Staff Needs

Yup, just a had a teacher tell me they were headed to  my office...I was in the cafe getting my lunch.

I asked if I "could get my lunch"? 

"Sure!"

So I get my  lunch as she waits for me.  I ask "What's up"?

She replies  "I'm too lazy to go upstairs to get Advil for my headache...."

For real....I cannot make this poop up some days

 

Oh I forgot... I also have recently had two male teachers who requested eye drops and then proceeded (separate incidents) to act super dramatic about instilling them. One told me that he had never used eye drops before. Another said he "may have to ask for my help." ABSOLUTELY NOT. Call your wife if you need a helping hand. 

Last week a teacher came to me to describe all of her GI issues in detail and wondering if something is "going around" or if it was the salmon she ate 3 days ago. She also told me that the baking dish the salmon was in smelled really bad so she soaked it in hot water for a few days and then there were long stringy things growing in the water and "Could it be a parasite? Oh I hope this isn't a parasite! That would be awful!"

I just kinda gawked at her. Lady, something is always going around, food poisoning usually hits within 12hours of consumption, and there is NO WAY I'm looking at your poop. Go to your friggen doctor. 

And today, a para tried to file an incident report against an autistic student, claiming the arm injury she incurred trying to lift him off the ground was his fault. A) You are not allowed to lift students who are not wanting to be lifted, it is a form of restraint and B) You chose to lift him. Nothing he did caused you to hyper-extend your arm, you did it to yourself. 

5moreweeks5moreweeks5moreweeks...........

This very morning a staff member asks me for a bandaid for himself.  I hand him one and he says, "I got bit by my dog this weekend." I can see a small wound on his index finger.

I ask no questions, not even the reason why an adult man with a full-time job and awesome health insurance can't procure his own bandaids or medical advice. 

"I got bit by my dog!"  That's a bummer. 

"What should I do for it, do you think?"  Hopefully you washed it?  Keep it clean, make sure your tetanus is up to date, go to the doctor right away for any increasing redness/swelling/drainage; you might need antibiotics.  Mouths are full of bacteria and funk.

"Tetanus? Will I get tetanus if I don't get the shot?  I don't want to get shots."  Well, it's good to have tetanus up to date anyway.  If you get the Tdap it also helps protect the babies in your family from whooping cough.  It's covered by our health insurance too.

"But will I really get tetanus though?  I don't think I really need a tetanus shot.  I'm not getting that.  But I won't get tetanus, right?"  twomoreweeks twomoreweeks twomoreweeks twomoreweeks

 

1 hour ago, jnemartin said:

Oh I forgot... I also have recently had two male teachers who requested eye drops and then proceeded (separate incidents) to act super dramatic about instilling them. One told me that he had never used eye drops before. Another said he "may have to ask for my help." ABSOLUTELY NOT. Call your wife if you need a helping hand.  

HA!  I've had this twice as well.  My answer was:  "If you can't get 'em in, they're not going in."

Ok, Im not a school nurse, but i lurk in your threads. I love this one. Appalling and entertaining at the same time.

I had a staff member ask me to help him put in his new contacts.

HARD NO!

I don't do eyes, I don't wear contacts. I can teach kids how to use an eye cup, I can administer eye drops to a cooperative recipient, I can strongly suggest you see an eye doctor, but I don't do contacts!

 

The last week of school, both office assistants came in and asked for their blood pressure to be checked.  They had had it with the principal.  I would normally say no, but I bend a little for the office girls.