Start a family VS nursing school

Fiona59 · Jan 13, 2005

Afraid I'll ruffle a few feathers, but I'd say either go to school and finish then have a family or have a family and wait it out. My youngest was six when I went back to school.

They are only little once and those moments can't be replaced. No matter how good your child care arrangements (even if its family) they are still learning other peoples values and morals. Oh, I sound just like Dr. Laura :angryfire

Children are a privilge not a right. I've never understood why some women will go on about how "children make me complete" and rush back to work as soon as possible. They are not a fashion item to be kept for a few years, but a full time responsibility for 18 years. Yes, I know they are much easier once they are in full day school, but they still need their parents some times.

So, figure out your finances because they all change once you have to factor in infant stuff, preschool items, they are a never ending list of things....

JVanRN · Jan 13, 2005

I Dont have children yet and I'm done with school...so maybe I have no right commenting...but here goes anyway....I tend to agree with Fiona too

School itself is almost a full time job in itself. There are plenty of people in school that have full time jobs and/or families in addition to school and they make it just fine. But I think to try to start a family in the middle of all that is added stress. So if you have a choice and are planning I would say work on one thing at a time if that's possible. But some of the best students seem to be the ones with families and tons of other commitments. I totally admire those people. So really it's up to you. Good luck in whatever you decide.

JudithL_in_NH · Jan 13, 2005

It will be much easier to go to school if you do so before you start a family. Nursing school involves long hours and lots of stress--not a great mix with first-time motherhood.

I know a student who is pregnant and just dropped out, for medical reasons, in her final semester. She was due during Spring break and hoped it would all come together, but the physical and emotional stress was too much for her and she (appropriately) chose what she and her care provider thought was the best course for the baby on the way.

Seriously, since you're at a point where you can make this choice, go for either the family, or school --and do the one you choose to the hilt.

I view nursing as a great job for a mom--very flexible hours, decent pay even for part time hours--and I'd really recommend finishing school, then starting the family.

I did it the other way around, then waited until my youngest was 8 to go to school (Husband out of town a lot and no family at all to help out--so I didn't see how I could do it until my three kids were at least somewhat "launched" and all in school). My children do complain, quite vocally, that they do not get the "Mom time" from me they once did. I "joke" that they'll remember my years in nursing school as the "black years," when mom was never around, the house was never clean, and we ate few decent meals. (Husband still out of town all the time and still no family to help out, so the kids and I are on our own).

People do manage pregnancy, small children, and nursing school. If you have a great support system, then maybe it can work out for you.

Best of luck in whatever you choose!

RN-2006 · Jan 13, 2005

Hi everyone, I am new here. What a great forum!!
I am thinking of going to nursing school but know little about it. Hubby and I want to start a family in a year or 2 and I will probably be in the middle of my school. I am pretty worried if I can handle the heavy workload and the stress. Can anyone share their experience?
Thanks. I hope one day I could be a nursing student then a caring nurse like many of you.

:) Hi! I am currently in nursing school and expect to graduate in May of 2006. I am also a 30 year old, married mother of 3 children. I have been plugging away at college basically ever since my youngest was born 4 1/2 years ago. It has been quite a balancing act between school, study time, family, kids activities, etc....you get the point. Nursing school is very competitive and extremely demanding - including lots of hidden hours that you may not have planned on when starting the program. It is also an amazing experience as well. And on the flip side, I have friends who have had children during the program and were able to jump right back into school...however, this is not typically the case. My advice to you would be to make your choice now - either start your family and when your child/children are of school age, consider going to nursing school or hold off on the family until you finish your degree. Best of luck with whatever you do!

RN-2006

LadyK82 · Jan 13, 2005

There are many people in my program that have young children and are in nursing school. We even have one girl that is 6 months pregnant and is in her second semester. It can be done. I'm sure you've heard about how stressful nursing school is and how it totally consumes your life... if you put a family into that equation it's even harder. While you can do both, it may be best to decide which one is a priority at this point in your life. Kudos to all the parents that are in nursing school! Good luck with your decision.

sprtbikegrlsv65 · Jan 13, 2005

here is a suggestion...i'm currently pregnant (totally accidently!) so therefore i did not take my acceptance to nursing school in PA, my DH is in the Army and i know he will be leaving for a year. SO./.. my mom has offered to baby sit after the baby is born and i'm going to just do the LPN program first. Full-time is only 11 months where i'll be going from 230pm - 10pm...luckily with DH in iraq i don't have to work so during the day i'll be with my son, and at night i'll work...once DH gets back from iraq i'll probably go part-time through the LPN/RN transition classes and work part-time...finacially this worked better for me since we made too much money for me to get grants or any fin-aide. but after the baby comes, and with DH;s extra pay for war time i'll be better able to handle school/family, instead of school/family/and work....just a suggestion!

some people say that doing it this way is the LONG way, but instead of looking at it like that i see it as a great stepping stone to learning!

e_pigpig · Jan 14, 2005

Thanks you so much for all the replies. I am so touched by getting supports from you guys. I will rethink about this with my DH. My plan now is just go ahead finishing my prereq. classes first which might take me at least a year.

Thanks again.

TifRN2B · Jan 14, 2005

Hi... guess I'll add my 2 cents....

I'm married and my husband and I are so excited about when we start a family. But we decided it would be best all around to wait until I graduate before planning a pregnancy. #1 is finances. With a nursing income, and my husbands income... even if I'm part time... we won't have to stress about making ends meet, and our baby will be well taken care of. #2 I couldn't even fathom going to nursing school and having a baby at the same time. My time is accounted for by the minute! There are so many hours (as someone else mentioned..hidden hours) you put into nursing school... prep time for clinical, research, studying, paperwork, ect. It would deprive your child of time they need to spend with you. I now have 11 months left of school and I daydream about the day I can say "bye bye birth control pills!" But if your husband makes ends meet alone enough for a family and you really can't wait... I'd put off nursing school until your kids are all in all day school. The first 5 years of child development are the most important and they'll need their mother around as much as possible.

Anyway... good luck to you in whatever you decide :)

Tif

allnurses Guide · Jan 14, 2005

Get your education first.

steph

kesneysmom · Jan 14, 2005

Well this is what I did, I have had my LPN for 8 years my little girl is now 3. I work as a school nurse so my hours are great. I am currently doing excelsior college to get my RN and I don't feel like I am sacrificing anything. I study when I can and it works well. I dont know your age, that may be a factor for you. Just way the pro's and con's, realize what kind of support system you have and you and your husband make a joint desicion together you know your family and limits best. Good Luck in whatever you do!!

Another twist to think about. I know alot of women that once they have a baby, the want to be stay-at- home moms. I don't know if that is an option for you but some women take one look and will do and sacrifice everything to stay home. :)

Hooligan · Jan 14, 2005

I wish I could add my $.02 cents in here but I'm afraid I can't. I'm currently in my 6th month of pregnancy and am supposed to start my final semester of an ADN program. I only have to finish Critical Care, Psych, and Role Synthesis. Instead of graduating this May, I will have my baby, wait a year and finish next May. When DH and I started, we went in with the idea that I may have to postpone graduation by a year but to me, it was worth it. I'm thrilled that I'm expecting. To me, a family has always been more important than my career. I'm not saying it will be easy when I go back to school...but it will only be for a short time.

Nursing school will always be there...the opportunity to have a child will not. I don't know your financial situation, age, or medical hx, so I cannot say what I would do in your situation...I made my decision and I have no regrets. Every time I feel my little girl wriggle around, I know I made a great decision and I can't wait till May to finally meet her! Good luck with your decision! It's the most important one you'll ever make!!!

~Bean