SO much anxiety I don't want to go back

[Mary C]

It's my first travel job and I have only had 2 shifts, but I have so much anxiety I don't want to go back. My recruiter made it sound so rosy & I am miserable. I don't think that it's the assignment, I think it's just being a traveler. I don't like how I'm treated by some of the other staff and having limited orientation. I don't feel experienced enough to have a 2 day orientation. I should have done my homework, I can't make it through 12 more weeks of this.

I chose this job because I had housing here, and I could take the stipend.

Is this a normal feeling? Will it pass?

[raindrop]

If u do quit, you need to put in writing the reason + examples + names of those involved. Paint the picture of your license being at risk. Maybe this isnt the best advice, but perhaps tell agency that you will consult an Atty if you get a bill from them ( not sure on this one)

[Mary C, MSN, RN, APRN, CNM]

Yes, I had an attorney review the contract. I already spoke with people at my agency last week, and it's still not better. I am working with my agency to try to improve things this week, but if that doesn't improve than I am flabbergasted. I have never been physically ill over a job before.

[raindrop]

u will be ok :).

[NedRN]

Yes but if I am missing facility specific things, I hear the other nurses talking about me, but no one ever mentions it to my face. I ask for help or where something is on my third shift and get told that I should already know. I had a migraine the last two shifts the entire time, and this morning threw up just thinking about going to work so I called off.

I know that breaking a contract is a huge black mark on myself & my travel company, but I can't do this for 11 more weeks.

This will sound harsh, but you are headed for failure here. You are not 15 living in a goldfish bowl, you need a thicker skin. You need to disregard what people are actually saying about you or what you think they are saying about you. You are a professional focused on patient care. If someone is not a team player and won't answer a question, ask someone else. It is not uncommon to throw up before a stressful event, a number of successful actors and politicians have been doing it their entire career. The show must go on.

If if you feel like the situation is so severe that intervention is required there is no point in talking to your agency, that can only make things worse in this case. You are effectively staff, the agency only handles the money. So you handle it as a staff member would do, go to your manager. It is possible that a mutual decision (or a unilateral one) will be made that you are too weak to continue (more likely emotionally than clinically) and you assignment will be over. Or some effective mediation will happen to get you back on the right track.

Either way, that is the right way to approach this matter if you cannot handle it on your own. If the assignment fails, then you can work things out with the agency. I would again encourage you to buck up and pretend to be an island at work and focus on patient care. Throw up daily if you have to but don't quit. Perhaps this is the most stress you've had that you can remember, but with little effort I think you will be able to imagine a worse position you could be in. Every day at work and on the street, I see people in horrible health and life circumstances and think about how relatively fortunate I am.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

Bring a dozen donuts with you to work next shift. Sometimes this breaks the ice. You REALLY do not want to break your contract.

[Mary C, MSN, RN, APRN, CNM]

I completely don't understand travel nursing at all. I thought my agency went to bat for me. The shift charge nurse is dismissive of my questions, and this is my first assignment. It is significantly different from any facility I have worked at before. I feel unsafe and that I have no assistance to BE safe.

[NedRN]

The agency cannot go to bat for you and you need to understand their perspective. The hospital is their client not you. The agency has no control over your work or your workplace. Your recruiter is in sales and has no clinical training. You are the professional here and only you can impact your practice. If the charge nurse is unresponsive and you cannot practice safely, then you need to move up the chain of command to the manager. I do know you are clinically capable of doing this job as were other travelers before you. The main obstacle is yourself. Yes, this clearly wasn't the best first assignment for you and the staff may well be jerks. The recruiter is also at fault here for placing you in a bad first assignment even if you pushed for this particular assignment. It is up to you to restore your professionalism and make the best of it. It is only three months and it will get better if it can be completed. There is a good chance it won't if the agency upsets the hospital.

[HikingNinja, BSN, MSN, DNP, RN, APRN, NP]

I know how you feel. i'm on my first assignment. It can be intimidating. I'm used to being the go to person at work. Don't know where something is or how something is done? "Go ask ..." and I know the answer. Not so much now. The first week I kinda felt as stressed as my first real RN job out of nursing school. There are bad characters too where I'm at. We've all had to deal with those catty people who have no life so they like to talk smack about whoever they can. But there are nice coworkers too who balance this out. I know now who to pose my questions to who won't do the "you should know this by now" idiotic comeback. I'm trying to use the same attitude as when I started my first RN job...Learn as much as you can and take care of my patients as best I can.

I'm a few weeks in and its getting better. I have really learned some new skills and knowledge at this facility. Even some of the staff who were practically openly hostile have calmed down and at least leave me alone (I have heard there are some new staff coming aboard next month...I am sure they are too busy sharpening their claws for those poor souls to bother with me now).

If it's a matter of unsafe conditions, by all means get out of there. But if you just don't think you can do it, remember back to nursing school or your first RN job and remember you did that, you made it through. You can do the same here. And you will be a better person for it. Good luck.

[Mary C, MSN, RN, APRN, CNM]

I spoke with my agency and manager, called off one day because of a migraine, slept about 18 hours and now am ready to face the next 10 weeks. There just may be more chocolate & wine in my off hours for a few months.

Should I really bring donuts? :) Patients give us so much food every day, I'm not sure anyone would notice.

[BonnieSc]

Good luck, Mary. I'm glad you found a new surge of energy. I am sure that a few good souls are going to emerge from this mess that you can count on. Also, look beyond the RN staff... if you don't know where something is, who else could you ask? The person restocking supplies, the housekeeper, the CNA? These people may be tickled to help you. On my first day at a travel assignment, the hospital chaplain was so kind to me it brought tears to my eyes. The PT/OT/ST people were also very kind and helpful. Even some of the doctors, who said "I'm new here, too!".

My travel company has an RN who is supposedly available to answer clinical questions... she called and introduced herself, and said she or another nurse would be on call 24/7. I shuddered to think how bad things would have to be before I called for that kind of help, but she seemed nice and competent. I'm curious, has anyone used this kind of service?

[Travel_Lusting]

Hi Mary, I am glad to see that a bit of sleep and R&R helped. I hope the next ten weeks are much better than the first two days.

p.s. although I work with a pretty good crowd, when I do bring in some fresh baked goods, they are a whole new level of nice.

Best of luck and lots of well wishes.

[dselvidge]

OK, heres my thoughts..... i just started my first assignment on med surg... i came from doing case managament and figured the money would be nice. I get to the hospital and get one day of orientation and thrown on the floor with 7 patients that are all high acuity. let me tell you how awful it is. i am lucky 1 of the 3 nurses on the floor ( including myself) would help me with admits and discharges. Even though they were drowing as it is. so far i am two weeks into my short 4 week assignment and i HATE THIS PLACE!!!!!!! no breaks no nothing and one aide on the hall. miserable. any tips lol??

how is this even safe?