Surrogacy ? How do you feel about it?

fergus51 · May 23, 2004

I've only worked with 2 couples using a surrogate. In one case it was a family member (I think the sister, but it could have been the cousin) of the wife that carried for the couple. They were great and caring and happy. In the second case, the couple didn't know the surrogate beforehand, they were hooked up through an agency or something. They were also very comfortable with eachother and it was a great experience. I would be a surrogate for a couple. I think it's a nice thing to do.

IMTechnology · May 23, 2004

The thing that got me to wondering about gestational surrogacy was a web page created by a couple looking for someone to carry their child.

It makes your heart beat a little faster to see what kind of people are looking ~ not just celebrities, but really great people like these:

http://www.babiesandmiracles.com/

fergus51 · May 23, 2004

My own parents had trouble with infertility, so I know how great some of these couples are:) I would be a surrogate in a second for someone I knew.

SmilingBluEyes · May 23, 2004

I think if all parties are agreeable, and legalities worked out well in advance, it is an absolute win-win situation for all involved. How can it NOT be?

BabyRN2Be · May 29, 2004

I really don't have a problem with surrogacy. It's the gift of a miracle to someone who can't have a baby on her own.

As long as lawyers are sought, a contract is worked out, everyone is on the same page with potential problems such as the surrogant uses IVF and gets pregnant with high order multiples, would termination take place to ensure the babies and mom's life? Everyone needs to be on the same page about this and other issues. This is not something to be done lightly. But if all is worked out throughly, I really don't see anything wrong with this.

Actually, if I was a little younger and I didn't have some other health problems, I would consider doing this for a couple who couldn't have children. My church would have a fit though. I'd probably have to leave town for a little bit until the babies are born and I get my pre-pregnancy figure back, but I'd do it.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · May 29, 2004

I couldn't be surrogate and i wouldn't do it. I wouldn't ask or want someone to do this for me either. I want children someday. If something's physical abnormal with me that i can't have children, then i will try my best to adopt. And i'm seriously considering trying to adopt, anyway. (once i'm more settled)

For anyone else, it's NOMB, and i'm not going to ask about it unless it's pertinent to pt. care.

camay1221_RN · May 29, 2004

If everyone is on the same page, and all the legalities are worked out beforehand, then I would go for being a surrogate. I loved being pregnant and I loved my delivery experiences.

I know, there are some who ask, "How could you give the baby up?" If it is an implanted embryo from another couple, then it was never mine to begin with, so giving it up would not be an issue. Would it be sad? Yes, you can't help but get attached to the little life growing inside of you.

Could I do it if someone asked me? I could, but I think my husband would have a few words about it.

Still Riding · May 29, 2004

I have a great respect for poeple who are able to be serrogate, unfortunatly I don't feel that I could do it because i'm not strong enough. I'd like to think that if people i truely cared about asked, that I could do it...but I'm not sure I could.

In an ideal situation I think that it could be very benificial for all involved.

Energizer Bunny · Jun 5, 2004

I have considered being a surrogate and would still do it if someone I knew really needed one. I would want to be able to have contact with the child to a point...such as, if it were my friends I was helping. Just to know that he or she was okay, etc. and to have some sort of a part of their life even though I wouldn't be related in any real way...does this make sense or am I not explaining myself well? Probably not...I'm too tired.

BRANDY LPN · Jun 5, 2004

Before my best friend had any children of her own she considered being a surrogate for her mother, I told her I didn't feel like she would be strong enough to carry a baby for nine months then give it up and not try to interfere with raising it, so she decided to wait until she had at least one child of her own before committing, and after she had been pregnant she decided she wouldn't be able to do it. I know I wouldn't be able to, like someone else said I am just not that strong of a person. I think it is great though for those who are able to, It is the greatest gift you could possibly ever give another person, but I personally would look for a surrogate who had delivered at least one child so that they fully understood what they were getting into. JMHO

PegRNBSN · Jun 7, 2004

"think if all parties are agreeable, and legalities worked out well in advance, it is an absolute win-win situation for all involved. How can it NOT be?"

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We had a very sad case of a couple and surrogate where the baby had severe problems. The couple backed out of the agreement, the surrogate didn't want the baby and it ended up in the court system. We never heard how it was resolved. The baby was in foster care awaiting the decision.

We had another case where the surrogate had to have a hyst after post partum hemmorhage related to placenta previa. It doesn't always work out well for everyone involved.