Taken advantage of...

Published

I took a nutrition class this past semester and we had a small report to do (by small I mean the prof. said she wanted it to be under 2 pages). I did my report in good time, no problem. A fellow student who Im friendly with asked me to see my report cause he wanted to see how I approached it. I told him no problem but made sure to tell him not to copy my work and he agreed. Anyway 2 weeks later, the day of the final, he calls me and tells me that he spoke to the prof. and he told her that we did the report together and thats why they look so similar. I was appalled and felt extremely betrayed. But what bothered me the most was that by saying that to the prof. before she asked about it just tells me that he probably copied my work word for word. thank god it didnt affect my grade.

I'm a person with trust issues. Iv'e been burned and have close friends and family who have been burned in different ways and this experience just tells me that my trust issues are justified. I know alot of people are honest but I feel like putting up a wall around myself in order not be taken advantage of. Am I being irrational?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Trust issues have nothing to do with it. When most people ask to see schoolwork "to see how it is done", they are looking for something to copy in some manner or other. Count on it. And do not loan out your papers in the future unless you have your grade already and the person asking for it is turning something in late or in a following semester.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care, Trauma.

if anything i would and plan on doing this... copywrite your papers and give them a copy... if you get called on it you could prove that you didn't cheat because you would have the original... otherwise just tell them to ask the teacher how to approach it... most of the time teachers especially in college will help... I know the teachers I have had in the past have helped me if I didn't understand... I would usually email them or if I'm in the area go to their office... my teachers also know that things happen so they would extend due dates or times... hope this helps... talk more tomorrow good night

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

You are so fortunate that this did not impact your grade! In many programs, you could be accused of academic dishonesty and end up failing the course because of your "friend's" dishonesty. Moreover, how does the instructor know that he copied you and you didn't copy him?

Caliotter3 is absolutely right. Trust has nothing to do with this. Don't do it again.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in med-surg, psych.

You need to keep your papers private and do not share them with other students. You can offer help regarding sentence structure, ideas, punctuation and format but never allow a fellow student to read your paper. It is also possible for a classmate to think they are not copying your paper but in reality they are. Worry about yourself and work to achieve your goal. You do not owe it to anyone to show your work or to help them pass a class. Tutoring is one thing but allowing someone to copy your work could result in terrible consequences for you. This instructor could have failed the both of you. You learned a valuable lesson, take care of number one, you! Good luck with school.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

To add to what DoreenKY just said, many instructors will provide a sample paper with the correct format for a student to follow. This helps clear up any confusion about teacher expectations.

If this happens again, tell your classmate to ask the teacher for clarification rather than let someone else see your paper.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
If this happens again, tell your classmate to ask the teacher for clarification rather than let someone else see your paper.

Definitely!!! If someone asks to see your work, just politely refuse and say it's nothing personal, but that you've had bad experiences with people plagiarising your work in the past (which would now be true!)

As the others have said, we are adult learners, and we have to learn to stand on our own two feet. In my experience, teachers are only too happy to advise those who go to them for help.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I've had to learn just to say "no", and I'm much happier now that I do that. I don't know what is with people that they still ask to see other people's work like in grammar school or something, but its such an awkward position to put someone in. But just say "No, sorry." and have that be it. I actually had to do that at the beginning of the semester and the girl didn't want to sit by me after that....Great! LoL, saved me a headache the rest of the semester =)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency Department.

In general I am happy to let other see my work, but they may not take it home with them, make a copy of it, or otherwise have possession of it out of my control. The reason is that this way they can get an idea about how I put my papers together, but they won't be able to copy my work as they would have to rely on their memory to be able to do it... and unless someone has a 100% reliable photographic memory, that's not going to work out well in the end.

I'm happy to tutor classmates in how to write, but I will not go over what to write. That's their job.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency; med-surg; mat-child.

I'm happy to look at *their* paper to see if I can help, but they don't get a copy of mine. Nope.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

foolish is the correct term.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.
I took a nutrition class this past semester and we had a small report to do (by small I mean the prof. said she wanted it to be under 2 pages). I did my report in good time, no problem. A fellow student who Im friendly with asked me to see my report cause he wanted to see how I approached it. I told him no problem but made sure to tell him not to copy my work and he agreed. Anyway 2 weeks later, the day of the final, he calls me and tells me that he spoke to the prof. and he told her that we did the report together and thats why they look so similar. I was appalled and felt extremely betrayed. But what bothered me the most was that by saying that to the prof. before she asked about it just tells me that he probably copied my work word for word. thank god it didnt affect my grade.

I'm a person with trust issues. Iv'e been burned and have close friends and family who have been burned in different ways and this experience just tells me that my trust issues are justified. I know alot of people are honest but I feel like putting up a wall around myself in order not be taken advantage of. Am I being irrational?

Yes and no. The best advice I ever received was, "never loan something you cannot afford to lose." Obviously, I'm not sure, but I'm assuming you're female? You just encountered a low-grade predator. He tested your relational limits, and used them as he saw a potential. To some degree, we all use social manipulation, but a reasonable test is do you get (comparatively) what you give? I would suggest being careful. He is probably just a dumb jerk who wanted more party time and less homework, but testing personal limits is a warning sign.

You can be friendly and social, but you do not have to be intimate(ie., risking personal compromise) for a relationship that is not directed by mutual commitment to each other and commitment to a common goal. So-called modern familiarity has the disadvantage of putting you on the defensive if you set interpersonal limits. If you set a limit, and someone presses for compromise, you need to be asking why. Walling yourself off won't help, because then every interpersonal event involves excessive compromise which retards your social ability and your ability to filter out real threats from minor inconveniences.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion