Stressed and Anxious New Grad

[NewMSNRN]

Hey guys!

I'm here to vent/need words of encouragement (I know there are already a million threads devoted to new nurses that feel this way, so I apologize in advance).

First, let me give you a little background information. I have a bachelors degree in psychology and it wasn't until several years after I finished my bachelors that I decided to go to nursing school (some major events occurred and I discovered that nursing really was my passion). I enrolled in an accelerated MSN program for students that had bachelor's degrees in other fields. I graduated with a 4.0, won awards, etc. etc. I passed NCLEX the first time in 75 questions. I was absolutely thrilled to be an RN and I couldn't wait to care for patients and share my love of nursing with others.

I started orientation in April on a busy tele floor. Things were going well at first even though I felt fairly clueless still; I expected to feel this way so I pushed through it. After a few weeks orienting to days, I switched to orientation on night shift. My first three shifts on nights were great; much better than days since things weren't nearly as crazy and there weren't a million other people on the floor working with patients. I was feeling confident and then all of the sudden, BAM! Something changed. I have never been so stressed/anxious/nervous in my entire life. Nothing happened at work to bring this on; it just happened. This past week or so, all I have done is cry and sleep and question whether or not nursing is really for me. I've lost the drive and the passion that I once had for nursing. I'm even having a hard time connecting with my patients; this has never been an issue for me in the past! I'm feeling physically ill even on my off days knowing that I have to go back to work. Even when I'm just doing vitals and assessments, my heart feels like it is going to beat out of my chest. I've never had issues with anxiety like this.

I seriously feel like I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I'm not making the connections I should be making and I feel as though I have NO nursing judgement what-so-ever. For example, I had a patient that had a positive guaiac that was receiving lovenox. In nursing school, I would have recognized immediately that the patient should not receive the lovenox. Now that I'm on the unit, I missed this (my preceptor caught it and we discussed calling the physician to have the order changed).

Sigh... I just feel stupid; I have NO idea what I'm doing! The other new grads on the floor seem like they're doing great and don't seem stressed in the slightest. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but I just can't help it; I feel like I'm drowning even though I felt fine a few weeks ago.

Hopefully this post made sense... I feel like I was sort of all over the place.

Thanks in advance for advice/words of encouragement.

[annmariern]

Lot of new grads on my floor lately fall into two categories. The know it all, nothing is their fault, everyone is supposed to take care of me kind. And the ones that are polite, ask for help and advice, thank you for it and come and see if they can help you out if you've helped them. The latter are the ones who get the help. We all started in your shoes. I clearly remember that helpless feeling. Nursing has become so much more complicated. My advice, accept your not going to know everything. Spot the people on your floor, even the cranky ones who have experience and use it. Using the criteria listed above. You can not do it alone. And give yourself a break, never forget we are all always learning something new.

[Everline]

I can relate. I am just starting my first nursing job and I am feeling quite anxious and I leave work feeling pretty miserable. Obviously, I can't tell you how to feel better, since I don't know how to make myself feel better. But I can say that my approach right now is to just take it one shift at a time and look forward to them all adding up to me knowing something and feeling a bit better one day. I have no idea when that is going to happen. At this point, I dread going into work but I just keep pushing myself to go. I hope we can both feel better soon.

[Jules A, MSN]

Do you think it has anything to do with the night shift sleeping change? Its strange to me that all the sudden someone who sounded confident, as if they truly enjoyed nursing school and their first few stressful weeks of being a RN would suddenly become as depressed and anxious as you are now.

[tsm007]

Well, I totally feel for you. You still have a job so you must be doing somethings right :). I just was told that I wasn't working out on my unit so you're one step up from me. I've decided that I'm going to brush myself off and keep moving. Eventually I'll have enough experience if I keep trying. That's all you can do! Hang in there.

[NewMSNRN]

Thanks for the feedback, annmariern. I absolutely accept that I do not know everything and I'm more than willing to ask for help if needed. I think one of my challenges now is that I just don't know what questions to ask just yet lol

[NewMSNRN]

I can relate. I am just starting my first nursing job and I am feeling quite anxious and I leave work feeling pretty miserable. Obviously, I can't tell you how to feel better, since I don't know how to make myself feel better. But I can say that my approach right now is to just take it one shift at a time and look forward to them all adding up to me knowing something and feeling a bit better one day. I have no idea when that is going to happen. At this point, I dread going into work but I just keep pushing myself to go. I hope we can both feel better soon.

I hope so too! Ah, I can't wait for the day that I finally feel confident walking into work. Good luck to you!

[NewMSNRN]

Do you think it has anything to do with the night shift sleeping change? Its strange to me that all the sudden someone who sounded confident, as if they truly enjoyed nursing school and their first few stressful weeks of being a RN would suddenly become as depressed and anxious as you are now.

I considered the change to nights being a factor as well but I don't think that it explains everything that I'm feeling. I shouldn't be this miserable so soon, right? I'm still getting 8 hours of sleep a day and still making time for family and friends.

[NewMSNRN]

Well, I totally feel for you. You still have a job so you must be doing somethings right :). I just was told that I wasn't working out on my unit so you're one step up from me. I've decided that I'm going to brush myself off and keep moving. Eventually I'll have enough experience if I keep trying. That's all you can do! Hang in there.

I'm so sorry to hear! I'm honestly afraid the same thing will happen to me!

The way I look at it though is that if a unit won't take the time to work with their nurses to make their nurses better/stronger/more confident, etc, then some other unit will :)

Best of luck to you. I'm sure you'll be amazing.

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

Do you have a new preceptor on nights?...that could make a difference.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I'm thinking the switch to nights is a big factor. Even though you are getting 8 hours, your Circadian rhythm is off. Whatever the cause, the physical manifestations of anxiety must be reported to you doctor.

[~PedsRN~, BSN, RN]

Hang in there! This feeling will get better. :) My first year was a crazy up and down rollercoaster of feeling confident and like I could DO this - and then there were days where I literally had a feeling of doom going in to work. Just be willing to learn and ask questions.