Should I talk to my manager?

[Sweetpea04, BSN]

I have been an RN for two years. I started off in oncology and I got tired of it and wanted a change. I wanted to learn, test my knowledge and become stronger as nurse.

 

A big part of me regrets leaving because I was on dayshift, was a preceptor, had friends, and was comfortable. The job was not easy but I had a great schedule. 

 

I wanted to learn something new since I am a young nurse.

 

I always had a desire to work in critical care.. so I applied to adult ICU's and NICU's. I thought about going for my CRNA or possibly my acute care NP license. 

 

After much trial and error I was able to land a position in a level 3 NICU. I have been here 3 months. I was excited to start this new journey. I thought I would like being a nurse to neonates and their parents. I'm Still on orientation. Eventually I will transition to night shift, which I am NOT excited for. I did nights for a short time in oncology but it doesn't mesh with my lifestyle. 

 

I don't know if I like it here honestly. The babies are cute yes but it's a different kind of nursing than I am used to. I feel like everyday I come into work I wonder if I want to even be here. I thought I would start this job and have some kind of "moment" and immediately find my purpose here... but I haven't felt that way and it sucks.

 

I miss my oncology days and sometimes I wish I could go back. I have the option of asking my current manager if I could transfer back. (I transferred within same company of hospitals)

 

Can anyone give me advice? I feel lost and like a loser and failure 

[Peachpit]

There is no harm is talking to your manager about going back. At least you would know, definitely, if going back to Onc would be an option. The manager may say no then you can decide how to move on from there or if the manager agrees then you can decide if you really do want to go back and make the move.

As far as feeling the "moment"...I know a lot of nurses on here and other sites say they "knew" they were meant to work hospice, home health, the OR, born to be a nurse etc.  But  there are MANY of us who have NEVER had "that moment of knowing", where not "born" to be a nurse so that "moment" may NEVER come for you. And that is OK. It does not mean mean that another area of nursing other than the one you are in would not be a better fit. 

You tried NICU, it wasn't the fit you thought it would be. Now you know. That is not a failure, it's a learning experience.  And there is nothing magical about sticking out a unit or any job for a year if it doesn't fit. There are too many other options and life is too short to waste time on a situation that you know isn't right for YOU.

 

[chare]

As @Peachpit wrote above, you tried it, and it didn't work for you.  Realizing this, and wanting to move on doesn't make you a loser.

As many facilities require one to work a designated time after making a transfer, if you haven't done so, I would suggest reviewing your facility's policy.

Best wishes.

[cowboysandangels, BSN]

I agree with evreyone else.  If it is not a great fit for you then you need to look at options.  No failure in that.  I work with a co-worker that hates their position.  She is a wonderful nurse but it shows that she is unhappy here.  It would best for her to move to a position more suited for her and, honestly, for us as well because we need someone that really wants to be in this spot.  As a manager, I would welcome your honestly and try my best to work with you to get you back to where you flourished.  

[mtmkjr, BSN]

Would you have the option of picking up shifts on your old unit? 

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Talk to your previous manager. If you really want to go back, be prepared to explain  why they should  give you your previous position back.  I never had a "moment". It takes time to find a really good fit. Closest I had to a moment was when I was hired for a work from  home job.

[GrumpyRN, NP]

Sweetpea04 said:

I feel lost and like a loser and failure 

Absolutely NOT!

You tried something new and it has not worked out as you hoped - fine, now you know. Find something new or yes, go back to where you were. Neither option makes you a loser or a failure. if anything it makes you better and stronger.

Good luck with your endeavours in the future.

[JKL33]

Sounds like you are learning valuable lessons about yourself, nursing and life...which is basically how we grow. No shame there!

Will admit I've come back to this post like 3 different times cause it gave me a little pause. It still does so I'll add my comment in hopes that it might be useful; if not then just disregard.

I feel a little something when nurses want to "learn something new" after a relatively short time in the profession. It suggests that they are looking for something and don't know what, or were expecting a different feeling from nursing. Because otherwise there is plenty left to learn after only 2 years in Onc (or almost any area of nursing). KWIM?

If the subject matter/specialty or patient population isn't really of particular interest, that is merely a totally reasonable personal preference (we all have them). BUT - that is different than just thinking that a different thing is going to be more exciting/fun/prestigious etc, etc. For example, I spent most of my bedside years in ED; it was well suited to my personality for those years and I loved what it was at baseline (sorting through large varieties of problems as fast as possible; encountering any and all type of patient, reacting quickly then moving on to the next thing). But there are a lot of people who simply imagine that being an ED RN is some bada$$ thing (which it isn't) that is better than a lot of other types of nursing, and would want to work in the ED mostly to experience that/be associated with that. I don't know about your personal circumstances but a lot of people want to be involved in NICU because sweet tiny babies and ICU.

When we have experiences like this in life it's good to take stock, contemplate a little, examine our motivations and move on knowing a little more about ourselves.

I do agree with all the comments above me. Take care and don't get down on yourself. Work at being the best nurse you can be and you'll find your own place in nursing. ??

[DavidFR, BSN, MSN, RN]

Many lives ago I tried burns and plastics and it wasn't for me. I went back to my old post in infectious diseases. Stayed there  for a very happy two more years and eventually did move on to other things that did fit me better than burns and plastics.

You may or may not stay in oncology for ever, but at least you know what you're going back to while you sort yourself out and get over this disappointment.  

It is not a failure. You had a go. Things will slot into place eventually.

[beachynurse, ASN, BSN]

GrumpyRN said:

Absolutely NOT!

You tried something new and it has not worked out as you hoped - fine, now you know. Find something new or yes, go back to where you were. Neither option makes you a loser or a failure. if anything it makes you better and stronger.

Good luck with your endeavours in the future.

Excellent advice! After all, how would she know she didn't like it if she didn't try. Then there may be regrets about passing on the opportunity. Every position, every move is a teaching opportunity, so OP now knows this isn't for her.. This does not make her a failure at all, I think she has gained wisdom..