Published Sep 15, 2011
mamayogibear
222 Posts
So I have finally been accepted into a program that I can afford. But now I am faced with a issue about child care. While struggling to do my prereqs I worked part time and took out loans to pay daycare for my daughter. I do not qualify for state funding because my ex wont get his car out of my name and would not watch her so I had to get a loan to pay daycare. He had been saying all summer he would watch the kids (we now have two) while I am in school and working part time. Well yesterday he told me he is not going to watch his kids while I go to school because it will not be worth it money wise! He works from home as a computer programmer and web designer so his schedule is totally open! My classes start Monday and I have no clue what I am going to do.
I have talked to the school financial aid office and tried to figure out additional funding for daycare but since I now have two kids there is no way to get a loan big enough to cover the cost. In one year our oldest will be in pre school then I could afford to send the baby to daycare with loan money. I have called DSHS and they will not help with daycare funding unless he gets his cars out of my name, he now has several of them.
I can't believe I am on this public form at four in the morning asking for help on how to get daycare paid for for my kids. If I don't figure out something by Monday I am going to have to drop the program since if you don't show up the first day your spot goes to someone on the waitlist. The school only admits once a year so it's not like I can deffer until January. There are a few schools in my state that have classes that start Winter term but the only community college is a lottery where only 25 out of hundreds of applications get in!
I think my only options is to move back to Cali and live with my parents and try to go to Cal State Fresno or Stanislaus State or one of the community colleges in between the two. Because then my folks would watch my kids for free. But I'm almost thirty years old and have not lived with my parents since I was a teenager so I would feel really silly reverting to that.
:heartbeatall of you for reading my four am can't sleep because I'm panicking vent!
mzrainydayz, BSN, RN
364 Posts
See if your friends or family will help you out until you get on your feet in school. If he is not willing to help you then you need to go back to dshs and take out child support against him. In my state if you take out child support then you can get a daycare voucher for your kids. I think he is jealous and don't want to help you. Someone like that you don't need around, I mean those are his kids and he won't help you. Don't quit the program do all you can to stay in. I wish you the best of luck.:hug:
Tyler77
144 Posts
A lot of female nursing students are going through what you go. It's the same routine: boyfriend tells girlfriend that "he'll always be there for her", get her pregnant, and RUNS when he finds out she's expecting. The result is another new single mom with th "Woe is me" attitude that should've known better. They complain that they can't get child care, that they're late to clinicals because the abaysitter was late, yadda, yadda, yadda. What they fail to realize is that students don't care about the single mom's personal issues. It takes two to make a baby. You need to visit your anger on your "ex". See what happens when you need to experience the few moments of passion?
Dre2416, BSN, RN
155 Posts
What about church programs in your area? Maybe the YMCA? Try posting an ad at the local college looking for babysitters, college kids always can use a little money even if it's $20 a day. In the mean time, go to the court and file child support against your @#$$%# ex... Or if you feel really vindictive, drop the kids off at his house in the morning ring the doorbell and say here you go... he can't turn his own children away...
windmill182
224 Posts
If you guys aren't together, why are his cars in your name?
SnMrsSmiley
126 Posts
i have the same question. Why are his cars in your name.? and why did you continue to let him put more cars in your name? The way the post read he had a car in your name and you originally couldnt get Fin aid... then later and another child together later he promises to help you and puts more cars in your name. Now he isnt going to help you. Did I read that correctly?
Yeah I had a momentary year long lapse of judgment where we got back together. All was well and he bought another car, he always uses some stupid line like he left his wallet at the place he bought the car or at a gas station so I have to 'just run in and register it' so we don't get pulled over for expired tags. I thought he got the original one out of my name when he sold it but I guess not. And now that school starts in a couple of days he's saying he won't watch the kids!
Thanks for the advice everyone I was super stressed when I posted this at four am after not sleeping because of stress. I will file for child support but I don't know if it'll do any good because of the cars being an 'asset'. Hopefully if I go to the DOL they will help me figure out how to sign the cars over to him without any paperwork. That's my plan for the day. Thanks again everyone, I really love all the kindness here on all nurses:yeah:
mazy
932 Posts
Can you sell any of the cars? How many cars does he need? Drastic times call for drastic measures. Could you tell him that unless he gets on board with the child care that you will have no other option but to sell the cars? Because that really sounds like it would be the first and most sensible option to consider.
If he won't help you with chidcare just call the police and report the car stolen. If he can't do a good deed for you, then you need to get even.
SusanRN82
32 Posts
Does the school have a daycare program? Can you post something on a school bulletin board (e-bulletin) about needing someone to watch the kids?
Once you start classes, you might be able to trade off babysitting with another student. Use this trade when you need some study time so you don't have to be up all night studying when the kids are asleep. You will not be able to function in class or clinical if you don't have some kind of study plan... actually, it will make you insane.
caliotter3
38,333 Posts
Go to school the first day and network like crazy, also go see the advisor or program director and beg for help. I can't believe this man would do this to you. He is a jerk of the first degree. If all else fails, move back home and get prepared for an arduous effort to get accepted at a CA program. Best wishes.
MInurse.st
181 Posts
Report the cars stolen, get them back, and sell them. They are in your name. That should cover childcare until you figure something out.