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SO much anxiety I don't want to go back

Travel   (7,717 Views | 26 Replies)

Mary C has 10 years experience and specializes in RN, CNM.

7,214 Profile Views; 217 Posts

It's my first travel job and I have only had 2 shifts, but I have so much anxiety I don't want to go back. My recruiter made it sound so rosy & I am miserable. I don't think that it's the assignment, I think it's just being a traveler. I don't like how I'm treated by some of the other staff and having limited orientation. I don't feel experienced enough to have a 2 day orientation. I should have done my homework, I can't make it through 12 more weeks of this.

I chose this job because I had housing here, and I could take the stipend.

Is this a normal feeling? Will it pass?

Edited by Mary C

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3 Followers; 1 Article; 5,438 Posts; 45,963 Profile Views

Things will get better. And you will be much stronger nurse at the end. Then you can make another career decision. Hang in there!

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292 Posts; 5,131 Profile Views

Hang in there! I'm also a new traveler starting in L& D next week. I'll probably be going through the same thing. Be strong! I hope it gets better!

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577 Posts; 14,030 Profile Views

I remember my 1st assignment like it was yesterday. I hated it so much that I considered breaking my contract. My coworkers were hardcore. In fact, another traveler did quit bc of being treated so poorly, etc. I stuck it out because agency warned me that I will owe them a crapload of money. Well, by the 11th week, I began to somewhat enjoy it, staff was much better to me by then. By the final 13th week, we all went out for drinks and everyone begged me to stay. I took 2 weeks off and then signed another contract. It was a miracle. That was when the book, "The Secret" came out and I was practicing the tips in that book all because of being miserable at that job.

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PacoUSA has 8 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in PCU / Telemetry.

3,430 Posts; 44,518 Profile Views

Deleted, answered my own question :)

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Mary C has 10 years experience and specializes in RN, CNM.

217 Posts; 7,214 Profile Views

Personally, I have 3.5 years L&D and 1 year Med-surg. Feeling like I should have waited another year or so.

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PacoUSA has 8 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in PCU / Telemetry.

3,430 Posts; 44,518 Profile Views

Personally, I have 3.5 years L&D and 1 year Med-surg. Feeling like I should have waited another year or so.

Ah ok ... so I should not have deleted my post, you answered it anyway :) ...

So are you traveling as a med-surg nurse? This is why I was asking because I figured someone with so much stress about an assignment might have had little experience with the specialty, but I thought you were traveling as L&D so I assumed I might be wrong.

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Mary C has 10 years experience and specializes in RN, CNM.

217 Posts; 7,214 Profile Views

L&D traveler. It's not that I don't know my OB stuff, I do. It's that I am really stressing over figuring out where everything is, and when to call Docs, while having a very short orientation. It's also just a big culture shock to be at a different facility across the country.

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2 Articles; 776 Posts; 26,092 Profile Views

You will be OK! It was hard for me to let go of what apparently is a little streak of perfectionism (my co-workers at my last permanent job are shaking with laughter right now). I hate making mistakes and I hate leaving anything undone. When I could remind myself to let go, being a traveler was a lot less stressful. This isn't like a permanent job where you have to learn this stuff because you're going to be using it for two years, teaching others, etc. All they expect is for you to take good care of the patients, ask when you need help, and otherwise, do the best you can. The expectations are different--repeat that to yourself as needed. You are never going to know all the little ins and outs of this unit or this hospital. Let that go. On my last shift I am still asking people where a piece of equipment is or whether I need to call a doctor (per protocol--obviously from a clinical standpoint I know when I need to call a doctor). And if the staff isn't very nice about answering questions or about the little things in the charting you didn't even know you were supposed to do and think you're the dumbest nurse they've ever come across? They won't, because you haven't killed anyone, but even if they do--big deal! You're never going to see any of them again. You probably don't even need a reference from them.

The role of a travel nurse isn't just to be a staff nurse for thirteen weeks at a time. It's actually a different role. Perhaps it would help to think of a substitute teacher. No one expects a substitute teacher to come up with lesson plans or write tests or make up classroom rules--she's just there to keep things going while there's a need.

Good luck! It's only going to get better from here.

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idialyze is a BSN, RN and specializes in Dialysis.

168 Posts; 8,261 Profile Views

Give it a little time. As discussed above, if you ditch this now, you could be liable for some megadollars to pay back to the agency!

I was always a little nervous beginning a new assignment when I traveled, but look at it this way, you only have to stick it out for 13 weeks, they all have to stick it out forever!

Never let 'em see you sweat!

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292 Posts; 5,131 Profile Views

You will be OK! It was hard for me to let go of what apparently is a little streak of perfectionism (my co-workers at my last permanent job are shaking with laughter right now). I hate making mistakes and I hate leaving anything undone. When I could remind myself to let go, being a traveler was a lot less stressful. This isn't like a permanent job where you have to learn this stuff because you're going to be using it for two years, teaching others, etc. All they expect is for you to take good care of the patients, ask when you need help, and otherwise, do the best you can. The expectations are different--repeat that to yourself as needed. You are never going to know all the little ins and outs of this unit or this hospital. Let that go. On my last shift I am still asking people where a piece of equipment is or whether I need to call a doctor (per protocol--obviously from a clinical standpoint I know when I need to call a doctor). And if the staff isn't very nice about answering questions or about the little things in the charting you didn't even know you were supposed to do and think you're the dumbest nurse they've ever come across? They won't, because you haven't killed anyone, but even if they do--big deal! You're never going to see any of them again. You probably don't even need a reference from them.

The role of a travel nurse isn't just to be a staff nurse for thirteen weeks at a time. It's actually a different role. Perhaps it would help to think of a substitute teacher. No one expects a substitute teacher to come up with lesson plans or write tests or make up classroom rules--she's just there to keep things going while there's a need.

Good luck! It's only going to get better from here.

Great advice!

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Mary C has 10 years experience and specializes in RN, CNM.

217 Posts; 7,214 Profile Views

Yes but if I am missing facility specific things, I hear the other nurses talking about me, but no one ever mentions it to my face. I ask for help or where something is on my third shift and get told that I should already know. I had a migraine the last two shifts the entire time, and this morning threw up just thinking about going to work so I called off.

I know that breaking a contract is a huge black mark on myself & my travel company, but I can't do this for 11 more weeks.

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