Stupid hospital/company tricks

Nurses General Nursing

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The stupid nurse trick thread and some of the abusive policies cited in the getting fired for being late/calling out thread have triggered me to start this thread. What ludicrous policies have been put in place where you work or have worked, what was the rationale for the policy, and what was the result?

My example:

One hospital I used to work for tried to force the nursing staff to bake cookies for the patients using what looked like a cross between an easy-bake oven and a toaster oven. Cookies were to be offered at....you've guessed it...7pm. Yes, right at change of shift. They also wanted us to DOCUMENT offering cookies. Predictably, this new mandate was met with howls of protest from nursing, which were entirely ignored.

The ovens went to each floor except ICU to "make the hospital feel welcoming and increase patient satisfaction." The already busy nurses often burned the cookies, or ate them during report, as they had not had time for a break all day. The majority of our cardiac patients were also diabetic. The floor smelled often of burnt cookies. The staff was resentful. A few months later, the cookie ovens disappeared, never to be mentioned again.

I used to work nights on an OB floor. The postpartum rooms surrounded the nursing station. As often happens, the patients sometimes complained about the volume at 2 am at the nursing station. So the nurse manager installed a huge streetlight thingie - it was about 2 feet tall, and had a red, yellow and green light. If the volume got louder, it would go from green to yellow, and louder still, from yellow to red. When it went to red, a very loud alarm would go off.

Then we started getting complaints about the really loud alarm that would go off at random times throughout the night. After a couple months, the streetlight went away.

I remember one of those where I used to work! Had to change the sensitivity setting for each shift, as the noise level obviously differed between 11am and 11pm. Pretty much hardly ever changed it at night (who on earth remembered??) and when we did have it at the acceptable setting, invariably the IV alarm in the room nearest the device would set it off....so not only did the IV alarm wake up the patient and his roommate, but the whole floor got to enjoy the event---not. It, too, went the way of the Dodo!

I don't want to post too many details about it, but the short version is: having nursing and laboratory staff re-paint the walls (inside and out) when low on patients.

Yes, seriously. I booked it out of there so fast.

Specializes in Oncology.
I don't want to post too many details about it, but the short version is: having nursing and laboratory staff re-paint the walls (inside and out) when low on patients.

Yes, seriously. I booked it out of there so fast.

My hospital doesn't believe in downstaffing. Ever. We haven't ever gone to that extreme, but they have assigned nurses to help with filing and such on the rare occasion we're low census. I don't care. I make the same money for easy peasey work.

Specializes in med, surg,trauma, triage, research.

I laughed out loud when I read your thread AOx1 guide! I cannot believe this is what you were to do! What's next frying onions to sugget a lifestyle that doesn't exist? Time to get back to reality surely... I can think of some basic things that patients might not want to smell but are necessary to good health ....... still laughing !!!!

My hospital doesn't believe in downstaffing. Ever. We haven't ever gone to that extreme, but they have assigned nurses to help with filing and such on the rare occasion we're low census. I don't care. I make the same money for easy peasey work.

Filing, organizing storage areas, cleaning -- I don't mind, at least it's somewhat tied to patient care, in that I need to know where all those things are and/or have to use them frequently.

But painting, repairing furniture, dealing with plumbing (beyond a simple plunger in the toilet) -- to me, that is work that should be done by the professionals, because I don't want to be responsible for it. I have accepted responsibility for the patients under my care, I don't want to be responsible for someone who walks into wet paint and gets mad or has their chair fall apart because I didn't put the screws in right.

(In writing this post, I've tried to define to myself why I view those as two separate areas, and I find I'm still struggling a bit. I guess part of it is also the expectation going in to the job: I have had jobs where I build, paint, etc. But when I'm hired for nursing, I want to be doing nursing, y'know? And I don't want my patients to see me on a ladder out front beforehand.)

A couple of gems from my previous unit and manager-

- Manager was obsessed with keeping two visitor chairs in each room so that the unit will be more welcoming and family-oriented. We are not talking about small chairs. We are talking about big honking armchairs that crowd our already small rooms that are meant for two patients. She would actually go around each room, count the number of chairs and get all upset if we took a chair out to make space for equipment or to lend to another family.

- My hospital had a big HCAHPS rally/contest/inane event thing. Each unit was assigned a cutesy sports-themed name. Floor nurses were recruited to be HCAHPS cheerleaders and asked to decorate their units according to their team names. Said floor nurses, perhaps not knowing exact shade brown of bull---- they signed up for, were regularly pulled from bedside care for HCAHPS "huddles" and pep talks. Guess where one of the rah-rah-rah! huddles was held?

Right outside the room of my patient who had just died. The room had a big leaf sign (which is the symbol of loss) and weeping family members.

I told them where they were, and to kindly GTFO and move.

Oh and what was the prize for winning this event?

If your unit improves HCAHPS scores after six months, you get a free pizza party!

Oh, hospital, you spoil us.

But, other than a few stupid moments like these, I am very happy where I work.

Baking cookies at change of shift?! Are you serious?????:arghh:

Specializes in SICU.

A newly designed ( cannot fathom the cost) unit. Patients had spacious , private suites. Fresh flowers and newspaper delivered every day. Room service for each meal. Don't forget the spa quality white terry cloth robes. ( hopefully .. no GI issues involved.)

Still not enough nurses ( they cost money ya know) to provide adequate NURSING care.

Less than one year later.. the facility closed to inpatient services. The beautimous floors and private rooms remain... and are empty.

A minor one that died a quiet death:

Our hospital also had a contest on who can reduce their linen use the most, but offered no guidelines or even a foggy idea if we are wasting linen. As far as I could see, we were not being ballers and throwing linen on the floor like so many bottles of Cristal. My coworkers and I had fun coming up with tips though-

- Don't bathe your patient. Let them be au naturale.

- Use printer paper instead of washcloths.

- Have patients share blankets. Now they've made a new friend too.

What was the prize in the end? Yet another pizza party lol

Specializes in Float Pool-Med-Surg, Telemetry, IMCU.
I remember those stupid hourly rounding sheets outside the doors. The manager would go through them when the policy was first implemented. The nurses would sign all twelve spaces at the end of shift.

Then the managers probably got burnt out on checking up and the whole stupid idea (thankfully) died out.

I think we work at the same place. ;-)

Specializes in Inpatient Oncology/Public Health.

This is an awesome thread. Laughing so much at the cookie ovens and the streetlight to keep noise down with a loud alarm(makes so much sense!)

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