Social sorority and nursing school.

[Prettyladie]

hi allnurses.com

I just wanted to get some views and opinions about being in a sorority and being in nursing school. I don't want this to vary off topic like some of my other posts have =) but I just want to know how someone in a social sorority, not Phi Theta Kappa, or Simga Theta Tau, but social sororities. Nothing against those that I listed, but those are more geared to nursing school and academics. I know my priorities and they are in order, so please don't try to lecture me on, well you should focus on school etc. I know. I know if that I see my schedule and I cannot do both, I'm definitely not going to let my school suffer. I know that there are some ladies on here who are in a social sorority who do both. So my question is how to do you manage your time? How does your sorority deal with your time committment in nursing school? How did you handle the related stress that comes along with being in a sorority. I'm asking these questions because I want to be more involved on campus and in the community of my school. I will be relocating to a different area and I would like to have an impact. And fyi, yes I am a mother of young child, and he is my first priority, then school and a sorority if I have time. Being a mother and a student is very challenging and might be difficult, but I know I can do it, so like I said, please dont let this drift to something its not. The particular sorority I have a strong interest in doesn't mind the fact that I'm a mother with a young child. I just want to know how you manage your time, how you focus on school. Do you attend all of the events that your sorority hosts, etc?

Thanks

Prettyladie.

[RNBelle]

Anyone can do what they want when they want. You say you will have a semester of nursing school under your belt before rushing. I think that will give you ample opportunity to see if you can balance nursing school, family and any other interests you desire. Try it out. I got a biology degree first and rushed with a sorority. It wasn't my thing so I quit but others loved it and balanced things. You will be busy, no doubt. If you can keep your grades up, enjoy your family and be in a sorority, why not? But if any thing starts to slip - grades, problems at home, then maybe the sorority should be the first to go.

[BreatheFree]

Something to consider is that your son is currently 3 months old. That is the easy age. Things will be different when he turns 7 months and 1 year.

[tfleuter, BSN, RN]

Well I guess my opinion won't help you much b/c I've never seen the attraction of a sorority in the first place. Sounds like a huge time commitment and to have to pay dues on top of that? I've managed to make some fairly solid friendships w/out a sorority and they seem to be a lot more forgiving when things like school and family have to come first. At least they don't charge me any fees when I have to cancel on girl's night out

This is 2009 and women have proven that they can perform more than one task at a time. In fact, they've been doing it all along. Why can't you?

Actually, that's not the point at all when it comes to working mothers. I don't think anyone here is questioning whether a woman can be successful outside the home, but rather the question begs, at what point does the child become affected? It's 2009 and children still need their parent(s) to be around as much as possible. The thing about quality time is that it does require TIME. Can the OP figure out a way to physically schedule school, sorority, study time, ect? I'm sure she can. But at what point does all this hussle and bussle start affecting her child? I'm sure no one here can say, but it's worth bringing up none the less. Doesn't have to be a judgemental thing, rather just something to take into consideration.

Sorry Prettyladie, I know this doesn't answer your question and I truly hope you can find that balance in your life so you can be happy too! Happy moms lead to happy kids, so it's definately important to take care of your needs too.

[studentnursetx87]

Wow, Prettyladie as I read the responses to your OP, it makes me feel a little confused. I rushed in 06 while at the university I attended. There was no hell week but it was extremely hectic. I am no longer at the univerisity I pledged at but I will never forget the experience!:yeah:I do agree with the post that was comparing this thread to what was stated about Sarah Palin. And shame on those :angryfire who have posted discouraging posts who have not actually gone through pledging! I would take their opinion with a grain of salt. Just because you have a child does not mean your life ends, I myself was raised by a single mother who worked two jobs true, I was a latchkey kid but she put me through 13 yrs of private schooling and a year of attending a private university. She wanted me to have a better chance of obtaing a higher education than she did that was her goal, my point is that she had a goal in mind, she was focused and driven and she completed that goal, thanks to her hard work even though she wasn't with me every waking moment of my life I was the first person in my family to graduate with a college degree. :redbeathe

So I said all of that to help motivate you that if you think you will have the drive to complete all of your current goals then go for it! And if it turns out it wasn't for you then you will always have the experience of rushing, and some of the sorority life. And I think it is awesome that they are welcoming to your child, sounds like you picked a great sorority!

Good luck!

[IzzyTheRN08]

I say if this is something you want..go for it! :)

I recently graduated from my BSN program in Dec '08, I was an active member of my NPC recognized sorority from '06-'08. I was even the philanthropy chair (during which time we won awards recognizing all of our community service!). I definately think greek life is something that has impacted my life for the better--I think it has made me a better nurse. I am better able to interact with people with all types of personalities, deal with conflict, and most importantly time management. Yes, there were times when I didn't get much sleep, I didn't study enough for a test, but I graduated with a 3.8...I busted my ass in the sorority and in school--put my whole heart into both of the things that I loved. My sisters understood when I couldn't participate in certain chapter events due to school requirements, they stood by me when I thought I'd never make it to graduation. They were my backbone throughout nursing school. Yes, I was super tight with most of my classmates too (as one person said--your class is like their own sorority), but it was also nice to have a peer group outside of nursing, so I wasn't constantly focused on the field and had sometime to "relax". Suprisingly, out of the 55 members of my class, 5 of us were greeks--we all did well and we all were able to participate in our sororities. I think the best thing is to be open to the sorority during recruitment, tell them that you are worried, do they have programs in place to help you (like academic buddies or library hours?)...I'm sure that they have things set up to help you! I hope that this helped...I didn't mean to brag I just wanted to point out that you can be a high achiever in the classroom, but also be active in greek life! :) Best of luck to you!

[Magsulfate, BSN, RN]

Again, it always surprises me when a person asks for opinions and when negative opinions rear their ugly head, people get upset and don't want to hear it.

I'm sure that you can do anything you set your mind and heart to. Go for it.

But, you do need to listen to the mothers posting. Your baby is so small now, but when they are a teenager, you will look back and maybe you will wonder where all those years went, and maybe you won't. Maybe you will have memories of your child, or maybe you'll have pictures that someone else took while you were gone.

I've had both.

When I watch videos of my now 18 year old son, videos that my parents took while I was out on the town, living it up as a teenager myself,, I sit there with an empty feeling in my gut, sad, and yearning for those moments that I never had with my baby. Why wasn't I there?

There is a reason why mothers are posting their opinions here, and it's not to talk you down, it's not to make you look like a bad guy. It is to help you realize what precious time you have with your child now, and how it will disappear, just like the wind,, and it will go by so fast.

Do what you want, I don't know you,, and I don't really care what you do. But if you were me,, asking the same question .... If I could tell myself 18 years ago,, I would say,,, do your best at succeeding in school, and don't take one second with your child for granted.. because she won't always be there,, one day she'll grow up and have a life of her own,, you'll no longer be able to hold her in your arms and rock her,, she'll be gone.

[BreatheFree]

I completely agree with Mag!!!!! The time with kids goes by so quickly. There is a saying that the days are long but the years are swift. It is so true. However, since you seem to be determined to do this my suggest would be to find out EXACTLY what your time commitment will be with the sorority and make a mock schedule. I doubt you will be able to bring your son to every event. Are you willing to sacrifice that time with him? Only you can answer that. And yes you can study with him home but that is not going to be quality time for him. Also at three months a child is very easy to take places. But when he starts crawling a walking it won't be that way. He will be disruptive and he will get into things. Also I know you said you found someone to babysit but is she going to want to watch him all day and then in the evenings when you have events you can't bring him too? Also when will you find the 10-20 hours (sometimes more) to study? I am not trying to discourage you but trying to give you something more to think about.

[Aneroo, LPN]

I haven't read all of the posts.

I'd got with a service sorority. I was in one (Gamma Sigma Sigma). Our priority was service. A majority of our sisters were nursing or education majors, so you'd have peers that you could study with also. The community service aspect of it looks good on a resume also. We had several members that were married or had children.

And just because we were a service sorority didn't mean we didn't go out and have fun like the rest of them- we could throw down. We just did community service first. :)

ETA- I'm a mother myself. I'm a member of a moms group. I *NEED* the adult interaction (beyond what I get from work and class). I'm a miserable person without my adult friends that I can go out with and have a good time, without trying to entertain my spouse or making sure my toddler isn't putting food up her nose or in her hair. I love my child, and cherish the moments with her, but Mommies need adult time too, and if a sorority is how you chose to do it, then do it.

[RNKPCE]

I think time will determine what you will be able to do. This time next year you will have finished one semester of nursing school and you will know what those demands are, you will have been away from your child more than you probably have now and will determine if you want to increase that time and you will have a 15 month old who will be walking and getting into all sorts of stuff and you will be able to determine if this is all doable.

But as a previous poster state don't discount what others have said that have completed nursing school and have raised a child beyond 3 months of age.

Nursing school is so hard to get into, you've earned it, don't stretch yourself too thin. Best of luck.

[nursepink2]

This was a very tough time. In a way I felt guilty for not being able to be with my child but in another since this was my time to be a college kid again. I had my parents who were understanding and new that this sorority was one that I had wanted to join since I learned of their existence. It was 3 long months. The ladies were somewhat accepting of me being a mother, but made it clear that in life we must make sacrifices. I took this in stride as I do all things in life and realized that this too would pass. After I crossed, it was much easier. I was able to bring my daughter to chapter meetings sometimes, but did not like to make it a habit because the attention sometimes was mainly on my daughter and not on the business at hand. Then there was nursing school. Because of the rigors of school and being a mother, I spent less time being active in my chapter. This was understood by my sorority because one of our main focuses is AKAdemics. My community work was done by donating clothes to the Women's Shelter here in my home town and helping at church. So in a way I was still "being of service to all mankind."- our moto. And yes my sorority is one of the NPHC.

[Prettyladie]

good morning everyone. since last nite there have been lots of good posts with very helpful information. im going to talk about certain things that i remember instead of quoting the entire post because that will take up too much space =) im still verrrrrrry interested in this sorority. ive definitely listened to the mothers, to the ones who have rushed, and to the ones that havent done either. i look at it this way. my child will never go hungry, my child will always have clothes on his back..my child will know me. i dont think a sorority will take up so much time to where when im at home my child runs because he doesnt know this strange person. my son knows me. i also dont think that im an idiot either. i know that if the sorority takes up time from me being a GOOD parent, then ill leave. i know parents just drop their kids off with people and they will be gone for a weekend and come back. i dont just plan to "drop" my child off when its conveniant for the sorority. i mean this is just something id like to do. a lot of people have been criticizing the sorority but i think that a lot of the people who are, think that the sorority that i want to rush is a NPC sorority which is predominately known for partying with frat boys etc. and that stereotype is wrong too. how do any of you know that im not trying to rush a sorority that is predominately known for their good grades, and study hours, and etc. there is a NPCH sorority that is that, and most of them are as well, you have to maintain a certain gpa. so i dont think ill suffer, because that will not only be EXTRA motivation, it will be something fun. but like i said time and time again, its mama, student, then relax. i think we all have different styles of parenting. i dont think i have to spend all of my time with my child to be a good mother. that doesnt mean anything. a lot of the mothers who have posted say they couldnt do it, well they also have multiple kids, and two jobs, or a full time job, and go to school and this and that...and i just have a lot less responsibility so i see that as a "break" in time to where i can add something else. so i see a sorority as "a full time job" so how do you do it. im not trying to be smart, im being serious. how do you balance, being mama, being a student and being an employee. thats basically what ill do. you cant take your child to work, or to school, so i see you leaving your child two different times, and i do too. once for school, and once if i have to go to a sorority function. thats just my opinion and thats how im responding to the mothers opinions. i appreciate everybody's opinion, and with each one i do sit and think hard. so anymore suggestions will help. thank you all so much.

[Prettyladie]

this was a very tough time. in a way i felt guilty for not being able to be with my child but in another since this was my time to be a college kid again. i had my parents who were understanding and new that this sorority was one that i had wanted to join since i learned of their existence. it was 3 long months. the ladies were somewhat accepting of me being a mother, but made it clear that in life we must make sacrifices. i took this in stride as i do all things in life and realized that this too would pass. after i crossed, it was much easier. i was able to bring my daughter to chapter meetings sometimes, but did not like to make it a habit because the attention sometimes was mainly on my daughter and not on the business at hand. then there was nursing school. because of the rigors of school and being a mother, i spent less time being active in my chapter. this was understood by my sorority because one of our main focuses is akademics. my community work was done by donating clothes to the women's shelter here in my home town and helping at church. so in a way i was still "being of service to all mankind."- our moto. and yes my sorority is one of the nphc.

i know[color=palegreen] exacttttllllllyyyy what sorority you're talking about =) and that is the kind of response that i'm looking for in regards to the chapter being acceptive of you being a mother. i know it will be tough at first, and like you said, once you crossed it got better. and thats what im hoping will happen with me. and lets face it i dont even know if i will even be selected but its good to get this all out in the open right now, and discuss my options. how many chapter meetings do you say you had a week. i hope that the chpater inquestion will be able to be as understanding as yours, and know that i do have a rigorous major and i am a mother, and if not, then i will try to do grad.