Should I stop to help?

Art_Vandelay · Jul 9, 2011

I think in nursing, our instinct is to help... that makes us vulnerable in times when we just shouldn't help... we just need to get the **** out.

Precisely. :up:

EmergencyNrse · Jul 9, 2011

I stop and help all the time without much worry.

Guess it depends on the situation I'm in but then again I'm 6'0, 250# and always armed.

Got Sig?

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Double-Helix, BSN, RN · Jul 9, 2011

No way! It's not like you witnessed a car accident. You saw a strange man walking to your car and motioning for you to get out or open the window. That's not a situation where you are obligated to go anything except get out of there! If you are concerned they really need help, call 911 for the person, but don't risk your safety.

I'm not even sure I would stop at a car accident if it was dark, I was alone and in a rough area of town. You can't help anyone if you aren't safe yourself.

ChuckeRN, BSN, RN · Jul 9, 2011

Armed or not (and I am as well), I still would not have stopped in the OP's situation. The best use of a gun is to not have to use it.

I stop and help all the time without much worry.
Guess it depends on the situation I'm in but then again I'm 6'0, 250# and always armed.
Got Sig?

MN-Nurse, ASN, RN · Jul 9, 2011

So, on my way to work last night, I was approached at an intersection by a man motioning me to roll down my window. I shake my head no, and proceed to drive onward. Now, call me paranoid, but I did not see any signs of active bleeding or acute distress, and well, it was dark. I have watched too many crime shows. Anyway, as a healthcare provider, I do feel obligated to stop and help if someone were in obvious acute distress, but some stranger approaching my car? I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, as the saying goes.

I've had this happen to me a few times. I let them come over to the closed window and I say, "Can I help you?" through the window.

If they refuse to talk and just keep motioning for me to roll the down the window...I go on my merry way. Most of the time they want to ask for money.

People in distress will yell, scream, wave their arms, run around in circles, and jump up and down in hopes anyone will help them. People up to no good (or begging for money) generally try not to attract attention.

caregiver1977 · Jul 9, 2011

I think the OP made the right decision. That situation is different than if you see an obvious medical emergency happening. A man just motioning for you to roll your window down could have had all kinds of bad intentions.

trauma_lama, BSN · Jul 9, 2011

you were right on. i woulda done the same thing. IMHO unless a person is making their distress visible, they have no right to expect you to stop when you're traveling alone in this day and age. you made a smart choice, trust yourself! :yeah:

Not_A_Hat_Person, RN · Jul 9, 2011

On that same note- We had a case in our state,not too long ago where some people got a hold of an undercover cop car. They went on a dark highway with hardly any traffic. they were pulling people over and robbing them. (these are NOT cops). but people thought just because they were cops it was ok to pull over. My cousin (a police officer) told me about it, and told me it was OK to keep going and not pull over as long as you 1) put your flashers on or 2) call the police station and tell them the situation and you will be pulling over when you get near more traffic and lighted area. So basically, just don't pull over, even for a cop in a secluded area.

That may work for you, since you have a cousin who is a cop. For those of us without relatives in law enforcement, not pulling over makes you Yet Another Police Brutality Statistic.

diva rn, BSN, RN · Jul 9, 2011

You did the right thing...

The one time I did stop was a few years ago on I-95. I was driving home from work one morning and I came across a man laying on the right side of the interstate who was clearly dead...a truck was stopped about 60 feet beyond the body. I did pull over and two others did as well. I ID'd myself as a nurse, the others were paramedics just getting off shifts, police were en route. There was nothing that could be done, this guy was gone, but we had just started CPR in hopes of a miracle I guess when the police came...I filled out some paper work and quietly left.

On the way home, it really shook me up. Not CPR, just the fact, that I was calmly driving home minding my own business and saw a dead man on I-95...it was like a Hallucination. NO ONE saw the accident. At first I thought I was just tired, but wow.

Now, with the economy so bad, there isn't a day that goes by, that I don't see some one with a sign asking for a handout. Usually they are at the on ramps for the interstate...sometimes they approach the cars. I do not make eye contact. Feel sorry, but there was a recent expose on the local news station about a guy that had a route where he would beg....he usually made around 200 bucks a day....tax free...not bad...

DeeAngel · Jul 9, 2011

Under those circumstances there is no way I would stop. I would drive on up the road a bit, pull over and call 911 to report the location of the person. Unless you actually see an accident happen it's just not safe to stop if it's an isolated area and you are alone. If it's late at night in an isolated area and you are rear ended DO NOT STOP. Drive on and call 911. That's a classic scam to get women out of their cars when they are alone at night.

Don't do it.

Amanda.RN · Jul 9, 2011

I would have refused and driven away too. You should not put yourself in danger's way. Good choice (...and you're still here to write about it...the ending could have been much different if you had decided to stop). Take care & keep safe!

Anisettes, BSN, RN · Jul 10, 2011

There's a reason your gut talks to you. Listen to it. There's an excellent book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker if you'd like to learn more. We should all listen to our gut more.