hello all, i am in need of encouragement, as i get none from work. i was a float nurse at a small local hospital for a year. i learned a lot while i was there, but there was only so much to learn because it wasn't a trauma center and a majority of the pts were in the geriatric population and i basically saw the same things over and over again. i decided to branch out and get a job in the emergency department at a level one trauma center.
i feel as though a made the biggest mistake of my life and wanna quit nursing all together. my orientation was three months. the way this ed is broken up is that there is a main ed, non crit pts, a peds ed, an urgent care ed similar to a walk in clinic and the trauma/crit ed. i have been on my own about 3 wks right now and it has been nothing short of a disaster. there is no team work. a lot of laziness. tons of favoritism. i have been relugated mainly to the main ed which is fine, but i always seem to get pts that don't belong in that area. i thought i was doing a good job. my pts like me, i am pretty good at anticipating what the pts dx is gonna be. so i set up accordingly for the docs. the last three shifts have really had me not wanting to go back. infact i have been trying to get a job at my old hospital.
i know the day shift is busy and we just converted to a computerized system, but the things that i have been walking into. have totally left me disgusted. i take report on 5 pts. the previous rn has left me everything to do on these pts. out of the five, four had to be lined and labbed. some weren't even assessed and they had been there atleast four hours. no excuse. i let it go, did what needed to be done and that was that. the next night, i walked in and started off fresh. yet again i pick up 5 ppl immediately and have to totally work them up. as i am still pretty new to all this it took me a little time, but i knew who needed to be treated first etc.
about an hour into my shift the night manager tells me that i need to pick up my pace bc i'm to slow. too slow? the four other nurses on my side had 3 pts each and they were all admitted already. i was so upset, i took a minute to gather myself and tried to explain the situation and he didn't care. so i then pick up 5 more pts to get him off my back. still i was the only one running around like a chicken without a head.
noone communicates. i get a call from the or asking for report on my pt who was going for emergency sx. ummmmmm what?????? the er attending never even told me. he gave me the impression she was going home. so now i look like a jerk to the or. great!!!!! i rush to draw the type and screen, do the pre op check list and send her off.
at 630am some ppl feel as tho they don't need to pick up pts anymore. so yes i pick up the last two. i assess them, line/lab them and make sure that my relief has little to do bc i am giving off 8 pts to start their day. even if i was giving off just one i would make sure everything was done. i hate leaving things unfinished. it is not right and just plain lazy. i am in noway saying i am a super nurse, bc quite frankly i think i am a terrible nurse. the only thing i know i rock at is my relationship with my pts. they all seem to like me.
idk what to do? i am going to leave this job as soon as humanly possible. i go to work to work, not to socialize with my co-workers. i am there for my pts and their families bottom line. i try to make friends with the ppl i work with and they are so cliquey i feel like i am in hs. i cry everyday when i have to go in. sometimes i am made to feel like i am useless there. i hear people talk about me. i am usually a hot head, but i choose to ignore them bc again my pts matter, not these ppl who just wanna bash every new person who starts there. bottom line, one of the floors i used to float to at my old job wants me to work there.
problem is, as much as i loved the team work, my co-workers etc, i won't learn much, and will lose a lot of my rn skills bc it is a behavioral science floor. i am so torn. i love the work and learning in the er, just not the ppl i work with. i never realized that that is what can make or break you. it has broken me to the point that i want to give up nursing all together.
sorry for the extra long post, just needed to vent. thanks to all in advance!!!!! ; )
staff note: paragraphs have been added for easier reading.
