Slight dilema, any advice would be apprieciated............long....sorry

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Hi All,

A little background on my dilema. In the Spring semester I took my only pre-req that I needed to get in to NS with a girlfriend. It was great to, she is really awesome at taking notes so she gave me all the notes and they really helped me alot. Since the semester ended she has decided to sell the home she lives in and move to her cottage which is fine. She said she would still be attending school with me in the Fall for A&P I. She told me to call her when I paid my bill to remind her to pay her tuition bill as well, which I did. When I called in the beginning of July to remind her to pay the bill she said it was in her pile of things to pay and mentioned that money was tight (which I knew her and her partner were having some money trouble which is why they are selling their house and moving to the cottage so they can cut expenses). Well I have spoken to her and her partner since and I know they have been very busy getting their current home ready to put on the market and their cottage ready to move in to. Yesterday I got an email from my friend telling me that she is dropping A&P I for the fall semester. She said that it was too stressing for her at the end of last semester fixing up the house while going to school and that she needed to get her priorities straight. She said her goal right now is to finish getting the cottage ready so they could move and get the house on the market. She said that she would take A&P I in the Spring 09 semester instead and to let her know if I was going to wait to take A&P I with her and take something else for Fall or if I was going to take A&P I anyway and try it on my own. So I emailed her back and said that I understood and that I didn't know what I would do about the class that I was going to wait a bit longer so I could think about it.

Now here is my dilema. I will not be taking any nursing courses until fall 2009 so my plan was to take just A&P I & II this academic year so I wouldn't have to take it concurrent with nursing courses. But my plan was to take all my classes with my friend so we could do this together. I could easily change to another course that I would need for NS anyway (I just can't take any core nursing classes until I am an accepted student which I am expecting to be in the fall 09, I have already applied and meet the criteria to be accepted so I do not think I will be turned away.) BUT, I was planning on attending NS and preparing to attend before I even knew that my friend was considering it as well. So bascially even though I was planning on taking all my classes with my friend, my plan never really changed other than adding her into it. Now that she won't be attending in the fall I am wondering if I should just take a different course and wait to take A&P I with her and then possibly wind up waiting another year to begin any nursing classes or do I stick with my original plan and hope that she doesn't feel like I am abandoning her.

My DH brought up a good point, I used her notes all semester last year so part of me was relying on her to get me through the course and I shouldn't have done that. DH thinks that I should go ahead and try A&P without her and see if I can manage it. My thought now is that maybe I should just go ahead and take the course anyway since when I first started looking at changing careers, my friend was never part of my plan so I would have been taking all of my classes alone, KWIM? My other thought is that maybe she is having second thoughts and doesn't want to admit that to me so if I do wait to take A&P with her in the spring and she decides once again not to take it, then I would be really upset with myself for waiting. Yet I do not want to upset my friend by taking the course when she may really be intending to take the class in the spring.

One thing I am sure of, I want to A&P I & II alone with no other courses so I can concentrate on just A&P. From what I understand, it is alot to learn and A&P is my deciding factor as to whether I will truly persue nursing or not. I figure if I can't make it through A&P then I will never make it through the program itself. I am willing to put off taking any core nursing classes to the fall of 2010 to wait for my friend if she is really serious about NS. She, like me, thinks that A&P will be tough enough and agreed that maybe it should be taken alone so we would only have to concentrate on that one course. If she is serious about taking A&P alone and will not begin it until spring, then she will not take any nursing courses until the fall of 2010. Which I would be fine with waiting another year (considering that it took me 20 years to get the guts to actually attempt NS, what is another year right?)

So, do I take A&P I in the fall and continue on as planned or do I take Sociology in the fall (which I would need for the program anyway) and wait to see if my friend attends school in the spring?

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If I were you, I would just go ahead and take the class. YOU are the one that wants to get into the nursing class. She has a lot going on right now and for her it is probably a good idea not to go forward. I don't think that you should let her hold you back. It sounds to me like you are "school" friends, but that is it. I understand wanting someone to go through it with you. I think we all do really. But there will be other people in your class that you will bond with. You will help each other get through the class. Go ahead with your plans to take A & P. I'm sure you will be fine. And who knows? Maybe she will be looking to you for help once she starts!

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I agree. I would just take the class..

You and only you can achieve your dreams!

My :twocents:, good luck!

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Specializes in SICU.

You need to live YOUR life. Her life seems to have a lot of problems right now. It is possible that she will delay going to nursing school for several years, or your friend could decide not to go to nursing school at all.

Even if you waited and took the A&P classes together and got into nursing school together, there is no guarantee that you will get though nursing school together. Nursing school is tough and many good nurses have had to repeat a semester of nursing school before graduating.

If becoming a nurse is what you want then go for it.

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Thank you everyone for your response. My head tells me to go in to A&P anyway and continue with my plan. I heart is somewhat telling me that she will not go in to nursing school at all. In conversations with her, she has pretty much admitted that she hasn't done anything that she needs to do to get accepted in to the school itself. So having said that, she can take all classes she wants as a non-matriculated student but the actual nursing classes are reserved for nursing majors only and she cannot get accepted in to the nursing program without having been accepted in to the school. And since she isn't trying to get accepted in to the school, my feeling is that she may not want it bad enough.

I on the other hand, have been on the phone for over a year now, asking questions and making sure that I am doing what I need to do to get accepted in to the nursing program. It won't be soon enough that I will have gone from thinking about going to NS to actually becoming a nursing student!!

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Specializes in acute care.

As hard as it is to get into nursing school for MANY people, there is no way I would put it off for longer than I had to, ESPECIALLY to wait for someone else. (I hope this doesn't sound harsh)

You need to live for YOU, and this means achieving your goal whether it is with someone else or not. Anything can happen within the next year and the LAST thing you want to do is look back and have any regrets.

Take care!

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You need to get into the mindset that this is about YOU. I am concerned that you used her notes and relied on her to help you get through the class. I think your DH is right and is giving you very wise advice. It's one thing to make some study buddy friends and its another to NEED someone to help get you through. You may need to brush up on your note taking skills, or invest in some sort of voice recorder so you can record the lectures, but you need to think about you and let her live her life. She may decide that she doesn't want to take classes next semester.. where would that leave you? You are depending on her too much.

I'm sorry to be harsh, but you need to move on and focus on yourself. You can do this.

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Specializes in Taking one day at a time....

Hey! I can totally understand why you would want to wait for your friend.. Its so much better when you are going through a tough class to be close with someone, either to study with or comfort eachother. But i absolutely think you should follow your original plan & take the class when you planned on taking it...For many reasons. First, she might change her mind about taking the class...and then like you said, you'd be upset for waiting. So you cant rely on her completely to be there with you since her plans may change again. It must be a disappointment to not be able to be in the same class with her, but hey at least if you take it first..and then she takes it at a later date, you can help her out & tell her how bad/good it was lol. I guarantee you'll talk to other people in the A&P classes, it can be tough so its pretty easy to get to know the person next to you. Sorry about your friends decision, but i really hope you take the classes when you originally wanted to.

Best of luck.:yeah:

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I agree. While it's wonderful for you to consider your friend, you need to put your own goals and dreams first. Take care of yourself and let her take care of herself. Things will work out!

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Well I have decided to take A&P I without my girlfriend. I have to remember something........at first I was expecting to go to NS alone so at first I was expecting to take A&P alone. It would be great to have a buddy in the class but I was willing to do this alone to begin with, I should still be willing to do this alone now. If she does go back in January and take A&P I, then that is great, but I have already said that I am doubting she will do that.

I can look at the bright side, my niece is graduating high school in June 2009 and is considering NS, and considering the same school I attend. So I could be in NS with my niece, that would be neat.:D

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You need to remember that nothing happens without a reason. Nurses are team players, but you must learn to be autonomous. You can do this by yourself - or there may be someone else that you buddy up with. Your friend has made the decisions that she has made to best suit her life and you must do the same.:twocents:

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

You cannot depend on others to make it through this process. I have seen many friendships break up behind situations like this. I know that most would prefer the support, however, you cannot sit for exams together, or take NCLEX together per se. I mean you can schedule it all to coincide if you wish, however, the bottom line of it is that it is you and that exam alone, and you will have to count on your wits to make it into and out of the nursing program.

What you can do, though, is since you admire the methods she used to write notes, imitate that and add your own style that suits you as you go along. You may meet other classmates that will also have talents that are worth imitating to a degree. I wish you the best of luck!

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