So ready to throw in the towel and it makes me sad...

[FiduciaRN]

hello all, i am in need of encouragement, as i get none from work. i was a float nurse at a small local hospital for a year. i learned a lot while i was there, but there was only so much to learn because it wasn't a trauma center and a majority of the pts were in the geriatric population and i basically saw the same things over and over again. i decided to branch out and get a job in the emergency department at a level one trauma center.

i feel as though a made the biggest mistake of my life and wanna quit nursing all together. my orientation was three months. the way this ed is broken up is that there is a main ed, non crit pts, a peds ed, an urgent care ed similar to a walk in clinic and the trauma/crit ed. i have been on my own about 3 wks right now and it has been nothing short of a disaster. there is no team work. a lot of laziness. tons of favoritism. i have been relugated mainly to the main ed which is fine, but i always seem to get pts that don't belong in that area. i thought i was doing a good job. my pts like me, i am pretty good at anticipating what the pts dx is gonna be. so i set up accordingly for the docs. the last three shifts have really had me not wanting to go back. infact i have been trying to get a job at my old hospital.

i know the day shift is busy and we just converted to a computerized system, but the things that i have been walking into. have totally left me disgusted. i take report on 5 pts. the previous rn has left me everything to do on these pts. out of the five, four had to be lined and labbed. some weren't even assessed and they had been there atleast four hours. no excuse. i let it go, did what needed to be done and that was that. the next night, i walked in and started off fresh. yet again i pick up 5 ppl immediately and have to totally work them up. as i am still pretty new to all this it took me a little time, but i knew who needed to be treated first etc.

about an hour into my shift the night manager tells me that i need to pick up my pace bc i'm to slow. too slow? the four other nurses on my side had 3 pts each and they were all admitted already. i was so upset, i took a minute to gather myself and tried to explain the situation and he didn't care. so i then pick up 5 more pts to get him off my back. still i was the only one running around like a chicken without a head.

noone communicates. i get a call from the or asking for report on my pt who was going for emergency sx. ummmmmm what?????? the er attending never even told me. he gave me the impression she was going home. so now i look like a jerk to the or. great!!!!! i rush to draw the type and screen, do the pre op check list and send her off.

at 630am some ppl feel as tho they don't need to pick up pts anymore. so yes i pick up the last two. i assess them, line/lab them and make sure that my relief has little to do bc i am giving off 8 pts to start their day. even if i was giving off just one i would make sure everything was done. i hate leaving things unfinished. it is not right and just plain lazy. i am in noway saying i am a super nurse, bc quite frankly i think i am a terrible nurse. the only thing i know i rock at is my relationship with my pts. they all seem to like me.

idk what to do? i am going to leave this job as soon as humanly possible. i go to work to work, not to socialize with my co-workers. i am there for my pts and their families bottom line. i try to make friends with the ppl i work with and they are so cliquey i feel like i am in hs. i cry everyday when i have to go in. sometimes i am made to feel like i am useless there. i hear people talk about me. i am usually a hot head, but i choose to ignore them bc again my pts matter, not these ppl who just wanna bash every new person who starts there. bottom line, one of the floors i used to float to at my old job wants me to work there.

problem is, as much as i loved the team work, my co-workers etc, i won't learn much, and will lose a lot of my rn skills bc it is a behavioral science floor. i am so torn. i love the work and learning in the er, just not the ppl i work with. i never realized that that is what can make or break you. it has broken me to the point that i want to give up nursing all together.

sorry for the extra long post, just needed to vent. thanks to all in advance!!!!! ; )

staff note: paragraphs have been added for easier reading.

[mamamerlee, LPN]

I just could not read this huge block of type.

Why do all the angry and sad people find writing in paragraphs so hard?

[secretlovers]

Sounds like a terrible work environment.

I work in an ER and the people i work with are all about pitching in and team work.

Perhaps if you love the ER maybe a different town or hospital?

I dont think you should throw in the towel. Sounds like you are a great nurse in the wrong place.....

[johnny depp23]

I just could not read this huge block of type.

Why do all the angry and sad people find writing in paragraphs so hard?

Why would you put something so negative like that on here. This is a place for people to help and learn from one another. If you didn't even read her story then WHY leave a comment?

Anyway- I feel for you baby girl. My advice for you is to hang in there and tough it out. It will pay off in the long run.

[krazievi3t6url]

Why would you put something so negative like that on here. This is a place for people to help and learn from one another. If you didn't even read her story then WHY leave a comment?

Anyway- I feel for you baby girl. My advice for you is to hang in there and tough it out. It will pay off in the long run.

My thoughts exactly! :yeah::yeah:

Hang in there! My heart goes out to you.

[Zookeeper3]

Why would you put something so negative like that on here. This is a place for people to help and learn from one another. If you didn't even read her story then WHY leave a comment?

Anyway- I feel for you baby girl. My advice for you is to hang in there and tough it out. It will pay off in the long run.

BECAUSE WE WANT TO HELP AND IT'S HARD TO READ AND YES I AM SHOUTING! I can't help if I'm struggling to gain the ins and outs of a thought process from the OP that could easily be fixed as paragraph form!!!!!!!

This is not, NOT too much to ask to hit the gosh forsaken enter key, takes one second. GEEZE!

[cecilsgirl]

this person had a bad day, why are you "dogging" her about the way she wrote, OMG- this is place to get some support, Sorry I don't work in an ER, but the best of luck to you.

[Zookeeper3]

Gosh dang, that was a doosey. and YES, YES I read that through the entire rant.

I did ER after 7 years, 7 years ICU and had my butt served to me on a platter. Once I gained my new organizational skills it was easier. So with 7 years in I still struggled. But what you describe is a normal ER... because the previous shift may have been coding, having 6 CT scans, moved all the admits out to do you a favor and now you have 5 new ones to triage the complexity yourself.... hmn.

Not condecending in anyway, but you're not ready to hang there. If you did it full time, I"m sure you would be an expert shortly.. because you're pulled there... you are NOT, WILL NOT AND CAN NOT be an expert and be comfortable with this.

The problem is not the facility, the problem is that with one year in, your expectations of YOURSELF are purely unrealistic. Until you change that, learn to ask for help and lean on the ER charge nurse to learn it won't change. Your peers are not there to make it easy for you, they have their own crazy load, but they can help you with the right can do attitude. I did it, it was hard... I know what your saying but it can be done. And then it's great.

[dthfytr, ADN, LPN, RN, EMT-B, EMT-I]

Fiducia, I strongly urge you to go work in another ER. The pain this one is causing you isn't worth it. In a healthy ER, the staff see all the patients as their work. They help each other. In a sick ER people only see their own patients and will let another nurse do the work of 3 nurses without offering to help. You obviously care for your patients in all senses of the word. You will be an excellent ER nurse in a healthy ER. Don't let this one destroy you. Via con Dios.

[dthfytr, ADN, LPN, RN, EMT-B, EMT-I]

BECAUSE WE WANT TO HELP AND IT'S HARD TO READ AND YES I AM SHOUTING! I can't help if I'm struggling to gain the ins and outs of a thought process from the OP that could easily be fixed as paragraph form!!!!!!!

This is not, NOT too much to ask to hit the gosh forsaken enter key, takes one second. GEEZE!

Maybe a little compassion for someone in distress? Or at least a little slack.

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

Hello all, I am in need of encouragement, as I get none from work. I was a float nurse at a small local hospital for a year. I learned a lot while I was there, but there was only so much to learn because it wasn't a trauma center and a majority of the pts were in the geriatric population and I basically saw the same things over and over again. I decided to branch out and get a job in the emergency department at a level one trauma center. I feel as though a made the biggest mistake of my life and wanna quit nursing all together. My orientation was three months. The way this ED is broken up is that there is a main ED, non crit pts, a peds ED, an urgent care ED similar to a walk in clinic and the trauma/crit ED. I have been on my own about 3 wks right now and it has been nothing short of a disaster. There is no team work. A lot of laziness. Tons of favoritism. I have been relugated mainly to the main ED which is fine, but I always seem to get pts that don't belong in that area. I thought I was doing a good job. My pts like me, I am pretty good at anticipating what the pts dx is gonna be. So I set up accordingly for the docs. The last three shifts have really had me not wanting to go back. Infact I have been trying to get a job at my old hospital. I know the day shift is busy and we just converted to a computerized system, but the things that I have been walking into. Have totally left me disgusted. I take report on 5 pts. The previous RN has left me everything to do on these pts. Out of the five, four had to be lined and labbed. Some weren't even assessed and they had been there atleast four hours. No excuse. I let it go, did what needed to be done and that was that. The next night, I walked in and started off fresh. Yet again I pick up 5 ppl immediately and have to totally work them up. As I am still pretty new to all this it took me a little time, but I knew who needed to be treated first etc. About an hour into my shift the night manager tells me that I need to pick up my pace bc I'm to slow. Too slow? The four other nurses on my side had 3 pts each and they were all admitted already. I was so upset, I took a minute to gather myself and tried to explain the situation and he didn't care. So I then pick up 5 more pts to get him off my back. Still I was the only one running around like a chicken without a head. Noone communicates. I get a call from the OR asking for report on my pt who was going for emergency sx. Ummmmmm what?????? The ER attending never even told me. He gave me the impression she was going home. So now I look like a jerk to the OR. Great!!!!! I rush to draw the type and screen, do the pre op check list and send her off. At 630am some ppl feel as tho they don't need to pick up pts anymore. So yes I pick up the last two. I assess them, line/lab them and make sure that my relief has little to do bc I am giving off 8 pts to start their day. Even if I was giving off just one I would make sure everything was done. I hate leaving things unfinished. It is not right and just plain lazy. I am in noway saying I am a super nurse, bc quite frankly I think I am a terrible nurse. The only thing I know I rock at is my relationship with my pts. They all seem to like me. Idk what to do? I am going to leave this job as soon as humanly possible. I go to work to work, not to socialize with my co-workers. I am there for my pts and their families bottom line. I try to make friends with the ppl I work with and they are so cliquey I feel like I am in HS. I cry everyday when I have to go in. Sometimes I am made to feel like I am useless there. I hear people talk about me. I am usually a hot head, but I choose to ignore them bc again my pts matter, not these ppl who just wanna bash every new person who starts there. Bottom line, one of the floors I used to float to at my old job wants me to work there. Problem is, as much as I loved the team work, my co-workers etc, I won't learn much, and will lose a lot of my RN skills bc it is a behavioral science floor. I am so torn. I love the work and learning in the ER, just not the ppl I work with. I never realized that that is what can make or break you. It has broken me to the point that I want to give up nursing all together. Sorry for the extra long post, just needed to vent. Thanks to all in advance!!!!! ; )

I learned during my time as a travel nurse that if you don't speak up about it at times like this, when its happening, then you'll become the donkey of the unit and find yourself in these situations day in and day out. What makes it worse is, managers will turn a blind eye to the improper assignment making and turn the ones who abuse you into heros. "Look at Sally, all her I/O's are done and she remembered to fill out the belongings sheet someone else missed. Why can't you do it too?" Nevermind that Sally had four patients and I had eight.............the eight worst patients on the unit to boot.

Unless you put the problem of improper assignment of patients in the lap of your manager (where it should be), it'll continue and you will never get any credit for carrying more than your fair share of the load. I often brought up the poor patient assignment making to the manager in the middle of, (sigh) another meeting about some obscure piece of paperwork no one does that I missed (but I was expected to because "You are a travel nurse and expectations are different for you.") I would conclude the meeting with a very calm tone but my meaning/point was as follows:

"I do understand this (tongue in cheek) paper is very improtant to you, I don't deny it's usefullness to the pt. care process (tongue in cheek so hard I am bruising my mouth). Unfortunately, I am unable to get to it due to the workload placed on me by your unit. I not only take the most patients, but I take the most acute and most disgruntled patients. Quality, with assignments like this, is bound to slip no matter how much I exert myself. If you wish for me to pay more attention to details such as (the form no one else does) I will need your cooperation with a more fair pt. assignment. Otherwise, I can sit here and tell you I am going to do it, but the reality is, it won't be done."

Some managers got the point and got on the charge nurses about assignment making. Some insisted such staffing practices did not take place on their unit (to which I always responded "Sure they don't, sure"), but they stopped worrying about (the form) not being done. One, yes, only one, called me out and said I was lying and said she was not renewing my contract. I giggled to myself as I recalled I had already booked my next assignment and resigning me was already off the table.

[steelydanfan]

The obstacles placed in any nurses way to completing a shift competently, safely, and thoroughly are myriad. They stem from poor institutional policy and management all the way down to unit cliques that sabatoge newbies.

All you can do is honestly assess your own performance for ANY weaknesses and make the best effort you can to improve them (within reason; a 1 yr grad is NOT to be held to the standards of a a nurse with 10 years on the job). Once that is done; document all the problem areas you see about you, and bring them up at staff meetings. You will soon learn whether you have a manager that wants to improve and problem solve or smooth things over with banalities by thier response in an open forum. (But you MUST document! This is the downfall for all of us, we are too tired, too disgusted, we just want to go home and forget it never happened. But without a paper trail, NOTHING will change, and your arguments hold no weight). Take your cues from that, and decide whether or not this job is worth the angst. This is SO hard, just know that alot of us who have been around for awhile STILL deal with EVERYTHING you have posted about. Heavens, your story sounds like what I went through today...