Teacher and Student Intimate Relationship: Is it ok?

night owl · Sep 16, 2003

Sounds like you're looking for approval. :nono: Absolutely not. Keep the teacher-student relationship just that. Why would you even want to go there? That is so unappropriate and unethical! After you're out of school, then I see nothing wrong with it. Does this teacher do this often with some of his students? Makes me wonder where he's coming from and what kind of morals he has. :uhoh21:

Mint Julip · Sep 16, 2003

I don't think a teacher-student relationship is appropriate under any circumstances. As hbscott pointed out how could the teacher be unbiased in their evaluation of that particular student? What about when the affair ends? I think we have all read horror stories about the "jilted lover". I'm sure many a career has been ruined by such behavior.

night owl - I believe that the author of this thread is doing some type of research or something to that effect. This person has posted another topic as well. I believe it was regarding male instructors.

mother/babyRN, RN · Sep 16, 2003

Nope, and I don't care if I DO get inflamed...Get back together when the student has either graduated or left school...A true love relationship could withstand that....Any other scenario is unethical and either person participating should already know that....Calm the hormones....

KLS · Sep 16, 2003

absolutely not

Tweety, BSN, RN · Sep 16, 2003

It's nobody's business. Love is too precious to just turn it off because someone might not approve or make it difficult.

They should keep the relationship to themselves and show restraint. The student should change classes, sections, or even schools. Doesn't matter if it's pure innocent, and professional harsh judgement and conflict of interest will make it difficult.

But I say go for it. And I don't care if I get flamed either.

I might add as a disclaimer that I would never have even allowed myself to date or explore any feelings with an instructor. But one can't choose whom they fall in love with. If I found myself in that situation, I wouldn't leave it. What consenting adults do away from the job is not the employers business.

Agnus · Sep 16, 2003

Right or wrong it historically only leads to trouble for at least one of the people involved and ofter both.

We are not talking small potatoes here when I say trouble.

Run don't walk to another school and enrole there if you are this student.

If you are the instructor discuss this with the student. Ask to student to change schools. If she/he refuses you should discuss this with your dean.

If they refuse this is NOT LOVE. I suggest the student be the one to change as it is far easier for a student to change schools than for an instructor.

If you are the Dean and you give a da33 then you speak to the instructor and the student.

It is fine to express your empathy however, they have put you and the school in a compromized situation and they must stop or leave.

If it is TRULY LOVE they can control themselves for the sake of the other and the sake of thier love. Other wise it is not LOVE it is pure LUST. Adults can control themselves. They can stay apart and keep thier distance. Especially when love is love. Anything else is not love. Love requires sacrafice, love is responsible. Lust ignores sacrafice is not love and is unresponsible.

Rapheal · Sep 16, 2003

No. Two careers are at stake. I bet the bloom would be off the rose when the instructor lost his/her job and the student lost his/her position in school. That would seriously dampen the future of this relationship. So if it's true love......wait and don't put obstacles in the path of your future.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Sep 16, 2003

I want to be a nurse so bad that i wouldn't EVEN risk anything to screw that up, men included.

If he TRULY loved me he'd wait for me until i'm done.

lateblumer · Sep 16, 2003

I think that it is something that shouldn't even be considered from the start. Everyone knows about student-teacher relationships. My opinion is that it should remain a professional relationship until the schooling is complete. If it is real then it will still be when school is done.

AmyLiz · Sep 16, 2003

Nope.

Having said that, I know it can be easy to "fall" for or be attracted to an instructor. Heck, I had a little crush on one of mine when I was getting my bachelors back in my early 20's. But nothing came of it & nothing would come of it anyway while I was in school. It wouldn't be ethical for an instructor to date a student. After the student leaves the school...fine...but not while he/she is enrolled at that school.

mother/babyRN, RN · Sep 16, 2003

3rd shift guy...Interesting that viewpoint is from a man.....Women feel differently...Flame or no flame, there comes a point when you have to make responsible choices...As I said previously, if it is a true love relationship, it can wait..If it can't wait and allows ethics and unprofessionalism to get in the way, SOME on should acquiece their position.....Period.....What if the "love" relationship is between two people with great discrepancies in age? Hence the power thing...Or the Oedipus complex, or any one of a number of things...Best not to split hairs IMHO, and do the right thing, which is NOT to condone involvement in the first place, while there is a teacher/student relationship...Not fair to them or, more importantly in the setting described, ANYONE ELSE in the program being graded and or evaluated by said instructor...Absolutely all about bias here.....

Gomer · Sep 16, 2003

Let me guess -- the teacher is married to a spouse that doesn't understand him/her and the student is an "innocent" who is looking for guidence and true love -- ah, a match made in heaven. Give me a break! Stupid, stupid, stupid -- just asking for trouble.