I retire, I'm going to..." and they put off following their bliss. It's an understandable tact to take, one Daniel Gilbert labels in his book, Stumbling On Happiness, as "getting twice the juice from one orange". We get to experience the pleasure of looking forward to the event and then we get to experience the pleasure of the actual event.
In no way do I wish to give you a bummer, but please allow me to make a personal case in point: Many years ago, my older brother said, "When I retire, I'm going to do paintings of scenery. I want to get good at that".
He was a good artist in his own right with sketches and drawings and such, but not so much with landscape paintings. So I asked him, "Why don't you just go out and do paintings of scenery now?" My reasoning was to avoid the experience of disappointment, in finding out that the experience wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and beginning practise could also make room for improvement.
My Brother put me off, but did pursue other interests he was already really good at, like carpentry. However, he got sick, was forced to retire, and did not get a chance to "do paintings of scenery" before he passed away.
To pontificate and blather onward: I've lived my life pretty much as a grasshopper, more so than an ant. I saw life as a Summer and jumped around happily in the grass, but I also took note of the ways of the ant, who planned for the Winter. Just in case I died before I could experience the joy of retirement, I was going to experience the joy in short increments.
I believe Charles Schultz said something like, "The best vacations are the ones where you can be back home by noon".
I am truly taking these words to heart. Another domino.....thank you
If I knew now what I knew then I would not have ever tipped that first domino into the world of nursing. Nursing was my second career and I had high hopes for a great future and career in nursing. There have been many threads here about nurses not being able to find their niche and many say just give it time and keep trying. Well, I did just that but never found my niche, and to me that means a job that I liked. I think I was good at all the different jobs that I tried but just never really liked them, mostly due to the extreme stress levels for a variety of reasons. I worked hospital, out of hospital, and then back to hospital so did try different options. Also, I worked Hem/Onc and was exposed to radiation and chemo routinely which I believe was at least a factor in eventually becoming ill with an autoimmune dx. Of course I will never know for sure but we do know that environmental factors, along with stress, can be contributing factors, IDK. Even if I had not become ill I still would not choose nursing again. I would choose a job with less stress and more money (or at least a better retirement plan). I worked different jobs from retail, food service, Insurance etc and have never seen the amount of disrespect showed to nurses. And, for the most part it (in my experience) was across the board from the pts/families, ancillary staff, and admin. I do wonder why this continues when juxtaposed with the fact surveys state that nurses are most trusted etc. Sometimes I also wonder if it was related to my geographic location. Of course it is not everyone but still more so than not from what I have seen. Of course the jobs all had some perks/good things that I liked (For instance, I liked HH because of the time it gave me to myself while driving around!, I liked the hospital because of the 12hr shifts and the fact that when you left work you were done, except for those occasional calls back to the unit LOL) but these IMO did not outweigh the bad. That said, I am still glad that (as a nurse) I was able to be in the right place at the right time for many people and I know that I did the best that I could given the circumstances. (It is hard for me to read some posts from nurses who blame themselves for issues that are beyond their control and hope that they will see that you can only do what admin will let you do). But, I am happy that some of my colleagues find their niche and enjoy their jobs/careers, it just didn’t happen for me.
So, as the song goes…”I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger”.
I think I would have been happier doing something else in the long run, but now that I am also retired I don’t dwell on it, I just continue to live my life and enjoy what I can while I can. And, DaveyDo glad you are too!!
LOL, Are you saying that you don't??
Daisy4RN, loved, loved, loved this post. After almost 29yrs as an RN, I too, don't feel that I ever really found my niche in nursing and I still have regrets about my career choice all those years ago, but as the saying goes, 'it is what it is'. Also, as you pointed out, I've never really felt that the overall pay was ever commensurate with the ultimate responsibility (potential for harm to other), or level of disrespect, danger (exposure). Personally, if I can grind out 5 more years to better position myself for early retirement, I will but don't have much more left to give. Cheers, morelostthanfound
If I knew now what I knew then I would not have ever tipped that first domino into the world of nursing. Nursing was my second career and I had high hopes for a great future and career in nursing. There have been many threads here about nurses not being able to find their niche and many say just give it time and keep trying. Well, I did just that but never found my niche, and to me that means a job that I liked. I think I was good at all the different jobs that I tried but just never really liked them, mostly due to the extreme stress levels for a variety of reasons. I worked hospital, out of hospital, and then back to hospital so did try different options. Also, I worked Hem/Onc and was exposed to radiation and chemo routinely which I believe was at least a factor in eventually becoming ill with an autoimmune dx. Of course I will never know for sure but we do know that environmental factors, along with stress, can be contributing factors, IDK. Even if I had not become ill I still would not choose nursing again. I would choose a job with less stress and more money (or at least a better retirement plan). I worked different jobs from retail, food service, Insurance etc and have never seen the amount of disrespect showed to nurses. And, for the most part it (in my experience) was across the board from the pts/families, ancillary staff, and admin. I do wonder why this continues when juxtaposed with the fact surveys state that nurses are most trusted etc. Sometimes I also wonder if it was related to my geographic location. Of course it is not everyone but still more so than not from what I have seen. Of course the jobs all had some perks/good things that I liked (For instance, I liked HH because of the time it gave me to myself while driving around!, I liked the hospital because of the 12hr shifts and the fact that when you left work you were done, except for those occasional calls back to the unit LOL) but these IMO did not outweigh the bad. That said, I am still glad that (as a nurse) I was able to be in the right place at the right time for many people and I know that I did the best that I could given the circumstances. (It is hard for me to read some posts from nurses who blame themselves for issues that are beyond their control and hope that they will see that you can only do what admin will let you do). But, I am happy that some of my colleagues find their niche and enjoy their jobs/careers, it just didn’t happen for me.
So, as the song goes…”I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger”.
I think I would have been happier doing something else in the long run, but now that I am also retired I don’t dwell on it, I just continue to live my life and enjoy what I can while I can. And, DaveyDo glad you are too!!
LOL, Are you saying that you don't??
This is what I'm afraid of, I'm fairly new into my career (6 years) and have spent it all in Hem/Onc. I think I was in denial and had some ups and downs as far as feeling good about my choice and confident in what I was doing, but now have accepted that I do not like this and don't think I can continue for even a year or two. It's too bad because with the position I have now, I'm enjoying the most flexibility and variety available among my peers and many will jump for my position when I'm gone.
I just think I need to at least try something new, but part of me feels that I have no business being a nurse at all. I'm easily stressed and am not exactly a "people person", though I try my best. Right now I'm gunning for outpatient, office/clinic work, or in a perfect world, telemedicine. I could try another specialty, but I think deep down I know myself and will not like it.
Do I regret going for nursing? Not exactly. It's been interesting, gave me a lot of perspective on what is important in life, and at the time there was a lot of anxiety among my generation about being able to find a job after college, so I had to choose something that would pay off. In that way it was a perfect decision, I paid off my loans within a couple years, was able to purchase a home and have lived comfortably while being able to travel quite a bit and pursue my hobbies. But especially recently, I've noticed the effect that this work has had on me physically and mentally and realized life is too short and unpredictable to feel this way now.
I've realized I have dreams that are so removed from nursing that this is only a paycheck at this point, and seeing how my sister (and others) have made so much more money in a job that offers her so much more in life has made me realize that nursing is not the great career that some make it out to be, though I have worked with some of the most amazing and dedicated individuals and will leave with the highest respect for nurses.
I have no regrets tipping the domino towards being a nurse. However, I have a few domino experiences over the years as a nurse. As upsetting as they were, I do have to say they were valuable experiences. One very valuable and also extremely devastating to me at the time. I guess the harder you fall, the more strength you need to develop to get up.
Oh how I wish I could go back in time and tip a few more dominos...there are some I’d love to “tell off” without worry of loosing my job at that time. Hahahaha!
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 1/16/2021 at 1:08 PM, Daisy4RN said:
Act-shoo-lee (did I do that right?) the first domino was probably when I was a candy striper, add to that the child birth experience, and then when my mom had leukemia, all those together were what propelled me in the nursing direction, and later when the time was right I acted on that!
Pretty close, not bad, but it needs to be said louder and with more animated facial expression: ACT-SHOO-ALL-LEE...
Does it seem yo you, Daisy, in your nursing career, those nurses who had a rather involved background history in the nursing field worked more gracefully as a nurse? Such as you, with your candy striping experience and your Mom's illness?
I think of Eleanor, my work wife, who had close family members who suffered from some relatively severe mental illness diagnoses. She is an extraordinary psych nurse.
And of course, I include myself, as a 19 year old, confined to bed due to multiple injuries and having to lie in my own waste for an extended amount of time before receiving hygienic measures. I took a First Aid course thereafter, got certified in CPR, got my EMT and worked with the volunteer emergency corps before getting into nursing.
The domino effect that started my role into being a nurse....I initially had every intention of going to medical school. And then one day, I decided I had no intent of being in debt for medical school for decades and made the jump into paramedic school. I started working as a tech later on and thought....huh, emergency nursing actually uses a lot of my paramedic skills and critical thinking - I will do that! Thus - I became a nurse as second career.
My domino was a day in my previous career (programming robotics in an automotive parts factory). Plant manager told me that I was taking a pay cut to 1/2 of current (I was most experienced, but made less than half of rest of team, and was only female on team), and would have to perform "other duties" (said licking his lips). I called my dad crying. He told me to call my mom and get info on nursing, get the **** out of the factory. I didn't call mom, called the local cc, and went from there. My credits were all good transferring in, took the NET (what IvyTech used back in the day), applied, got accepted, started 3 months later. I worked at the factory during school, avoided the plant manager, and worked as a CNA to pay for school. The rest is history.
Regrets? Like DD and SBE noted, things were great until about '07/'08, and it's been downhill ever since with cuts to staff, supplies, and equipment. Somedays, I wish I'd done something else, but raising 2 kids alone isn't easy, especially without help from their dad, I needed a solid career. Most days my body is worn out, my mind is run down, and some days I feel like my spirit is broken. Other days, I'm fine but I know I'll never get back what I've given spiritually. Sadly, many of my colleagues feel the same way
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Thanks for sharing your story, Hoosier.
I could identify, in a way. I was laid off on December 31, 1981 from a weatherization service and was living in a cabin. I made $49/week on unemployment, but my rent with utilities included, was $79/month. That left about $120/month for me to live on, so I did alright.
As I sat snowed in my cabin, doing fun and possibly illegal things, I remember asking myself, "What kind of job could I get that didn't take a lot of education, paid decently, was stable, and would keep me interested?"
That Spring I applied for the LPN program, was accepted, and the rest is history.
2 minutes ago, Hoosier_RN said:
would have to perform "other duties" (said licking his lips).
A new supervisor, Laurie, was present the night back in '12 when Wrongway went to computer charting. It was, truly, a cluster bar as I was pulled from my home unit, got three admissions- two with medical problems- and I was the sole RN. Laurie was useless.
Laurie became upset with me when I gave her a reality check and said, "You're mean" (then licking her lips) "and nasty!"
Well, she really did say that I was mean and nasty.
I could identify, in a way. I was laid off on December 31, 1981 from a weatherization service and was living in a cabin. I made $49/week on unemployment, but my rent with utilities included, was $79/month. That left about $120/month for me to live on, so I did alright.
As I sat snowed in my cabin, doing fun and possibly illegal things, I remember asking myself, "What kind of job could I get that didn't take a lot of education, paid decently, was stable, and would keep me interested?"
That Spring I applied for the LPN program, was accepted, and the rest is history.
A new supervisor, Laurie, was present the night back in '12 when Wrongway went to computer charting. It was, truly, a cluster bar as I was pulled from my home unit, got three admissions- two with medical problems- and I was the sole RN. Laurie was useless.
Laurie became upset with me when I gave her a reality check and said, "You're mean" (then licking her lips) "and nasty!"
Well, she really did say that I was mean and nasty.
Plant manager was just plain nasty. Others duties, by his definition, were under the desk, at a motel, etc. He lost that job after I left, and 2 or 3 since, for sexual harassment. He has since retired (forced, as no one in area would hire him). Good riddance!
Really, nursing hasn't been horrible, but I just remember when things were way better, as many of us do
I'm not being coy when I ask: Do you mean the plant manager did the horizontal mambo under the desk, et al?
The First Domino thread may just be getting more hits with you knocking over that domino, Hoosier.
Okay. Sorry!
Thanks for making me laugh. He definitely was suggesting the horizontal mambo, I just wasn't taking him up on it. He was an ***, had a beautiful and kind wife, 3 kids. Chased the few females working there. I don't think he thought we were smart enough to retaliate. Yes, I filed sexual harassment charges before I left with 3 other ladies. The 2 that were dancing the mambo with him didn't file complaints. He lost job, marriage, and community respect. Last I heard, he was still in TN, unable to work. Karma...
Davey Do
10,666 Posts
Yeah, easing into creative pursuits is a process, that's for sure, JBMom.
When I was younger and still had a lot of bills to pay, I would make due the best that I could. For example, back in the late '90's, I remember working on my '85 Toyota pickup, putting in a new starter on a Sunday which I had to have running the next day in order to drive it to work. I said to myself, "Someday I'm going to own something that I don't have to work on, but work on it for pleasure".
Sure enough in '09, I bought a '51 Chevy pickup that was totalled in '11 and I spent the next 3 1/2 years resurrecting it. I thought I had found my hobby, completely taking apart an antique vehicle, repairing it, and putting it back together again. But no.
I tinkered with it a bit last Summer, got it running again for the upteenth time, and drove it around a bit, but it's not my main creative pursuit.
I've always done art, so I immersed myself into art after I retired. I now have enough wood, metal, and plastic sculptures, signs, and paintings to do a show if I want. My last show was in '03.
I have learned animation which encompasses sketching, sculpting, painting, photography, digital, and computer art.
Art is my creative pursuit, every day, up to 12 hours a day.
I would highly advise anybody considering retirement to try out any and all creative endeavors and to find something now that they absolutely love doing.