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Sleep overs

Posted

Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health. Has 30 years experience.

Do any of your facilities allow spouses/children of residents to sleep over??? I don't mean for one night if the resident is going to die. I mean because they want to. Mind you this particular person who wanted to sleep over lives less than 30 minutes from the facility. It seems with every passing year, residents and their families expect us to be more like the Hilton and less like the MEDICAL facilities we are.

I haven't heard of this in facilities. It doesn't seem like a good idea unless the resident is gravely ill. Frankly it is bad enough to have visitors underfoot during regular visiting hours, 24/7 would just be a bad situation. There would be those who would be there for reasons other than an innocent visit to their own family member.

CapeCodMermaid, RN

Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health. Has 30 years experience.

My point precisely. I can almost guarantee by Monday that some busy body from town will have written, emailed, or called the corporate CEO to tell him that I am the embodiment of evil for not allowing the 'poor little old man to stay with his wife.'

nicurn2be

Specializes in rn in nicu.

I am coming from no experience in long term care except for my first clinical in school, and have no experience as a RN, as I just graduated. From my POV it definitely is inconvenient for family members to stay over, but some of my favorite times when I was little was sleeping over my grandparents house. If this was not possible because my grandparents were in a facility I would have missed out on a ton. Maybe the facility could allow the child to stay once in a blue moon if rules were established and the family didn't take advantage of it. I could be wrong though as I don't have experience- it's just a shame that grandparents and grandkids miss out on so many great memories when in LTC, BUT I totally understand that is is not the RNs responsibility to babysit!

CapeCodMermaid, RN

Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health. Has 30 years experience.

I don't mean little kids. That would be out of the question all together! Visits during the day are great. Take grandma home for the day, but staying over is ridiculous. We are NOT a motel.

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN

Has 25 years experience.

Nope...not unless they are gravely ill or are having behaviors and need a sitter type of thing do families stay over. We only have a few private rooms and the rest are semi....so you get into the privacy issues.

debRN0417

Specializes in LTC, ER, ICU, Psych, Med-surg...etc.... Has 31 years experience.

That's the craziest thing I've ever heard of...now if , as others have said, the person is gravely ill, or the weather is bad...but routinely?????Ugh.....if your resident is able to "entertain" company for the night, I suggest the hotel down the street...

achot chavi

Specializes in acute care and geriatric. Has 20 years experience.

Terrible precedent to set, I've never heard of it, its disruptive to the other patients etc,

We have had family ask to sleep over and we arranged a room for pay for them since we had an extra room anyway and he was willing to pay for it ...but that was an extreme situation.

We once had a homeless daughter try to sleep on the floor next to her fathers bed, the SW called the police and removed her, the next day a court order was given that she had to be out by 9:30 pm

Similar problem, we have had pts taking PT equipment home with them, all sorts of stuff even a wheel chair when we called to get it back, we got all sorts of nasty answers,

People think they can abuse us because we are supposed to be nice and all that.

mondkmondk

Specializes in Geriatrics. Has 17 years experience.

I worked in one facility that allowed this, but only for hospice patients. All their hospice rooms were private rooms with the patient's bed in the room and a futon or day bed. One lady we had was in her 30's and dying of liver cancer. Her teenaged son stayed all the time on the futon in her room. I never considered it "babysitting"; he was devastated by her diagnosis and just wanted to be with her as long as he could. She died after about a month and he was able to be there by her side when she passed (she went peacefully in her sleep).

Just my experience...

Blessings, M.

Crispy Critter

Specializes in ER I/CCU Cath lab LTC. Has 42 years experience.

At an LTC facility I worked at, a woman was allowed to move a huge recliner into her husband's room. She stayed almost 24/7, only going home to shower sometimes and check on their house. This went on for about EIGHT MONTHS! He usually had a room mate. As her husband ate very little, she ordered jello to be sent up on his trays. He got the jello, she got the meal. He was total care, and at first she helped with his care. Soon though, she just watched and was always underfoot. After a few months, she started cracking on the staff to other family members. When he got an order for morphine subq every hour, she expected it to be exactly one hour, and the heck with all the other patients. She insisted he get it, even when he said he didn't need it. If you were late, she came out in the hall looking for you and gritching loudly. The facility should never have allowed this to happen, but they are very much into butt-kissing and making money. Sad to say, it was a relief to be free of her when he finally passed away.

evilolive, BSN, RN

Specializes in Cardiac/Step-Down, MedSurg, LTC. Has 6 years experience.

We have one new resident in my building whose daughter stayed overnight the first night to "help ease ma." I am unsure of the policy in my building, regarding sleepovers, but for the most part, they were okay. Except when "ma" would wake up with nightmares then start talking to her daughter... "ma" is HOH and legally blind, and they talk SO loud. I went in, talked in a regular tone close to her, and was fine.

Some families.... I do understand making exceptions for sickly or dying family members, but come on! I just felt like saying "stop being a DURRRRRRRRRRRRR" to the daughter, lol.

There is the legal question also. Everyone that is working in LTC or hospital has to have a background check. Where as we know nothing about the backgrounds of these people that sleep over. We have had problems during the day with visitors that roam through the hospital stealing purses and stuff out of patients rooms. God knows what would go on if they were there at night.

CapeCodMermaid, RN

Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health. Has 30 years experience.

I worked in a building which allowed visitors unrestricted access to the elevators and the stairwells. The new ED and I started within a few months of eachother. We instituted a sign in book in the lobby, locked the front doors at 6pm and made the stairwells off limits. You'd think families would appreciate the safety....nope. I was threatened by many family members. They thought it was their right to be in the building any time in any condition. I don't mean a spouse or a child...I mean some distant nephew who only came in when he wanted money and was either drunk or high. I'm glad my ED now sees things my way. We are not a motel.

I worked in a building which allowed visitors unrestricted access to the elevators and the stairwells. The new ED and I started within a few months of eachother. We instituted a sign in book in the lobby, locked the front doors at 6pm and made the stairwells off limits. You'd think families would appreciate the safety....nope. I was threatened by many family members. They thought it was their right to be in the building any time in any condition. I don't mean a spouse or a child...I mean some distant nephew who only came in when he wanted money and was either drunk or high. I'm glad my ED now sees things my way. We are not a motel.
The same visitor that gets nasty when asked to follow some rules about entering and exiting the building will sue when they get mugged in a stair well.

debRN0417

Specializes in LTC, ER, ICU, Psych, Med-surg...etc.... Has 31 years experience.

There are such things as visiting hours....lots of folks don't respect them. A LTC facility is a person's home. I do not want someone visiting me after 8 or 9 p.m. at night after I have donned my sundries and crawled in to bed....Visits should be by invitation. Courtesy would be to call first and ask if one can come late...ugh....

Sleepovers- nah- don't think so- unless the person is on their way out or has a private room and then I think that there should be an understanding about it. Loke oramar said there are crazies out there...what if the person staying with momma or grandma is an offender and abuses momma or grandma, then we have to deal with that???? again-ugh! And I'm sorry- I'm all about the resident and being kind and courteous to their family, but I am not there to wait on the family- I am there for the resident....

I used to work in a facility that allowed visitors any time of the night or day for any length of time. They were trying for "culture change"...since this was the person's home, they can have anyone over any time they want. Not many abused this policy but, as always, there were a few that did and they were awful and caused numerous problems.

My current facility has posted and enforced visitation hours and I think that's just so much better. There are exceptions made sometimes, of course, like for a dying patient, but it's so nice not to have family members wandering around, barging into the mini-kitchen demanding food and drinks, all hours of the night. Visiting hours don't begin until 10 am, and it's really nice to be able to get the AM meds and care done without tons of family around too. If someone shows up before 10 the front desk will call up to the floor and ask if it's okay for that person to come up.

achot chavi

Specializes in acute care and geriatric. Has 20 years experience.

At an LTC facility I worked at, a woman was allowed to move a huge recliner into her husband's room. She stayed almost 24/7, only going home to shower sometimes and check on their house. This went on for about EIGHT MONTHS! He usually had a room mate.

The roommate never complained? even so, it is wrong to the roommate. Our SW would be setting limits, would she have liked it if the roommate had brought his family to sleep next to him...

We also dont allow other people even family members to eat from the pts tray- even if the pt allows it.

The dietitian is very strict that all the food on the tray goes to the pt and if the pt only eats jello, than we should throw away the leftovers, and work with the pt to see what he will eat and not allow families to eat from it, if the family wants to eat, they can pay for a tray, (reasonable cost)

we once had a woman obsessed with feeding her son and would steal food from other trays to give to her son when he came each day, the son was embarrassed and didn;t want the food but didn't want to hurt his mother either,so he would eat the cold, poorly wrapped offerings. We worked with him to keep his mother from doing this, but this just made her depressed. In the end he paid for a tray, she got two trays, marveled at her good fortune, and would save a tray for her son, putting her leftovers and choice portions on his tray as well...

This is why we have Mother's Day

southernbeegirl, BSN, RN

Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC. Has 16 years experience.

our facility allows this. it seems like every other room at our place has a family member staying 24/7. it is so commonplace at our facility that until i read the responses on this thread i had forgotten that in all the other places i've worked people didn't stay like they do in the one i work at now.

our facility is private pay or insurance for SNF, including medicare, only. we don't accept medicaid. i think that is a big factor in how our patients and families believe we should treat them like they are in a spa.

while i was giving a tour one weekend, had a lady ask "where's the pool?" and recently we had a lady ask where our "helipad" was because her husband would need a helicopter if he had to go back to the hospital. i swear it's true, lol.

our policy is that if they have a private room then whoever wants to stay can stay as long as it's ok with the patient. mostly it's just husbands and wives that stay though. we get a lot of people that will stay with their parent for the first night or two but then once they get used to us they learn to trust us and leave at night. thats real common at our place. a private room cost $15/day extra than the semiprivate if the pt is skilled. private LTC rooms are another matter. and we rarely have anyone stay with LTC patients unless they are dying.

but if a pt is in a semi private room then the rule is that only the same sex can stay. that way a son cant stay with his mom overnight if she has a roomate. that is to protect the roomate. and most are ok with this rule.

i think that we are just so used to people spending the night that we've forgot how nice it was when people didnt stay. *sigh* LTC sure has changed.

but i do have to say that most people are very nice. oh sure we get the anal ones but who doesnt i guess.

i admitted a 60y/o f last weekend s/p TKA. she was very apprehensive about coming for rehab. her husband stayed with her in the room. the next night before i left the husband came to talk to me. he told me that he had worked in LTC for 10yrs prior to retiring and moving to our state. he was supervisor of housekeeping/laundry. they didnt tell us that on admit. he told me that he wanted me to know how wonderful our place was. he said there hadnt been a person come in the room without a smile and that his wife was so comfortable that he was going home for the night. he told me he was going to talk to the administrator about us too and tell him how great we'd been to them.

you dont hear that enough,do you. it sure put a pep in MY step that night.

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