Stupidest reason to go to ER

Published

ER Nurses/MD's etc.

I am currently writing a "paper" on stupidest reason for someone to come to ER.

ANY input you can send me would be much appreciated. IF you'd like a copy of the FINAL draft, let me know.

THANKS in advance!

PS. My winning entry so far is:

A woman who brought 1 month old baby in at 2:30 (AM of course) because "it won't look me in the eye, It doesn't recognize me!"

Not kidding

1) Mom comes in at 0300h with a two month old "my baby's foreskin is too long" we took a look just as the kid sent a perfect stream of urine arcing into the air...sure it can be a concern...but how long had mom been awake worrying about this.

2) Kid's legs were turning blue, had been out in the rain and when he came in and stripped down for a bath, mom noticed his legs were a shade of blue. Rushed him to the ER...we washed the dye from his new jeans off of his legs and sent them home.

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Gosh, you know parents mean well and are (hopefully) only thinking in the best interest of their children. But, I want to know why you have to get a license to get married--even to fish, but anyone can have a child.:nono:

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Glaucoma pt, that is legally blind, milking his pet rattlesnake and gets bitten on both hands.

20 y/o man suffering from self-inflicted GSW to abdomen trying to get bullet out of live cartridge to make necklace.

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Ok, here are a few from peds.

My baby had a temp of 113. (hon, did you take that with a meat thermometer?)

Vomicking and running off?

She hasn't come on. (young adolescent they thought was pregnant)

Chapped lips x7 - every single kid in the family

Wnat to know if this is chicken pox - yes it is - well she needs to be seen by the doctor

Fever - did you give Tylenol - no I wanted to make sure you saw it.

Is the baby on any medication?

Just that Pedi delight.

How old is the baby?

She must be 9 days old - she will be two weeks old tommorrow! (and what planet are you living on?)

I could go on.................

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that reminds me of a guy that came at least 6 times with a similar complaint--via ambulance of course. a little dementia on board. the other problem was that he popped his nitro pills like they were candy and the cure all pill. so, naturally when he came in the 6th time (after being told on his last hospital stay that the foot was gangrenous and needed to be amputated and the patient refusing) he had 3-4 nitro patches to his affected leg. he really was a sweet man, if you caught him on a good day :) the irony was that after he died (weeks later) the family established a fund for the ambulance.

i hope i win!

"my foot looks funny!" via rescue.

55 year old man with a 30 (thirty) year history of this "problem" with his foot.

denies pain.

no swelling, redness, skin is intact without history of injury.

cms is intact.

guess what? then why?

what? - that's right! a bunion!!! (and a thirty year old one at that!)

why? - "well, you guys have a 30 minute guarantee and i didn't have anything else to do!"

no, i'm not kidding. i don't even have a sense of humor about such things. and he didn't have insurance - i only rarely look - but i did on this patient.

discharged to home. no xray. no meds. attempted patient education - but, i gave up. no point.

;)

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Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.

Well, mine was the mom who brought her kid in with pinkeye. She had insurance and preferred to pay the $50 ER deductible rather than taking time off the next day.

Doesn't hold a candle to belly button lint, though.

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

I remember this one from years ago, when I was working in an ER as an admitting clerk.

I was checking this young woman in, and she blabbed her concern at me even though she had just said it all to the triage nurse.

"We got drunk and had sex. I forgot I had a tampon in. I went feeling for it, and it's not in my coochie. Do you think it could be in my stomach by now?"

TMI for the admitting clerk!

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I never get sick of hearing these no matter how many old threads there are on this board. I want to share in the stupidity that I like to call, JOB SECURITY!

"Walking outside and saw a bat fly by. I want a rabies shot."

"I was visiting my neighbor upstairs. The nurse took my blood pressure and it was 132/80." My reply: How do you feel? Patient: Fine I just thought that was a little high.

"I have an appointment for an MRI."

"I was having sex with my boyfriend and I got really hot and could feel my heart beating all through my body, and I had These like jerky movements, do you think it was a seizure?" This is my favorite. Consider yourself lucky honey, you just had an orgasm.;)

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Specializes in CCU, ED.

I would like a copy of this paper. Some of my experiences are:

3 am visit from a male who said his girlfriend had "trich-a-something"

10 week pregnant girl with vomiting who wanted her baby checked, because it had to be vomiting also.

tongue piercing gone wrong, the round key chain she used got stuck.

A man who got his member stuck in a swimming pool return on a dare from his friends (they left him there by the way)

headlice

waiting until sunday afternoon to come because they ran out of their BP, pain, or diabetic meds. (not calling the family md when seen they were getting low)

"I did not want to bother my family doctor"

"I do not have the money to go to the doctor's office" (the ED is free you know)

"While I am here with my child, I guess I will be seen for this pain I have had for years"

You can't make these things up, nothing suprises me anymore.

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Specializes in Cardiology, Pulmonology.

Hiya!

I'm an R/N from south africa.

The stupidest reason I have ever seen for admission to our ER was a guy complaining of a blood nose. Pure old Epistaxis. So the guys did a routine Chest xray....only to find this:

http://www.freewebs.com/496cfonline/May1.jpg

When they looked at the xray and found the broken off tip of a steak knife in his chest, everyone panicked!!! OMG!!! Look at the knife!!! Get the cardiothoracic surgeons!!!!!

The guy looks up and says...yeah, it's been there for a year....please just fix my damned nose so I can go home!!!

Needless to say, the guy did NOT go home!!!

:nono:

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Specializes in ER, Oncology, Travel Nursing.

Parents - "Our son threw up his supper and there was blood in it"

Me - What did he have for dinner?

parents - spagetti

me - wants to bang my head against the cabinets...priceless!

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Specializes in Retired NICU.

i asked my friend to contribute...he's an er doc, and pretty fed up with what comes into the er....

i want a copy of your paper, i'll send it on to my friend....:lol2:

my most recent one, was a guy in his 20's who presented with the complaint that he wanted to get checked out because he was sure something was going to happen to him sometime that week. several have called the ambulance with some bogus complaint, only to jump out and run away once it arrived at the hospital. they used it merely to get a free ride to that side of town. some come right from clinics to get a "second opinion." they are all medi-cal patients who can't be forced to pay, and can't even be asked about monetary matters until they've been evaluated per federal law.

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