Sick of the complaining!

Published

Specializes in Professional Development Specialist.

It's been rough couple of weeks at work. Usually my patients are great. I work my butt off and they see that and appreciate it. But the patients and families these last two weeks have been different. I sent one pt to the hospital, turns out she had 3 PEs. The Dr called to say good job, you saved her life! The family showed up to pick up the patient's belongings, they are not bringing her back because the nursing staff is "horrible." They felt that because she developed a cough the night before we should have known she had a PE and screamed at anyone who would listen. The poor float PRN nurse had never even met their mother and she got read the riot act by these people. She was never in any distress and had no other symptoms. They are threatening to report us (and presumably me) for not calling 911 but instead calling the paramedics, who arrived within 10 minutes. I hadn't even finished copying the MAR before they pulled up!

I have another pt who despite every effort continues to tell me what a horrible place my facility is, asking when we are going to be shut down or go out of business. Another told me it was worse than "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest." Another told my partner that "in her day, nurses took their jobs seriously" because we hadn't tried to get up and dress her family member that day (who is literally hours from dying, would you want to be dragged out of bed and dressed in your final moments?) :uhoh3: I'm having a hard time not letting my aggravation show and my patience is wearing thin. I can only do so much with 14-18 sub acute patients, the day of the PE lady I had 2 other patients with major changes in condition and there's no doctor close by to page like in a hospital. I have to call and convey their condition over the phone and hope the right call is made. It's not easy! Despite what one patient said, I am NOT just standing around chatting all day (complete with a rude "yack, yack, yack, that's all you nurses do all day.") :down:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC/Skilled Care/Rehab.

I know what you mean. Luckily I haven't had too many families complain but I have only been working there a week ;). I have had a couple of residents complain to me but when they see that I am working non-stop my entire shift they have appologized. I don't take it personally. I'm sure they complain to all the nurses no matter how hard they work (or not).

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Hospice, Geriatrics, Wounds.

overworked and underappreciated

i know the feeling. wish all nurses took their jobs seriously. that's part of the problem. you can have 6 fantastic nurses and one horrible nurse and the horrible nurse is the one they remember & group with the others.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER/Geriatrics.

you need to post zero tolerance of abuse ....and firmly say that you would be happy to discuss the families concerns or direct them to the manager if they would like to have a proper conversation. It is unfortunately a few unprofessional staff that ruin it for everyone else. I will do anything for anybody but will not tolerate rudeness or abuse. I do recognize that at times family are scared, feel helpless, guilty etc and I try to tap into that "it is really hard to see your mom this sick....."

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Professional Development Specialist.
wish all nurses took their jobs seriously. that's part of the problem. you can have 6 fantastic nurses and one horrible nurse and the horrible nurse is the one they remember & group with the others.

i get that, but these are complaints about me. i'm hustling my butt all day, but nothing is ever good enough. the snack due at 10am came at 10:30. it took 10 minutes for me to answer the call light. yes, i forgot to refill your water for a bit. sorry, but i was worried the lady complaining of 11 out of 10 pain might be having a heart attack and trying to get an o2 order for the lady with sats in the 80s (not the pe lady btw.) i try not to take it personally because usually my patients see me working and know i'm doing a great job but i've had a run of challenging people lately. after a day of going out of my way to make everyone happy to be told i'm not working, i'm just yacking at the nurses station all day makes me want to explode! sitting to take off orders, call a dr., or chart= doing nothing. standing at my cart pulling out meds=doing nothing. i don't get it. if giving meds and doing my job is being lazy, what am i supposed to be doing?

one guy asked me for something "when i'm not busy." i told him i was always running so i'd just get that for him now. he asked me if he should get a shovel (for the bs!) why do they have to be so rude? you asked for something and got it right away and that still isn't good enough? they still have to get in the little dig?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

That happens everywhere. One person can be a bad apple, then the patient assumes that everyone is that way. That bad nurse doesn't even need to be at your location, but once that patient interacts with that bad nurse, they stereotype the others. People cling to negative feelings more often than positive. As long as you know you are doing your best and are not being lazy like some nurses, then don't worry about it. If they report you, they have no evidence of anything and you'll have plenty of people to back you up.

Shoot, I worked at a craft store and that happened. I would hear customers complaining saying "these employees have no idea what they are doing." Despite the fact that they couldn't find the Gingher scissors and I led them there. I just laughed in my head and moved on. God forbid we have a hard time with the fabric tickets. Technology breaking down was our fault. Or that we had a hard time counting the fabric because their bratty kid kept touching it and moving it. Me starting over was because I couldn't count, not because their kid moved it over 6 inches. People love to complain and they love to be rude. And I love to just smile and laugh in my head at them. HA!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds Homecare.

Hey Jennifer, I just wanted to tell you that you are doing a good job, and the PE call from a cough was topnotch. Hugs to you. For some reason people in this world are all about "what's in it for me?" Some are just chronic complainers. And some of them need manners 101. Keep up the good work and have a great day!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I had a run of ungrateful PIAs for a while. It only takes the occasional pt/family that expresses a bit of gratitude to make it worthwhile, but sometimes they can be few and far between. But I've had days/weeks even when it seems no matter what you do, you can't win.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Hospice, Geriatrics, Wounds.

how many patients do you care for?? oh, i see 14-18 - how big is your facility and how many total nurses and patients are there? can you not get some help from your cna's to take some of the load off of you? (i think sometimes we don't utilize our cna's as much as we should). how are your time management skills? maybe.....you just have more work than time. is your don approachable? could you go to her and just let her know you feel overwhelmed and ask her for help or suggestions?

sounds like you have a fantastic group of patients (sarcastic)!! i, too, feel overworked and underappreciated at times. i try to prioritize and not to start anything new until i finish with the old (except in emergencies). my patients are 95% nice. it does hurt our feelings when our patients are ugly to us. i think sometimes they are miserable themselves and we are just their punching bags. nursing is supposed to be a rewarding career, it doesn't sound like you are being rewarded. wish i could help!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

My favorite thing to do when people start being verbally abusive is to just stop what i'm doing and quietly stand there, calmly, and NOT SAY A WORD. The people rant and rant. And if they pause to breathe, I still don't say anything, so they continue ranting, pretty soon, all they hear is their own voice going on and on nonstop, and a lot of times they actually start to get embarrassed becasue they realize how they are sounding. Most of the time they even start ot apologize. They trick is to just STAY SILENT. If you try to explain anything, you give them amunition to argue about.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

I believe a lot of anger comes from guilt - maybe they are guilty because THEY are not providing excellent care to the loved one. Probably unresolved issues. Would be so nice to tell them off, though!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
It's been rough couple of weeks at work. Usually my patients are great. I work my butt off and they see that and appreciate it. But the patients and families these last two weeks have been different. I sent one pt to the hospital, turns out she had 3 PEs. The Dr called to say good job, you saved her life! The family showed up to pick up the patient's belongings, they are not bringing her back because the nursing staff is "horrible." They felt that because she developed a cough the night before we should have known she had a PE and screamed at anyone who would listen. The poor float PRN nurse had never even met their mother and she got read the riot act by these people. She was never in any distress and had no other symptoms. They are threatening to report us (and presumably me) for not calling 911 but instead calling the paramedics, who arrived within 10 minutes. I hadn't even finished copying the MAR before they pulled up!

I have another pt who despite every effort continues to tell me what a horrible place my facility is, asking when we are going to be shut down or go out of business. Another told me it was worse than "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest." Another told my partner that "in her day, nurses took their jobs seriously" because we hadn't tried to get up and dress her family member that day (who is literally hours from dying, would you want to be dragged out of bed and dressed in your final moments?) :uhoh3: I'm having a hard time not letting my aggravation show and my patience is wearing thin. I can only do so much with 14-18 sub acute patients, the day of the PE lady I had 2 other patients with major changes in condition and there's no doctor close by to page like in a hospital. I have to call and convey their condition over the phone and hope the right call is made. It's not easy! Despite what one patient said, I am NOT just standing around chatting all day (complete with a rude "yack, yack, yack, that's all you nurses do all day.") :down:

Do you work in assisted living by chance? I do and this sounds very familiar to me. I have a resident who does nothing at all but complain and gripe about how terrible things are. Funny, considering she has been in and kicked out of every single other facility in a 4 county area.

I have to spend my time listening to complaints about things that I have absolutely no control over. So, I've just started telling the residents that if they want to complain, see the administrator.

We don't have much trouble out of families much, though, because most of them don't bother to visit or anything.

To the second bold comment, I just found out today that one of the residents told one of the other employees that I don't do my job. Which is totally untrue and the other employees know it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion