My father was hospitalized last Wednesday with CHF. And it was bad too. He has since lost 50 lbs of fluid, and he is still coughing uncontrollably.
So I had to finally go back to work today and I called him. He says that he has been coughing terribly all night and all day, and no one has been in to see him, and he can't get any rest.
I just called up to the floor to find out what was going on. His nurse was on break, but the fill in for her said that her notes said there were no problems and he is resting peacefully.
I nearly lost my damn mind. I got very nasty and said I want his nurse to call me back immediately, and when she did, she told ME that I needed to calm down and that they were doing everything they could for him. I fired back to find out what in the world she was falsifying his medical record sating he has no problems and is resting peacefully when he is anything but and she hung up no me!!!
I am so angry right now. I want to go and pull him out of there.
Sorry. This is very hard for me to watch. My father has not been in good health for years, and this was finally the straw that broke the monkey's back with the CHF. He is miserable, and doesn't have health insurance, and that I can't be with him 24/7 is driving me bonkers.
I can understand your distress as you love your father.
Often, what a pt reports to the by nurse is significantly different from what the nurse has observed. I personally have been on the receiving end of pts that called repeatedly all night. I had witnesses to the fact I was called to the Pts room at least every 15 minutes for truly minor unnecessary things. The next AM, I was berated by family who was told by the pt that I kept him awake all night.
I have had pts that snored all night, had to be shaken awake for meds, slept through vitals, turn around and say that they did not sleep a wink to their families.
And most recently, we had an icu pt and family get very attached one nurse. After an extended time of attempting to treat the pts illness, it became very evident that it was not to be. After many days of putting it off, pt decided to have care withdrawn. The nurse volunteered to come in extra to be there, so the family would have her preferred caregiver. The staff had made it clear that after extubation, the pt might go immediately, might linger for varied amts of time, and may or may not be lucid or able to talk.
The family only hears and focuses only on what they want to hear.
We dressed the pt in her favorite things, put up her favorite pictures, played her favorite Greek music. The family brought food and drink, to give when she was extubated.....because "they said she would be able to drink a bit". Nothing of the sort was said.
Of course, when she was extubated she almost immediately passed and the family was quite distressed and took it out On the nurse who had truly done her best and did nothing wrong.
And while we can do all we can to support this nurse, she still had to suffer from the guilt that family unfairly placed on her. And it may lead this gifted woman to leave the profession.
When loved ones are concerned, we sometimes lose our objectivity. If you as upset on the phone as you have posted, it is perhaps a good thing to ask you to calm down before continuing.
I have been staying with him a the hospital up until yesterday when I had to come home. He has had the same nurse with him.
She smokes. It's obvious. She smells like smoke. She admitted that she smokes. I am not "assuming" anything here. During the time I was there, she came into his room only 4 times a day- to give him his meds. She did not do routine checks, and was rarely available when a call light was pushed- usually another nurse did so for her.
Based on what I have seen from her so far, I feel that I can safely assume that she is still doing the same thing today when I am not there.
Pop is only 51, and is hardly demented. The fact that someone would suggest this infuriates me even further. He's hardly one to complain either, so the fact that he is tells me something is going on.
Specializes in Oncology/Hematology, Infusion, clinical.
I think you may be blinded by your emotional closeness to the situation and the pain it causes you to see your father in such a state. While I don't discredit the possibility that your dad's care is subpar, I think it is far more likely that the case is that which previous posters have suggested. Regardless, becoming aggressive and threatening to the staff is not a productive resolution.
I must say, as a nurse, I would not have reacted well to your accusations over the phone. I know you are feeling helpless and angry, but you really are jumping to conclusions based on the info you have provided. Maybe using this forum to vent will help you approach the situation more calmly, as you will have an outlet for your frustration other than the nursing staff.
I encourage you to further examine your perspective, urge your father to communicate his discomfort to those caring for him, and *possibly* (I say this on eggshells) call to apologize for your behavior, explaining that you just want to make your dad feel better and feel powerless because you can't be there physically. I feel that doing these things will ultimately help your father, which is what your goal appears to be.
Or, you can move him to another hospital. Just like when you are working as a nurse, don't let your knee-jerk emotional response guide your actions and cloud your judgement.
I hope you don't feel I am attacking you in any way, and I sincerely hope that you and your family get through this stressful time quickly.
I'm not quite sure what to say here, but what you did by accusing a nurse of falsifying documents was wrong, indeed you did it when you were angry. I agree with spending a few hours with your Dad and see how he is treated and how he treats the staff (not that the later would matter). I'll bet he is a nice guy who doesn't want to bother the nurses. And yes, nurses are allowed breaks, smoking or not. If you are really an RN as your name reveals...why didn't you know how to handle this? Your communication skills need a little brushing up on.
You have gotten sympathy, and you've gotten good advice. You've also attacked your fellow nurses; how do you expect us to respond? Would you rather have meaningless agreement "Oh, yes, they are terrible, I hope they all lose their jobs and never work again!" or would you rather have your fellow nurses counsel caution, offering sympathy for your father's illness as well as personal experiences on miscommunications between family and staff?
You honestly think screaming and anger will enhance your father's care? That it will get to the bottom of what sort of care your father is really receiving? I hope not.
I'm not quite sure what to say here, but what you did by accusing a nurse of falsifying documents was wrong, indeed you did it when you were angry. I agree with spending a few hours with your Dad and see how he is treated and how he treats the staff (not that the later would matter). I'll bet he is a nice guy who doesn't want to bother the nurses. And yes, nurses are allowed breaks, smoking or not. If you are really an RN as your name reveals...why didn't you know how to handle this? Your communication skills need a little brushing up on.
Wow. So my objectivity means nothing as well?
This is the first time I have ever had to go through this with a parent. It is a big frightening and alarming when it is one of your own. I don't like this nurse, I haven't liked her since she started with him on Friday (they work 7 days on 7 days off for 12 hour shifts) and I have been quite disturbed by her lack of attention already to my father and she is with him for at least a few more days. He won't rock the boat, and I feel it's up to me to make sure he is getting the best care that he possibly can.
I'm sorry you feel that way OP. However, you were WRONG for treating that nurse that way. I'm not gonna side with you when you stated yourself you were upset and "lost it" when the nurse got on the phone. You are a nurse youself and how would you feel if a family member accused you of falsifying medical records? Would you like to be yelled at over the phone as well?
As you know, your account as the RN could be very different from the pt's. And if your father has CHF, he was probably given an ACE-I (like lisinpril) that has a side effective of dry hacking cough. When I worked Stepdown and took care of CHF pts, most of them had guafensin ordered PRN for cough.
And is the same nurse working 24/7? If he didnt "rest comfortably" and coughed all night, which nurse did you speak with? The day nurse or the night nurse?
Actually if you'd go back and read what I wrote the "real" nurse did call back and lie to me.
Perhaps if she were doing her job and not taking smoke breaks, we wouldn't have a problem here?
You are a nurse.How do you KNOW it was a lie. There are two sides to a story. GET THEM!It doesn't say much that you have time to respond to every question on here.
Since you're that upset, get on the phone, call a support person find out what it truly going on.make it happen.
I'm sorry you feel that way OP. However, you were WRONG for treating that nurse that way. I'm not gonna side with you when you stated yourself you were upset and "lost it" when the nurse got on the phone. You are a nurse youself and how would you feel if a family member accused you of falsifying medical records? Would you like to be yelled at over the phone as well?
As you know, your account as the RN could be very different from the pt's. And if your father has CHF, he was probably given an ACE-I (like lisinpril) that has a side effective of dry hacking cough. When I worked Stepdown and took care of CHF pts, most of them had guafensin ordered PRN for cough.
And is the same nurse working 24/7? If he didnt "rest comfortably" and coughed all night, which nurse did you speak with? The day nurse or the night nurse?
I still feel you owe that nurse an apology.
I strongly disagree with owing the nurse an apology, but I will concede to the possibility of him being started on lisinopril could be contributing to the cough, but he has had this cough for weeks now. (The buildup of the fluid, and the CHF.) If he states he is coughing, and is unable to rest, yet she states he is resting "comfortably" and is documenting this, how can the attending physician possibly be getting the correct information on treating this dry hacking cough, and if so, couldn't that potentially cause more damage? That is what I more worried about. Since I have observed her "care" for a few days now, I am not certain that she is accurately reporting information the way that she should be. I felt that she hung up on me because she got caught not doing her job, not because I was "out of line."
caroladybelle, BSN, RN
5,486 Posts
I can understand your distress as you love your father.
Often, what a pt reports to the by nurse is significantly different from what the nurse has observed. I personally have been on the receiving end of pts that called repeatedly all night. I had witnesses to the fact I was called to the Pts room at least every 15 minutes for truly minor unnecessary things. The next AM, I was berated by family who was told by the pt that I kept him awake all night.
I have had pts that snored all night, had to be shaken awake for meds, slept through vitals, turn around and say that they did not sleep a wink to their families.
And most recently, we had an icu pt and family get very attached one nurse. After an extended time of attempting to treat the pts illness, it became very evident that it was not to be. After many days of putting it off, pt decided to have care withdrawn. The nurse volunteered to come in extra to be there, so the family would have her preferred caregiver. The staff had made it clear that after extubation, the pt might go immediately, might linger for varied amts of time, and may or may not be lucid or able to talk.
The family only hears and focuses only on what they want to hear.
We dressed the pt in her favorite things, put up her favorite pictures, played her favorite Greek music. The family brought food and drink, to give when she was extubated.....because "they said she would be able to drink a bit". Nothing of the sort was said.
Of course, when she was extubated she almost immediately passed and the family was quite distressed and took it out On the nurse who had truly done her best and did nothing wrong.
And while we can do all we can to support this nurse, she still had to suffer from the guilt that family unfairly placed on her. And it may lead this gifted woman to leave the profession.
When loved ones are concerned, we sometimes lose our objectivity. If you as upset on the phone as you have posted, it is perhaps a good thing to ask you to calm down before continuing.