Sure to Get Flamed for This

Time to don the fireproof underwear. It is 0500 and the reality alarm clock is ringing, and some people do not like to hear it go off. So whether you agree with me or not, I feel it is time to inject a little thought provoking ideas into your life. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

I am sure I am about to get flamed for posting this, but I feel the need to anyways. I have been seeing these threads talking about bullying and teachers or preceptors hating the students, and new nurses or abusing them because of some perceived slight or injustice. Well guess what?

The world is a hard cold nasty place that does not need to be polite to you or worry whether your feelings got hurt and you feel offended. You need to grow up and realize that the abuse that you claim is rampant, or the bullying that you experience all the time is not their problem, but rather your problem.

I see so many posts about this and I wonder how some of these people have survived as long as they have. School is tough? Deal with it. You think that someone else is getting it easier? Well too bad, they may be but no one ever promised you everything would be fair. You have to learn that there is inequality in life. It's how you overcome that inequality that matters. It teaches perseverance.

Abusive teachers? Maybe they are trying to get the best in you to come out. What you think is abuse maybe is pushing you to your limits, to get you further along in your potential. So your feelings got hurt at school, grow up, feelings get hurt every day.

Your preceptor is unorganized and does not like you and bad mouths you to your manager, and all your patients love you but no one at the hospital sees how great you really are?

Well your preceptor may actually have great time management skill, but when having to slow down and teach someone their job, things do tend to get disorganized. You may be part of the blame there.

Did you ever stop to think that you are the proverbial monkey wrench in a well oiled machine? The need to teach you, and I realize you do need to learn, can be very time consuming. They may tell your manager that you need improving or that you are not advancing fast enough. They may be all smiles to you, because they want to support you and keep you positive, but they need to tell the manager how you really are.

Speaking of orientation, how often have I seen statements that say the other nurses are not supportive and will not answer questions. Have you ever thought that maybe you are asking TOO MANY questions?

After a bit it may seem that you are not retaining the info provided and everyone gets tired of answering the same questions over and over. Part of learning is knowing when to shut your mouth and just watch. It has been said by people wiser than me that the only question you should ask is the question that you already know the answer to. If that does not make sense to you, think about it for a while and you might just be surprised that a light comes on.

So basically what i am saying is grow up and act like the adult that you are. Life is not fair, school is not fair, work is not fair. You just have to learn to deal with it.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

Half the world's population has a below average IQ -- Ruby Vee

༄❀Proud member of the Crusty Old Bat Society

I'm sure you didnt mean to insult half the world's population either...

it is whatever you think it is... after all you are from the crusty old bat society...

instead seeing that i said go to a lawyer

gave an example to get your facts from the right source

made a comparison....between orifices

and then mentioned we are off topic- for the badger cant let it go...

and now the old bat jumped in-- (your words)... this thread is not about assaults or legal terms

but how you old bats go at it... let it go- life is too short--- 6 hours until the next shift

treat people nicer later

Okay . . . so you DID mean it to come across as nasty as it sounded. Carry on.

Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.
I'm sure you don't mean for this to come across as nasty as it sounds.

Oh, but I think she did!!!

Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.
You want legal info- go ask a lawyer not a cop---

His definition is wrong - guess that's why lawyers make the big bucks

i wouldn't ask a dentist for proctology information or an exam...

even though B.S. come from both.

besides you are going off topic- buckybadger?? name fits. gooday..

Assault and Battery legal definition of Assault and Battery Just for fun.

Specializes in Emergency Room.

Deleted- doesn't contribute in any substantive way to the discussion-unnecessary fluff

Specializes in Emergency Room.

Words have meaning. The use of the word "violence" in the context of "lateral violence" or "horizontal violence" should be reserved for things like pushing people down stairs, shoving people into beside tables, gunning down co-workers because of some perceived slight, etc. In fact, I will go so far as to extrapolate that some individuals who resort to ACTUAL violence may feel justified in doing so after hearing that "bullying" = "violence." Add to that a simultaneous perception that any correction or criticism or difference of opinion or clash of personality qualifies as bullying, and you may find a perfect recipe for escalation. If it doesn't result in physical wounds that bleed or bruise, it isn't violence. It may very well be aggression. It may very well be abuse. It is NOT all violence, so let's stop calling it such.

Specializes in Emergency Room.

My favorite examples of assault and battery, from a nurse perspective:

assault: (Actual statement made to a patient by a nurse) "If you don't give us some urine in this cup, we are gonna have to hold you down and take it from you with a catheter."

battery: (Actual event that ensued) That same nurse calling security and other nurses who restrained the patient (who was refusing to submit the specimen and vehemently refusing to be cathed) while the nurse stripped off his pants, and cathed him.

The threat is the assault. The execution of the threat is the battery.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Disagree with the above post when it comes to the pt having "an accident". It will come around and bite ya. Legal advice is best to the lawyers, not us. Hang in there, OP.

Specializes in Emergency Room.

The post wasn't referring to any patient. The poster was referring to a co-worker. At least that's how I read it. Nevertheless, what you said is also true in the case of a co-worker.

Specializes in retired from healthcare.
But there ARE plenty of times when it is actual bullying. Even if the aggressor would like to call it constructive criticism...

What really kills me is the slander that goes on. If it isn't slander I don't get quite so upset but instead just try to improve.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Academics.

Half the world's population has a below average IQ -- Ruby Vee

༄❀Proud member of the Crusty Old Bat Society

I'm sure you didnt mean to insult half the world's population either...

Did you miss the fact that, statistically speaking, half the world's population does have a below average IQ? You know, the normal distribution curve, median/mode/mean, and all that stuff.

As a teenager and in my 20s, I was wildly sensitive, took everything personally, was considered "slow", "ditzy", "unprofessional", "asks too many questions", "says the wrong thing at the wrong time", "too hyper", "annoying", you name it, I was considered that by others. I was very bright. I just had a very rough go from the start (abusive childhood, etc).

I am now 30 and still wildly sensitive, but I love who I am. I was none of those things that people said I was. I have integrity, I have an excellent work ethic, I am extremely reliable and competent. My interpersonal skills are remarkable, I have a very proactive and positive attitude . . . I am very self aware, have good communication skills and I am highly empathic toward others. There is much more. I believe that I am those things, not because I am great, but because of the role models that so selflessly reached out their hand to me. And I thank God every day that I had those very few teachers, coworkers, bosses, and friends who took me under their wing, accepted where I was at and encouraged me to grow.

I will never forget the unconditional love and kindness they showed me. They actually took the time to get to know me and build a relationship with me. And I will always show that same example to others for as long as I live.

It is my firm belief that upper management should have enough sense to distinguish the heart of a teacher and pair new nurses with them.

Appreciating employees, praising their progress, treating them well and investing in their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health has been proven to create very successful and productive businesses!

No flames here, but as a new nurse I have no intention of being abused for the rest of my career. It is important for nurses to stop allowing ourselves to be bullied by the system. This thought process is what has allowed nurses to be mowed over by big business, and silenced our voices as professional. I am not a child, a work horse, or a martyr. I am a nurse who demands respect. If you want to be used by a corporation and keep your complaints to yourself, go ahead. The only thing that will help nurses come together and make changes to a broken system, however, is the act of speaking our minds and not bowing our heads to people who have shown that healthcare can turn you into a monster if you allow it.