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Discussion

Stubborn students

This has happened before, but never with a student quite as insistent as the one I had this morning...

Girl comes in 8 minutes after the day has started and goes on and on about how she feels sick. No fever, no vomiting. She asks to call home. I tell her she can call and let mom/dad know how she is feeling but that she CANNOT ask to be picked up and that once mom/dad make a decision- the decision is final.

She calls and proceeds to argue with her dad on the phone for 12 minutes when he says she needs to get back to class. She is crying in my office and refusing to go to class. I was stern with her and told her she had to return. Took a while, but she left. she asked if she could use the bathroom and I told her that if she puked, I needed to see it and she decided not to. She never went to her class, but went to the bathroom instead. Came back to my office, begged to call dad again, I gave her a 3 minute limit. She continued to argue with dad. I was thinking I was going to need an administrator to intervene.

How do you handle these students?

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    • Expert

    I get the parent on the phone and tell them the kid is refusing to return to class. What do they want to do about it? Come to school and escort them to class, pick them up, or let me refer them to an administrator for a discipline referral? Or...I can give them one more brief opportunity to talk to the child and convince them to return to class on their own - brief.

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    • Author
    How old is the student?

    7th grade... Listening to her side of the conversation makes me think she's a real peach to deal with at home...

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    Had this happen once, kid actually sat and ate his lunch in front of me while saying he had to throw up. Demanded I call his father (we have 7 anchors of behavior that guide everything, so strike 1) and then refused to go back to class when asked (strike 2), so off to administrator he went. He ended up inpatient PSY hospital and then inpatient school as his behavior continued to spiral. I do not hesitate to refer to admin as disrespect is zero tolerance here.

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    • Author
    I get the parent on the phone and tell them the kid is refusing to return to class. What do they want to do about it? Come to school and escort them to class, pick them up, or let me refer them to an administrator for a discipline referral? Or...I can give them one more brief opportunity to talk to the child and convince them to return to class on their own - brief.

    This is good. I will do this next time. I often do something similar as far as making sure the students hear me when I talk to their mom/dad about resting for a few minutes and returning to class.

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    Was there something else going on? Maybe in class? Something going on at home?

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    • Expert
    He ended up inpatient PSY hospital

    In working Child and Adolescent Psych from time to time, I've noticed that a lot of the admissions come from school.

    Child and Adolescent units are always low in census during Holiday and Summer breaks.

    From my perspective, it seems that some Professionals-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named tend to either cause an escalation in behavior or over react, resulting in an inpatient admission.

    Of course, kidzcare is not one of those Professionals-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named and did not cause an escalation in behavior or over react. But some Professionals-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named really know how to stir the Schlitz.

    You know?

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    All my student calls to parents are done using speaker phone. This way we can make a plan together… (also cuts down on my illness not having all those kid secretions dripping onto my handset).

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    In working Child and Adolescent Psych from time to time, I've noticed that a lot of the admissions come from school.

    You know?

    I had one other student that was fine here end up inpatient, his brother said he escalated at home.

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    • Author
    Was there something else going on? Maybe in class? Something going on at home?

    She was very insistent that she was just not feeling well. I wouldn't be surprised if there were mitigating factors (classmates, a forgotten assignment, three-day-weekend-it is) but I could tell from the way she spoke to her father that she is used to getting her way.

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    I could tell from the way she spoke to her father that she is used to getting her way.

    This is probably pretty common nowadays. Just did a class trip to Great Wolf Lodge and was amazed how some of those kids talked to their parents. My kids stared, waiting for the punishment that never came.

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    • Expert
    Was there something else going on? Maybe in class? Something going on at home?

    I was thinking the same - counselor referral

    Plus you are new to that school and she was probably trying to throw some weight around. Obviously it backfired.

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