Stubborn students

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This has happened before, but never with a student quite as insistent as the one I had this morning...

Girl comes in 8 minutes after the day has started and goes on and on about how she feels sick. No fever, no vomiting. She asks to call home. I tell her she can call and let mom/dad know how she is feeling but that she CANNOT ask to be picked up and that once mom/dad make a decision- the decision is final.

She calls and proceeds to argue with her dad on the phone for 12 minutes when he says she needs to get back to class. She is crying in my office and refusing to go to class. I was stern with her and told her she had to return. Took a while, but she left. she asked if she could use the bathroom and I told her that if she puked, I needed to see it and she decided not to. She never went to her class, but went to the bathroom instead. Came back to my office, begged to call dad again, I gave her a 3 minute limit. She continued to argue with dad. I was thinking I was going to need an administrator to intervene.

How do you handle these students?

Specializes in School Nurse.
Was there something else going on? Maybe in class? Something going on at home?

I was thinking the same - counselor referral

Plus you are new to that school and she was probably trying to throw some weight around. Obviously it backfired.

This is probably pretty common nowadays. Just did a class trip to Great Wolf Lodge and was amazed how some of those kids talked to their parents. My kids stared, waiting for the punishment that never came.

My struggle is that my parenting style and my exhusbands are very different. He is (IMHO) very childish himself. For example, this past weekend the kids were with him and he was upset with my oldest daughter (11 years old) and broke an art project she was working on as a punishment in his anger. She and I met with a counselor for a while and he came in for a session and after he left the counselor said he was the most irrational person she's ever met. Validating, sure... But doesn't fix the fact that I have to (attempt to) co-parent with him.

Not that I'm a perfect mother by any means, but I think a lot of the disrespect my kids sometimes show is a reflection of their father's temper and general disrespect for everyone.

Specializes in IMC, school nursing.

of course, they model what they see. Sorry to hear you and they are enduring this. Kids are most often a product of their parenting, that said, I have seen poorly parented kids excel and well parented kids crash and burn, but I believe that parents get what they deserve. Praying that you can be the voice of reason in this situation and keep it civil.

of course, they model what they see. Sorry to hear you and they are enduring this. Kids are most often a product of their parenting, that said, I have seen poorly parented kids excel and well parented kids crash and burn, but I believe that parents get what they deserve. Praying that you can be the voice of reason in this situation and keep it civil.

Thank you. I know that the best I can do is keep setting the best example that I can and not let my frustrations take over.

I am thinking of looking into family counseling for myself and all three of my kids. It's so difficult to go it alone day after day. Luckily, I do have a very strong family support from my mom and sisters.

Specializes in IMC, school nursing.

I have nothing but positive to say about family counseling. We have a "pseudo" foster kid who lives with us and we did counseling and lots of positives. Now he is doing individual, and that scares me as we delve into what is really at the core of his anger. Necessary, but scary. I can't imagine going it alone, thankfully you have support, know way too many that don't.

I have nothing but positive to say about family counseling. We have a "pseudo" foster kid who lives with us and we did counseling and lots of positives. Now he is doing individual, and that scares me as we delve into what is really at the core of his anger. Necessary, but scary. I can't imagine going it alone, thankfully you have support, know way too many that don't.

There is a lot of anger inside my daughter. It tears me up inside. I hate that the divorce, which was one of the best things to ever happen to me, is so awful for my kids.

My oldest is to the point where she does not want to go see her dad anymore. But I have to work while they go there, so I can't let her stay home on his weekends. It must be awful to be 11 and know that you are SUPPOSED to want to be with your dad and know that you don't want to and not have the emotional maturity to express that.

And... now I can't wait to hug her after school. :)

Also- Thanks for the support- I just need my new insurance cards and I hope to look into a family counselor ASAP

Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.
In working Child and Adolescent Psych from time to time, I've noticed that a lot of the admissions come from school.

Child and Adolescent units are always low in census during Holiday and Summer breaks.

From my perspective, it seems that some Professionals-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named tend to either cause an escalation in behavior or over react, resulting in an inpatient admission.

Of course, kidzcare is not one of those Professionals-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named and did not cause an escalation in behavior or over react. But some Professionals-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named really know how to stir the Schlitz.

You know?

Hey, I resemble that remark, sometimes I don't stir.

My sister is divorced with three kids who all go to counseling and it's been very helpful for them. Their dad can be difficult to put it mildly and since he and my sister have 50/50 custody, it's a safe place for the kids to talk and they've come up with some compromises on various issues.

I was very sad when my sister told me that one of her kids doesn't want to go to their dad's but there is nothing that she can do since it's not abusive there or anything like that just lots of rules/regs over there.

Specializes in School nurse.
I get the parent on the phone and tell them the kid is refusing to return to class. What do they want to do about it? Come to school and escort them to class, pick them up, or let me refer them to an administrator for a discipline referral? Or...I can give them one more brief opportunity to talk to the child and convince them to return to class on their own - brief.

Yes, I agree wholeheartedly. You've done your part and the student cannot disrupt the office like that. Make it the parents decision if your not getting anywhere.

Hey, I resemble that remark, sometimes I don't stir.

You always stir. Always.

(((((kidzcare)))))

Those 7th and 8th grade girls will kill you, huh?

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