Hello all,
I'm a new nurse and this past weekend was just a disaster for me at work. I'm still in orientation and I'm working in the CVICU. I went in Friday night just already not wanting to be there. For the past week I've had a lot going on at home and I've just felt extremely exhausted and burned out. Either way I really wanted to just try to put my week at home behind me and get ready to go into work and do my best for my patients, but it just seemed like I couldn't focus at all and I kept making mistakes left and right and I finally just broke down and started crying and my preceptor let me take a break to go calm myself down. I made t through the night but I just felt like I was on the verge of tears all night. I went back in the next night and the same thing happened an hour into my shift so I talked to my charge nurse and decided to go home for the night. I'm just totally embarrassed because I usually have no issue leaving my personal life at home or with being told I need to correct something if I'm doing something wrong but I just broke down this time. I've been feeling completely and totally exhausted/stressed and wake up with migraines. It's been really hard for me to adjust to working weekend nights and manage my family/home life on the days I'm off work. I think when I started crying at work it wasn't because my preceptor was getting on to me it was because I felt like I was failing my patients by not being in the right head space to be there. I just feel lost at this point and I don't know where to go from here. This job means a lot to me and I worked so hard to get through nursing school because this is truly what I'm passionate about doing with my life. Between adjusting to working weekend nights and having classes to go to and feeling like a failure as a mom and then constantly feeling like I'm not good enough to be a nurse I've just sunk myself. Even more so I feel completely embarrassed I cried at work not once but twice. Please any advice would be helpful on what I can do to get out of this rut.