Teacher disciplining student in your office

[JerseyTomatoMDCrab, BSN]

This happened to me yesterday and since I have no other nurses around here to ask, I turn to you, my "coworkers." As most of you know, I am new to school nursing. This is my first year and there is still a lot I don't know.

Yesterday afternoon, one of my kindergarten friends came to me from art class. He had an accident and the aide who walked him down told me that he didn't go to the bathroom before he came to art. No problem. I started pawing through my clothes looking for something to fit him when his teacher (his actual K teacher, not the art teacher) came in like a wrecking ball, ignored me when I asked if everything was ok and started really laying into the student. "Did I not tell you to go to the bathroom before art class? Excuse me?! This is ridiculous! You need to follow directions! This is getting written on your daily report for your dad to see!" The little guy just kind of stood there and didn't say much. I felt pretty uncomfortable about the whole thing. After she left the kid actually said "Ok, where were we?" (teehee) like nothing happened at all so I don't think he was too upset about it.

My question to you guys is this: what would you do in this situation? I really don't understand the teacher-nurse dynamic in terms of telling someone they crossed the line. She wasn't giving him medical advice or infringing on my domain of providing wellness services so it's not like I could say she was stepping on my toes. I did think she was being excessively harsh, especially since it's not like she was the one who had to get him cleaned up, but I didn't want to cause tension between us because she thought I was infringing on her domain of disciplining a student for not following directions in the classroom. I am very interested to hear what you guys think.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Oh, that would have crossed the line with me.

That's really not how we help kids remember to go to the bathroom.

I completely understand the frustration of this kind of incident but there are better ways to handle it.

[Flare, ASN, BSN]

I am not going to let someone make me feel uncomfortable in my own office. On the other hand - I don't have enough information about this student. Is this a frequent issue for this student? The fact that this statement of having to remind the student had to be made indicates that it perhaps could be. Does this student have special needs or is he just a late bloomer in the toilet training dept?? Maybe i'm just over thinking this - but i do know one thing - the teacher voice i read this in my head was very exasperated - I am positive that i would have at the very least given her "a look".

Poop happens. Heck, I've had middle school students that have had accidents - it's rare but sometimes the legs don't work as fast as they should in getting to the bathroom.

[OldDude]

Occasionally that will happen here and I usually say something sarcastic like, "yea, that sure helped" and they get the point. I've been around here longer than most of them, however, so they just have to live with it. I'm not excusing an outburst like you describe, because that's not appropriate, but really, teachers often get the raw end of this issue because they give the kids many opportunities to go to the restroom throughout the day. But when there is a potty accident the first thing mom asks little Johnnie is, "Did the teacher let you go to the bathroom?" - And you can guess the response - "NO" - and bam, the teacher is immediately put on the defensive; through no negligent action on their part. In many cases the parent refuses to believe the teacher - which doesn't help.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

I completely agree that this can be a very frustrating issue when a teacher is attempting to teach. Therefore, maybe the teacher needs the help of a paraprofessional (aide) and they can make a plan with the parents to regularly give the kid a chance to go to the bathroom; like, walking the kid to the bathroom.

And we've all lost our cool. Still, not a good way to handle it.

[JerseyTomatoMDCrab, BSN]

Here's some more info on the student: He's not a FF by any means. I have seen him once before, back in September, for a bathroom accident. He was wearing sweatpants with the drawstring wayyyyy too tight that time. Other than that, I have never seen him.

Honestly, I feel like her frustration was with the fact that she offered a bathroom break so many times and he didn't go. I just don't know that losing her patience was warranted. It happens to everyone I guess... And OldDude has it right with the parents. Too many of them think "not MY child! It must have been something the teacher did!" and that's the end of it. I definitely gave her a look but she didn't seem to care. She was never my favorite!

[morte, LPN, LVN]

seems the teacher was attempting to humiliate the student, not cool.

[Rubor]

She should've talked to him about that after he was cleaned up. Not a good time or place to do that and that is what I will usually say.

[lifelearningrn, BSN, RN]

I've seen K teachers get frustrated because they DO give them lots of chances, and the kids go in there and play instead of going to the bathroom, and then BOOM, 20 minutes later they have an accident.. yeah, she was wrong for lighting into him like that, but I do see how they can lose their tempers.

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

I think this is one of those things you just let go. If you do have to criticize a teacher, never do it in front of a student, even if you think the language is over the student's head.

[morte, LPN, LVN]

perhaps the kids are too young to understand?

[rn4kiddos]

I had a parent bring her child in first thing yesterday morning that berated and reprimanded the poor kid. It just breaks my heart to hear anyone berate a kid for having an accident in their pants. I am sure the child was humiliated enough! I just calmly reminded the mother that there is a stomach virus going around and perhaps her child had no control...