Time to don the fireproof underwear. It is 0500 and the reality alarm clock is ringing, and some people do not like to hear it go off. So whether you agree with me or not, I feel it is time to inject a little thought provoking ideas into your life.
I am sure I am about to get flamed for posting this, but I feel the need to anyways. I have been seeing these threads talking about bullying and teachers or preceptors hating the students, and new nurses or abusing them because of some perceived slight or injustice. Well guess what?
The world is a hard cold nasty place that does not need to be polite to you or worry whether your feelings got hurt and you feel offended. You need to grow up and realize that the abuse that you claim is rampant, or the bullying that you experience all the time is not their problem, but rather your problem.
I see so many posts about this and I wonder how some of these people have survived as long as they have. School is tough? Deal with it. You think that someone else is getting it easier? Well too bad, they may be but no one ever promised you everything would be fair. You have to learn that there is inequality in life. It's how you overcome that inequality that matters. It teaches perseverance.
Abusive teachers? Maybe they are trying to get the best in you to come out. What you think is abuse maybe is pushing you to your limits, to get you further along in your potential. So your feelings got hurt at school, grow up, feelings get hurt every day.
Your preceptor is unorganized and does not like you and bad mouths you to your manager, and all your patients love you but no one at the hospital sees how great you really are?
Well your preceptor may actually have great time management skill, but when having to slow down and teach someone their job, things do tend to get disorganized. You may be part of the blame there.
Did you ever stop to think that you are the proverbial monkey wrench in a well oiled machine? The need to teach you, and I realize you do need to learn, can be very time consuming. They may tell your manager that you need improving or that you are not advancing fast enough. They may be all smiles to you, because they want to support you and keep you positive, but they need to tell the manager how you really are.
Speaking of orientation, how often have I seen statements that say the other nurses are not supportive and will not answer questions. Have you ever thought that maybe you are asking TOO MANY questions?
After a bit it may seem that you are not retaining the info provided and everyone gets tired of answering the same questions over and over. Part of learning is knowing when to shut your mouth and just watch. It has been said by people wiser than me that the only question you should ask is the question that you already know the answer to. If that does not make sense to you, think about it for a while and you might just be surprised that a light comes on.
So basically what i am saying is grow up and act like the adult that you are. Life is not fair, school is not fair, work is not fair. You just have to learn to deal with it.
Can we lock this one up yet? This is the deadest of dead horses. And the next time it rears its decomposed head we can just link right back to this one and we can all save ourselves a cr@pload of time? Surely no one actually has anything new to offer, do we? "The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see." - Winston Churchill. True that.
Yes, I too participated and even made it to page 17; it's the proverbial train wreck that for some reason I keep clicking on, yet get so disgusted at the nastiness that I wonder what possessed me. Anyone remember the 1970 song by Lynn Anderson, "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden"? Great lyrics, couldn't be more appropriate (substitute the word "love" for "nursing"), no matter on which side of the fence we reside. This is nursing, this is life, we can't make people behave in the way we would like. Can we move on to a road less traveled? Like safe staffing ratios? ADN vs. BSN? Social media in the workplace?
I would minus the ADN vs BSN and 86 that one too...insert successful transition from novice to expert and strengthening using nursing theory and practice at the bedside and application in helping the transitioning of of nursing generations for safe, competent and effective practices, and becoming a stronger body for lobbying effective policy-making BY NURSES and I'm THERE with you!
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I'm pretty sure thirty-eight years ago, the nurses were saying the same thing about your generation as you are talking about my generation. I've posted this quote numerous times, but here we go:
"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for
authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place
of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their
households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They
contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties
at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers." -Socrates
I've seen that quote multiple times. The thing is, though, 38 years ago, no one whined about being "bullied" every time they were corrected or someone didn't like them or things didn't go the way they wanted. While I'm sure that there were times my mentors wanted to drop kick me off the planet -- and sometimes expressed their frustration in terms that were less than pleasant -- most of us young'ins realized that we were in much need of correction, education and mentoring. We expressed the utmost of respect for those crusty old nurses -- and would have been immediately slapped down if we hadn't. We took the correction, extracted the nuggets of useful information from the tirade about our stupidity in flooding the soiled utility room with human waste or raising the brand new electric bed to it's highest without checking to see that the attached IV pole didn't punch out the over bed light fixture or simply blowing the stopper out of the penicillin bottle by injecting too much air (again) and let the rest roll off our backs. Even when we newbies were gathered around a pitcher of margaritas and a basket of chips, when we talked about our nurse mentors, it was with respect. I don't remember ever complaining or hearing someone complain "she was mean to me" or "she's a bully." Instead, we bemoaned our own ignorance and professed our intent to be as competent one day as they were.
"Bully", "lateral violence," "horizontal violence" and "nurses eat their young" are all relatively recent buzzwords. And while I'm sure that the internet has been flooded with "literature" and "studies" about bullying in nursing, I suspect it has more to do with a dearth of ideas or subject matter for real or useful nursing research than it has to do with there being any more bullies or violence in nursing than in any other field. Doctors research viruses and surgical techniques and pharmaceuticals, nurses, it seems, research interpersonal relations in a higher proportion than other disciplines seem to. Hence the plethora of "documentation" about how nursing is seething with young-eating, crusty old bullies.
It's a shame, really, that real bullying has been so devalued. These days it seems to be more about "nothing is every my fault" than it is about your boss shoving you into the furniture, the other nurse keying your car, the RT perched on the bridge with a handgun shooting at nurses arriving at work or any other real violence.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Can we lock this one up yet? This is the deadest of dead horses. And the next time it rears its decomposed head we can just link right back to this one and we can all save ourselves a cr@pload of time? Surely no one actually has anything new to offer, do we? "The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see." - Winston Churchill. True that.
Yes, I too participated and even made it to page 17; it’s the proverbial train wreck that for some reason I keep clicking on, yet get so disgusted at the nastiness that I wonder what possessed me. Anyone remember the 1970 song by Lynn Anderson, “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden”? Great lyrics, couldn’t be more appropriate (substitute the word “love” for “nursing”), no matter on which side of the fence we reside. This is nursing, this is life, we can’t make people behave in the way we would like. Can we move on to a road less traveled? Like safe staffing ratios? ADN vs. BSN? Social media in the workplace?
Thanks a bunch...now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I think we should start a drinking game. Every time someone hollers "NETY," or uses the terms "lateral/horizontal violence" or "bullying/nurse bullying," we do a shot. It'll be kind of hard to know who winds up on the floor first, but it could be interesting.
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
I think we should start a drinking game. Every time someone hollers "NETY," or uses the terms "lateral/horizontal violence" or "bullying/nurse bullying," we do a shot. It'll be kind of hard to know who winds up on the floor first, but it could be interesting.
You had to suggest this on a night when I'm on call and have to be stone cold sober. Can we just make this an everyday thing and then see who needs a liver transplant first? Besides, with shots I'd probably be on the floor after just two.
I think we should start a drinking game. Every time someone hollers "NETY," or uses the terms "lateral/horizontal violence" or "bullying/nurse bullying," we do a shot. It'll be kind of hard to know who winds up on the floor first, but it could be interesting.
And anyone who's ever babysat or parented a toddler or an adolescent knows what that means-- "Testing, testing, does she really mean it?"
Yes, she does. Do not back down, do not crumble, do not fold-- on the time out, on the curfew, or on the bad behavior. Or else your rampant two-year-old will be a terror when he's five, your fifteen-year-old will be out til past dawn with god knows who, and the bully will keep it up.
But I'm not not talking about toddlers, or adolescents. I'm talking about adults in the workplace, who can have protectors in high places, have no problem going over peoples' heads to get what they want, and know they are untouchable.
I assume you have never worked in an environment where "Don't talk to me like that" or "stop telling me I need Jesus" or "stop leaving trash on my desk" was a treated like a declaration of war.
But I'm not not talking about toddlers, or adolescents. I'm talking about adults in the workplace, who can have protectors in high places, have no problem going over peoples' heads to get what they want, and know they are untouchable.
But not everyone who is an adult, acts like adult; so dealing with people that have probably not successfully went through Erikson's stages is wore apt to respond to GrnTea's solution, along with reading up on dealing with challenging behaviors; it is certainly worth trying; it has certainly helped, along with those therapeutic techniques learned in Mental Health, those transcend past that subject and patients, to our peers, and to our family members too, at least in my experience.
I think we should start a drinking game. Every time someone hollers "NETY," or uses the terms "lateral/horizontal violence" or "bullying/nurse bullying," we do a shot. It'll be kind of hard to know who winds up on the floor first, but it could be interesting.
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
I think we should start a drinking game. Every time someone hollers "NETY," or uses the terms "lateral/horizontal violence" or "bullying/nurse bullying," we do a shot. It'll be kind of hard to know who winds up on the floor first, but it could be interesting.
Hey, I'll get the ball rolling for those of you playing tonight:
In my list of mandatory online education for work, one is about lateral violence in the OR. Guess they're trying to improve the workplace environment and decrease perceived bullying that isn't really as much of a problem as some people seem to think it is. Seriously, my manager said something to me about someone who was offended that I didn't say good morning to them this morning. Well, it was early, and they were speaking from behind me on my right side, where I suffer from partial deafness. Being slightly sleepy and not giving the extra attention to my weaker side as I normally do at work (not yet in patient care areas), I didn't hear that person say anything. And because someone was a little too sensitive, I get called on the carpet .
Hey, I'll get the ball rolling for those of you playing tonight:
In my list of mandatory online education for work, one is about lateral violence in the OR. Guess they're trying to improve the workplace environment and decrease perceived bullying that isn't really as much of a problem as some people seem to think it is. Seriously, my manager said something to me about someone who was offended that I didn't say good morning to them this morning. Well, it was early, and they were speaking from behind me on my right side, where I suffer from partial deafness. Being slightly sleepy and not giving the extra attention to my weaker side as I normally do at work (not yet in patient care areas), I didn't hear that person say anything. And because someone was a little too sensitive, I get called on the carpet .
:roflmao:
.
LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN
8,429 Posts
I would minus the ADN vs BSN and 86 that one too...insert successful transition from novice to expert and strengthening using nursing theory and practice at the bedside and application in helping the transitioning of of nursing generations for safe, competent and effective practices, and becoming a stronger body for lobbying effective policy-making BY NURSES and I'm THERE with you!