That First Domino

[Davey Do]

We see our lives as a series of events and relay those events of our life to others in story form which always has a beginning.

One year ago on this date, an major event in my life began when I pushed over the first domino, causing a chain reaction, which led to my termination two months later.

If I could have generally known the series of events that were to take place due to pushing over that first domino, would I have decided otherwise?

If I could have generally known that what working as a nurse would be like in 1982, would I still have chosen to go for my LPN license over of my paramedic certification?

What is a pivotal first domino pushing over nursing point in your life? 

If you generally knew beforehand the series of events that were to take place in your nursing career, do you think you would have chosen to push over a different row of dominoes?

[Chickenlady]

Nope, so far happy with the progression.  Not to say I didn't have some bad experiences, but I can see where they lead to a benefit

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

So much to think about in that question! Much of it goes beyond just nursing, too, because so many of us have made career choices based on other aspects of our lives. 

I came to nursing as a second career when my first career in pharmaceutical research was ended- when my employer laid off thousands of us. Fortunately, I had an idea ahead of time that it would happen so I was able to get my nursing education complete and transitioned pretty easily into full time nursing. 

For me, if I knew where I would be now, I think I might have started nursing as a career earlier in my life. I really enjoyed my job as a research scientist, and it allowed me a flexibility and paycheck that supported by family for years. But I wonder where I might be in my nursing career now if I hadn't started down the path at 38 years old. Who knows? Overall, I think I'm probably right where I'm supposed to be all things considered. I'm generally an "everything happens for a reason" person. 

On your "anniversary" I hope that you're at peace with what transpired. It's clearly brought you more time for your art, which you seem to enjoy, and sharing your experience and advice with others (with a little pot-stirring thrown in). Who knows where life would have lead if any domino fell just a little differently, but ever experience brings growth and learning. 

[Davey Do]

58 minutes ago, Chickenlady said:

Nope, so far happy with the progression.  Not to say I didn't have some bad experiences, but I can see where they lead to a benefit

"In every cloud...", eh Chickenlady?

You must be a person of higher consciousness, keeping chickens, et al.

I've got five of the little darlings myself.

[Davey Do]

1 hour ago, JBMmom said:

 I'm generally an "everything happens for a reason" person. 

On your "anniversary" I hope that you're at peace with what transpired. It's clearly brought you more time for your art, which you seem to enjoy, and sharing your experience and advice with others (with a little pot-stirring thrown in). Who knows where life would have lead if any domino fell just a little differently, but ever experience brings growth and learning. 

Yep, JBMom, everything happens for a reason because that's that's the way it's supposed to be.

Whether we like it or not.

My art is my life, thank you very much, and I've totally immersed myself in it. Just yesterday, I conceived and produced three relatively large metal sculptures! "(Art) is flowing out like rain into a paper cup", to paraphrase Lennon.

What in heavens do you mean, "with a little pot stirring thrown in"?

To combine yours and Chickenlady's statements, every experience brings benefits, including growth and learning.

 

[Daisy4RN]

If I knew now what I knew then I would not have ever tipped that first domino into the world of nursing. Nursing was my second career and I had high hopes for a great future and career in nursing.  There have been many threads here about nurses not being able to find their niche and many say just give it time and keep trying. Well, I did just that but never found my niche, and to me that means a job that I liked. I think I was good at all the different jobs that I tried but just never really liked them, mostly due to the extreme stress levels for a variety of reasons. I worked hospital, out of hospital, and then back to hospital so did try different options.  Also, I worked Hem/Onc and was exposed to radiation and chemo routinely which I believe was at least a factor in eventually becoming ill with an autoimmune dx. Of course I will never know for sure but we do know that environmental factors, along with stress, can be contributing factors, IDK.  Even if I had not become ill I still would not choose nursing again. I would choose a job with less stress and more money (or at least a better retirement plan).  I worked different jobs from retail, food service, Insurance etc and have never seen the amount of disrespect showed to nurses. And, for the most part it (in my experience) was across the board from the pts/families, ancillary staff, and admin. I do wonder why this continues when juxtaposed with the fact surveys state that nurses are most trusted etc.  Sometimes I also wonder if it was related to my geographic location. Of course it is not everyone but still more so than not from what I have seen. Of course the jobs all had some perks/good things that I liked (For instance, I liked HH because of the time it gave me to myself while driving around!, I liked the hospital because of the 12hr shifts and the fact that when you left work you were done, except for those occasional calls back to the unit LOL) but these IMO did not outweigh the bad.  That said, I am still glad that (as a nurse) I was able to be in the right place at the right time for many people and I know that I did the best that I could given the circumstances. (It is hard for me to read some posts from nurses who blame themselves for issues that are beyond their control and hope that they will see that you can only do what admin will let you do).  But, I am happy that some of my colleagues find their niche and enjoy their jobs/careers, it just didn’t happen for me.

So, as the song goes…”I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger”.

I think I would have been happier doing something else in the long run, but now that I am also retired I don’t dwell on it, I just continue to live my life and enjoy what I can while I can. And, DaveyDo glad you are too!!

1 hour ago, Davey Do said:

What in heavens do you mean, "with a little pot stirring thrown in"?

LOL, Are you saying that you don't?? 

[SmilingBluEyes]

I was very happy with my choice (as a 2nd career) nurse for about 12-13 years.  Then I saw things changing and not for the better--- mid-late 2000s.  As the years have gone by, I have seen many cuts in personnel and equipment that make our jobs much harder and the old "do more with less" saying has worn thin with me. I don't see admin doing more with less, but getting bigger bonuses every year off our backs. My back is getting really tired.

The dominoes started falling years ago for me...but I have to keep playing the game because it's a little late for me to start a 3rd career and I don't want to go back to school and incur debt I have no desire to make up in the years I should retire.

I have about 5 years left before I can retire and I can't wait. I wish all the newer nurses the best. I pray we can keep them cause we know, we need every one. But I am not optimistic.

[Davey Do]

Thank you so much, Daisy, for all that you wrote in your post because it motivated me to seriously re-examine my own nursing career- especially your words pertaining to never finding your niche.

When it all comes down to bare bone, I never liked working as a nurse nearly as much as I like being retired and doing my art. Heck, even when I was doing the public art thing, I didn't like it as much as being retired.

But I knew that I had to do something in order to make a living. I could have had a couple of aches out in the woods and survived relatively comfortably on next to nothing, but somehow that just didn't seem like the right thing to do. If I was going to pursue a career, that career had to meet certain criteria, and nursing fulfilled that criteria.

Once again, thank you, Daisy.

Re: stirring the pot...

1 hour ago, Daisy4RN said:

LOL, Are you saying that you don't?? 

I copied something from a book on Sociology and believe the author hit the nail on its proverbial head:

Perhaps my "mildly deviant behavior", that is a trait of being an artist, could be interpreted as a stirring of the pot.

I am the way I am because of the way in which I am wired, much as some are wired to be parents.

I don't expect everyone to understand that wiring, because I sure don't understand why anyone would ever want to be a parent.

[Davey Do]

Beautifully written post, SBE, and one in which I could easily identify.

1 hour ago, SmilingBluEyes said:

 Then I saw things changing and not for the better--- mid-late 2000s.  

That's a pretty good time frame- the early 'aughts. The '80's and 90's were great and I thought things went downhill because the early 'aughts was when I started working at Wrongway, a for-profit facility.

But recalling my early years at Wrongway, the early 'aughts were okay, so I have to say our perspectives coincide.

I wish the very best for you in the Autumn of your career, SBE, and thank you for your wonderful, yet realistic, post.

[Daisy4RN]

15 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

Thank you so much, Daisy, for all that you wrote in your post because it motivated me to seriously re-examine my own nursing career- especially your words pertaining to never finding your niche.

When it all comes down to bare bone, I never liked working as a nurse nearly as much as I like being retired and doing my art. Heck, even when I was doing the public art thing, I didn't like it as much as being retired.

But I knew that I had to do something in order to make a living. I could have had a couple of aches out in the woods and survived relatively comfortably on next to nothing, but somehow that just didn't seem like the right thing to do. If I was going to pursue a career, that career had to meet certain criteria, and nursing fulfilled that criteria.

Once again, thank you, Daisy.

Re: stirring the pot...

I copied something from a book on Sociology and believe the author hit the nail on its proverbial head:

Perhaps my "mildly deviant behavior", that is a trait of being an artist, could be interpreted as a stirring of the pot.

I am the way I am because of the way in which I am wired, much as some are wired to be parents.

I don't expect everyone to understand that wiring, because I sure don't understand why anyone would ever want to be a parent.

Yes, I saw that quote in a prior post and I agree. You know I was just kiddin ya but I do agree that some people will see any "alternatives being explored" as stirring the pot. My big mouth always got me in trouble even though I didn't really see it as me having a big mouth, just exploring options or trying to show the other side etc. I think we are all wired differently but do share similarities with others. I think we should celebrate both the differences and the similarities, after all we are all only human!

I think you meant acres in the woods but I would definitely have aches if I was in the woods, LOL

[SmilingBluEyes]

I digress but:   If I had had my choice when I was young, I would have been an artist. I encouraged my kids to do what they desired, making a living. You want to be an artist while working tables to make a living? Go for it. Your goal is to be in sanitation (which pays pretty well), fine by me. It's not  my life. I am proud when you make any effort to be productive and honest in this world.

But my parents FORCED me to quit my art classes in high school (when I was winning national awards for my work) and FORCED me to go to university when I wanted to go to a CC and work a bit and see the world more.  So I joined the USAF. In the military, when I have my first baby, well, that was when becoming a nurse became a dream.  I had such admiration for the staff who cared for me and my sick son in the NICU. This was in the early 90s. . Times were good then, compared to now. I followed my dream and became an RN, in OB/GYN/Newborn, for a while. I was truly happy in those days and felt good at the end of any shift, even the hard ones.

But like I said, mid 2000s,  things just seemed to change. Do more and more and with less and less. Pay attention to the computer, not the human attached to it. This is not what my "vision"of nursing was......I did not like the direction it was going, but I was already pretty far in and decided to hang in there til I could retire.

WAY back in nursing school, My nursing director made a speech our first day in class I will never forget:  She said," you may or may not regret taking this path". I had no clue what the heck she meant, I KNEW I was never going to regret it........but--- She was right. I did  regret it, not at first, but I kind of do, now.

I don't want to be anyone's "hero". I am really sick of hearing that. I am not an "angel of mercy". I came into it for steady work and to care for people, honestly and earnestly.  I want fair treatment and respect for all nurses, everywhere. I want nurses to feel passion for what they do and want to stay. I try to treat new nurses well, encouraging them. I want them to stay. But they are savvy and I think many won't. What WILL  we do? Being called a "hero" is really hollow to me in these times.

 I just know: I don't want to be that "domino" that takes them (new nurses) out of the game.

 

Great thread by the way.

 

[Daisy4RN]

SMB, 

I am sorry you didn't have to chance to pursue your art dreams. Maybe you can pursue that when you retire, or before!

I had an experience with childbirth that also ignited the nursing fire, so to speak. A very long labor (over 24hrs) ending with a C-section and incision infection. I remember the nurse who, after I told her no more kids, talked to me, cared for me, and told me I would forget the horrible part of the experience over time. I wanted to also provide that kind of care and also was working mid 2000's when we became unable to do that anymore (and of course admin didn't want to hear any of it!). It is just so sad what has become of the healthcare system. Not my vision either! Maybe that is part of the reason I never found a position I really liked, IDK.

I want fair treatment and respect for nurses too, just not holding my breath too much. Unfortunately I think our society in general in is a free fall and it definitely shows in the hospital, I was a candy striper in the early 70s and remember how different it was,  but now I digress